Canada invited to be an American state

Michael Moore, an American movie maker, satirist and commentator, recently wrote an open invitation to Canadians:

The invitation is based on an authentic article of the American Articles of Confederation written in 1777 as a precursor to the American Constitution.

How Canada attained its independence
Yesterday, July 1, was Canada’s 4th of July. You Canadians call it “Canada Day”.  Whatever. It’s the day you celebrate YOUR independence from the British. You had to do it your way — no killing, no death, no tossing and wasting good tea. You simply waited them out until they were sick of the cold and then they just left. 80 years after our revolution.

The Canada Clause in the US Articles of Confederation
But when our Continental Congress in 1777 wrote the precursor to our Constitution – “The Articles of Confederation“ – they didn’t want to leave you, Canada, out of the new country! So they included a clause that said Canada could leave the Brits behind whenever they wanted and automatically become the 14th State of the United States of America. Thank you very much. You’re welcome!

ARTICLE XI of the Articles of the US Confederation
Canada acceding to this confederation, and joining in the measures of the United States, shall be admitted into, and entitled to all the advantages of this union. But no other colony shall be admitted into the same unless such admission is agreed to by nine states.

Canada rejected the US offer
I wonder if maybe now they’d like to reconsider?

  • How many Canadians yesterday on Canada Day spent time at their BBQs wishing they could strip their female citizens of their reproductive rights!
  • And strip their environmental ministry of its authority to stop carbon polluters!

Oh Canada, how on May 14th of this year you must have looked longingly across the Niagara River at Buffalo while Black people were slaughtered by one of our thousands of white supremacists with legally purchased guns! You know your Stanley Cup now sits just miles from Columbine High School!

Medical care – Canada vs US
How weak you must feel having to depend on your government which pays for every single one of your doctor and hospital bills — and you, never having to suffer the pain of bankruptcy due to medical bills, because you refuse to play by the rules of the free-market system which decrees there can be no health care without a profit motive! Without the shareholders getting rich through the widespread denial of medical care! All this freeloading — no wonder you’re soft! We’ll never forget that you wouldn’t join us in invading Iraq!

How can you live like this?! Pre-voter registering every one of your citizens on the day of their birth so that they get their voter card 18 years later to the very day?! How the hell can you suppress the vote that way! Why do you resent the way Democracy works!

Trudeau offers abortions to American women
And now your prime minister tells every American woman that if they are unable to get an abortion in the U.S. they are welcome to come to Canada and get one for free! At least 20% of America considers this an act of war! 

To our Canadian neighbors— I’m sure most Americans would still love to have you as part of our Great Nation. As we get ready to honor our 4th of July, what a neat celebration it would be to have you with us! We’ll teach you how to shoot, how to gerrymander, and we can help you clean up your constitution (Section 28 of the current Canadian Constitution’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms: “Notwithstanding anything in this Charter, the rights and freedoms referred to in it are guaranteed equally to male and female persons.”)

Think about it!
Michael Moore

Read the comments written about Moore’s invitation:  COMMENTS

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