Some visitors will label me a pessimist. Maybe I am but I prefer to think of myself as a realist. So when I received the “Good friends…and the happiness in old age,” I just had to respond from the gut.
As many seniors, the list of the downside of old age is lengthy, very lengthy: aches, pains, rusty joints, indigestion, irregularity, sleep interrupted by bladder calls, the list goes on and on and lengthens as the years go by.
You would think from what I write that I am miserable, depressed and very sad with my old age. To some extent that is true. I am saddened because the days for me to grow, to learn, to develop are now numbered and diminishing each day. This saddens me because I find that now that I have time on my hands, it has become an enemy. I feel I have more time to do things that I like to do as I have no job to attend to, no concretized commitments which I must keep. So you would think there is much more time on my hands. There is. Except doing things takes longer and longer as I grow older. My brain doesnt work as quickly and as efficiently as before. My memory sucks. My attention span is in the can. My mind cannot organize the spaghetti jumble of things I must do, I want to do, I need to do and I will do. It is a growing mess, about as organized as a bag of chisels.
Much saddens me with old age; things are coming to a close, yet I fight the pessimism, with determination. I can no longer power walk as I used to, but I can walk…and I do. My motorcycling days are coming to a close…but I bought a new bike and I continue to ride. TV is filled with garbage in my books…but it may be that I simply am more critical about ‘time wasters.’ Commercials drive me crazy…so I find ways of circumventing them…the mute button on the remote, talking with my wife while they run.
Old age squeezes my heart, reminding me that my numbered days are decreasing, how fast, I dont know, thank goodness. I dont dwell on the number but the thought of these decreasing numbers does cross my mind daily.
OK..so as sad as this may all seem to be what is the bottom line. Ain’t that simple. First, in reply to the article I received, old age is crap, no matter how you cut it. But what choice do you have. So I guess the best response is make the best of it. I choose my friends with greater care. I choose my activities with a more selective eye. Simply put, I choose…whatever, whoever, wherever all with great diligence.
I am happy each morning when I see the window shining from the sunlight. I smile when I walk Fermo and he scampers along with his short little legs. I am gratified when my wife wakes and smiles and greets me with her very warm “Good morning.” Life is good, very good and because of that, I am saddened when I think about the last chapter coming to a close, no matter what kind of encouragement and positive messages I receive.