Apr 13 – Issues with toilet paper tissues

Renaming consideration: “Report from Nakina outhouse?”

 

 

Happy Easter….
….belated as it may be, and seeing as I’m writing this on Good Friday, starting into the long weekend, please join me in song (tho Easter will have passed by the tyme you read the T-Star) in what is surely one of the most popular songs of the season….kinda like Spring’s anthem….in the key of “C”, OK? “Oh, in your Easter bonnett…..With all the frills upon it…..And though you badly want it…..There’s no Easter Parade”. No fancy new hats, parasols and fineries for the ladies this year, no carving of turkeys and/or hams, no yams for the men to look after at large family gatherings, as it appears parades and large meals (even family) are now taboo under COVID-19 laws. And whilst speaking of parades, the month-long Caribbean Carnival and it’s HUGE parade has been cancelled/backed off until 2021. As to the big annual Canada Day Parade and Celebration in Nakina, stay tuned on that, altho there was/is word on some sort of Easter Egg Hunt up there…one that would comply with the rules, but one thing IS for sure! Rotzy’s foil-wrapped Choc Eggs are in a bowl on the hutch, ready to be hidden Saturday night for my annual Easter Sunday Ayem Hunt….this year there’s KitKat*tm flavoured eggs, better than past years which were just plain chocolate….hence the reason for my newfound enthusiasm!! **Bulletin** Sunday 10:15AM….pleased to report the olde guy has found 18 of ’em, however the Easter Bunny neglected to get a total before hiding them. DOH!

Misuse/Abuse And Stuff
    We’re constantly being told about the #911 Emergency calls which do NOT qualify as ’emergency’ at all, including the whiners and criers who use it to complain about all of their many woes caused by the Amber Alert Messages….their loss of sleep, their ruined morning, ruined evening, ruined day/week/month/life, ad nausem….’nuff said about ‘them’, you get my drift. Further ‘misuse’ is rather widespread, but the one I heard on 92.9 The Grand last Wed just might take the “F/N” cake! Some 14-yr old boy from Simcoe foned 9-1-1 to report his Mom had stolen his bag of mary-wanna. The kid was so worked up about it the OPP actually had to ‘respond’ to the home, and then ‘diffuse’ the situation. Did I mention the kid was/is 14? Yes, I thought I had. Fine. NEXT!!!

I’m Quite Sure….
….I had mentioned in this space a few weeks back that ‘I was/am due’ to ‘pull a Humpty Dumpty’….as in ‘fall down go boom’…..as my last tumble was over at the TD Bank in the Fairview Mall pretty darn close to a year ago, which, with my past history/Nakina Clinic medical records, is a decent stretch for yours truly. TD’s cement sidewalk was not very forgiving and I ‘deposited’ (no pun intended) a substantial trail of 0-Negative blood through the reception area and right back into the lunchroom, where I was looked after by a young male employee and a nice lady who methinks had been eating a salad. I was good to go in about fifteen minutes. Fast/fwd to last Wed 3:00AM and ‘Dumpty’ went down in our bathroom, where the tiles-on-cement floor weren’t much more ‘forgiving’ than TD’s sidewalk had been….so, I klooned my pumpkin, left knee, hip, hand and elbow….again with lots of 0-Negative to clean up after a fine patch-up job by R/N Jo Ann. Taking some tyme to work out the soreness, and I was certainly was feeling all of my 75 years, which I had reached/achieved/acccumulated two days prior to my ‘Dumpty imitation’. Now it’s looking like Miz. Jo is done changing bandages and Rotzy will continue ‘de-kinking’. And a big Thank You for what seemed like an endless number of Happy 75 Wishes. Three quarters of a century….Imagine!!

Readers Write
    And this one brings up a very good point as to peoples’ reactions/over-reactions regarding how to/how not to deal with COVID-19. Check it out….*Just think….people who kiss their dogs, knowing that little Fido or Spot lick their own ass everyday, are in a total panic to buy sanitizer!?

More Readers Write
    And this post was/is for sure an interesting piece called The History Of Toilet Paper….all (dare I say MORE) than you need to know about the hottest selling product in supermarket these days, except for perhaps Handi Wipes*tm. For example, did you know toilet paper was first in use in China in the 6th Century? Or that it takes 30,000 trees daily to supply the globe with T/P?  Here’s a goodie….Redova T/P (made in Portugal) is the most expensive in the world at $3 a roll and it comes in different colours….Beyonce prefers Redova Red and it seems Kris Jenner likes Redova Black, however there is no word on Bruce J’s preference….(*who knows if he was OK with Charmin way back then? People can change their minds ya know!) I don’t have any idea who came up with the next one, but Rotzy’s not making this s–t up. Here goes….Queen Elizabeth II wipes her royal bottom with ‘silk handkerchiefs!! And last but not least….somewhat mind-boggling for yours truly, but do NOT ask nor expect me to speculate on the numbers any further, other than to make them available to the ”From Nakina” readership….70 -75% of the Earth’s population do NOT use toilet Paper.

RIP….John Prine
    Singer, song writer, guitar player. To say ‘he had his own style’ doesn’t cover it. John ‘caught the bus’ last Tuesday….a victim of COVID-19….at the age of 73….but he left a lot of amazing music behind. You can bet he’s already ‘shook God’s hand’ and is putting his ‘new rock and roll band’ together.

*Thought Of The Day…A September morning in 2050….and John used the last roll of toilet paper his parents bought in 2020!!

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