Aug 9 – Adult games and a cell phone mishap for a rude woman

Rotzy’s bouncing back from the griping and grousing…and he’ll put a few smiles on your face in this posting. The MEMO one is great, the ADULT FUN is right up there too !


    MEMO: to the woman in the dark blue late model Honda (or Hyundai) four-door who ‘flipped the bird’ at me yesterday just about noon at the In And Out Store parking lot….when I blew my horn at you (to get your attention). Actually, it was merely a ‘little toot’ because, you see, I never use it….my horn….and I didn’t want to alarm you. Well, I hardly ever use it but yours truly was surprised/aghast that Norm’s ‘toot’ would get a ‘bird flip’ (in fact several ‘bird flips’) with a lode of ‘verbal accompaniment.’ Anyway, the point is surely moot, at this point in tyme, because I rather doubt that your cell fone is still sitting on the roof of your Honda (Hyundai). Have a swell day.

Every Day….
….after the 5:30AM News, Paul Lang…the AYEM Guy at 92.9 The Grand FM….tells us what Day it is….like Earth Day, Nurses Day, Potato Chip Day, This Day, That Day….but it’s never just one day and most ‘Days’ share it with other causes, events, persons, professions, and cetera. Hence, last Friday when Langer read out ‘International Beer Day’….the first one on his list….it seemed to stop him cold for a couple seconds. He ‘recovered’ and read out the rest of his list of Days, then returned to IBD. Now, having listened to Paul since he landed in Caldonya about a year ago, I know he ‘likes his suds’….as does Rotzy….sometymes, as pointed out by Miz, Jo, too much….and that’s fine….that Paul ‘likes his suds’. But….’International’ had thrown him a curve, and if he’s a ‘one brand man’ he’d have to go with American beers (Rotzy could have Michelob, St Pauli Girl or Rolling Rock, a number of which went down the hatch in an upscale Civil War era building/restaurant/bar at Gettysburg a couple decades back; and/or other ‘imported beers’….no messing around there, make it Heineken please. But if it’s from the gigantic, still growing list of brands from micro/craft breweries….Rotzy’ll take a pass, thank you kindly. Yes, yes, yes….surely some of them brew fine beer, but the one with ‘Real Peanut Butter Flavour’ that one of the LCBO staffers enthusiastically recommended did it for the olde guy. Hence, yours truly remains ‘a B-B-B-Bud Man’…the only change/switch in forty-plus years having been to Bud Light (less alcohol and ‘smoother’) a year ago….even if I ‘like it too much’….sometymes. Anyway, Langer was starting holidays after Friday’s show, so I DO hope he got ‘International’ Beer Day sorted before he drove to the In And Out Store

You Woulda/Coulda/Shoulda Called It….
….’Fone Funn Of The Cell Variety’. But last week my ongoing ‘Cell Fones 101’ course might’ve landed Rotzy in a ‘cell of the padded variety’. The ‘course’ has me foning Miz. Jo….and Miz.Jo only….from over at Hope Garden, after I do whatever gardening needs doing. I noticed that whilst calling her the display showed/read ‘International Call” and showed flags…the US….and others? I didn’t like that at all. The next day I got a call….ME!….Rotzy!….here in our apartment! I don’t get calls….EVER! None! And it’s some guy I don’t recognize/know and he sounds ‘unscrupulous’ to me. He says ”you’ve ”known me for years”. Repeats it, then says his name is John. Well, I know a few Johns, and none of them would string me along like this guy was doing….so Rotzy is getting beyond ‘edgy’. Can you say ‘panicky’? Hey look….”if you back me into a corner, I’m not gonna come out of it  tossing orange peels at you”!! (*thx for that line, Bris (not his real name) and I remember it well from Pearl St.) But this ‘mystery guest’ bulls–t is new/different….I know not whom/where the bad guy is….nor what he’s after and it’s the heck of me! I gave him TWO loud coughs….BOTH of them far coughs. Then I told Jo Ann ‘The Rotz” has had it with Sammy Samsung….cancel my 101 course! Miz. Jo said “You’re doing just phine, next tyme just hang up”! ”Yeah right….if I can remember how to hang up. John is a dink”! Stay tuned.

Adult Pop-Up Playgrounds (*see below)
    So announced the CBC announcer/interviewer last Saturday morning….’50 of them! (throughout the GTA)’ said the interviewee in return….and the program is getting underway this week. Adults playing like children while acting like children….childish, huh? So what’s wrong with that? The thing is we’ve forgotten how to play, so the whole idea of this thing is to get adults playing again…..to remember how much funn it was to PLAY LIKE A LITTLE KID….and to find it STILL IS! To get oldsters out of their COVID cocoons, shake off the decades-olde cobwebs, take a stroll to the playground (on your walker if need be)….the way yours truly sees it is that playgrounds are ‘fair game’ for anybody and everybody from 8 to 80, blind, crippled or crazy….it doesn’t cost you a cent….then sit on a swing! That’s what I said….a swing. YOU could/can do that. See? YOU control how fast/high you’re comfortable with. Wanna kick it up a notch?? Have a go on the teeter-totter**I guarantee in no tyme at all you’ll remember it works better if you have a partner (or a complete stranger) on the other end! See? Then you can monkey around on the monkey bars….or follow my lead and just hang there. See? You ready to give the slide a go? Too high for Rotzy but I’ll catch you at the bottom if you’re going. See? I also don’t trust my balance for a bike ride, but if Skyline starts providing three-wheelers here (as they’ve indicated) by all means, colour me there! See? As to the Toronto initiative….the plan/idea is good…fine….and aimed at ALL adults….that’s a wide swath and includes everybody who’s ‘stopped playing’….that’s fine too. But Rotzy can see instructors galore, red tape galore, rules galore, duplications, declarations, a law suit and perhaps a fist fight here or there. And costly to operate. My plan? Firstly, it’s aimed at those from 65 to 100….when you’re already olde as dirt, a couple years younger or older is no big deal. Here’s another thing….Rotzy went down to Tutela Park a year ago for the grand opening of the Eagle Place C/A’s  SPLASH Pool, told Torch (not his real name) I was gonna wear my swimming costume….alas, I chickened out!….and when I saw how much funn the kids were having I was really pissed at myself. So….SO….earlier this summer when I took Miz. Jo down to check out the walking trails at Mohawk Park I did put my swimming costume on (no, it’s not a Speedo*tm) and whilst she was walking, Rotzy hit their splash pool! The kids didn’t know what was happening….some phatt olde guy with a Santa beard, his head tilted down/off to one side and his balance not great….but when they saw ‘Santa’ was serious about getting wet, all was well….they even showed me where to stand under the overhead dumping bucket. Miz. Jo practically had to drag me back to the car! And even here at the Skyline Compound….I already spoke of this ‘childish activity’ down by the commune garden where Rotzy and Wheelchair Bobber get into our ‘Barney Bad-Ass Routine’ with me controlling the garden watering hose….NOT sporting bathing costumes, hence we’re pretty much soaked to the ass. Hey, a lot of people gonna look at us and say something like….”Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Look at those two foolish olde men!! How CHILDISH of them”!! Them’s the ones that need to be targeted, need to sit on a swing, get drenched with a hose. You know….have some funn.

*Thought Of The Day…Life is hard: it’s even harder if you’re stupid.  (John ‘Duke’ Wayne)

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