Learning English can be easy…
(Published in early 2017)
The European Commission has just announced that English will be
the official language of the European Union. German, which was
the other possibility, narrowly missed out.
During negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly this
will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be
dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be
replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20%
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
“th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords
kontaining “ou” and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali
Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey
vunted in ze forst plas.
Thanks to Don V.