Apr 26 – COVID-19 and all that jazz

Readers Write
   And a large number of them have taken to emailing out funn stuff on an daily basis, I suppose in an effort to lift peoples’ spirits and maybe get their minds on other things, whilst other cartoons, jokes (*see below) and cetera are taking aim right at COVID-19. Hey….whatever it takes, you think? Check ’em out. *1/ Anyone else’s car getting 3 weeks to the gallon at the moment? *2/ COVID-19 is just like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded! *3/ Thinking a mask is gonna stop CORONA is like thinking your undies are gonna stop a fart!

J.O.T.W.
    Seeing as Miz. Jo and Rotzy are getting so much funny stuff here at “F/N”HQ, perhaps we can get the Joke Of The Week in a little more regularly. Here goes….*1/ A man walks into a bar…. …. …. ….the lucky SOB….I mean, think about it. *2/ After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life, if I die because I touch my face I’m gonna be really pissed. *3/ The problem with stealing jokes off the Internet is you never know if they’re genuine. (Abraham Lincoln)

Records And Stuff
    Well, as the saying goes/went, ‘records are made to be broken’, tho we don’t always agree with that saying, often tymes we have no say in whether they ARE broken, or NOT broken as far as that goes. Anyway, congrats go out to Skyline Living….our kindly keepers here….as the number of catalytic converters to ‘go missing’ here at #555 H-P has risen to four, over the short span of TWO months….under the constant 24 hr surveylance cameras….”F/N” got that theft info from a ‘reliable source’, hence with the milder weather coming, would it not make sense that the number will continue to rise….(dare I say ‘spiral’ upward….when April becomes May, becomes June? Stay tuned.

    Another record I heard about yesterday on Zoomer Radio 740….and I hope I can get this straight…. this area has been at temperatures BELOW 20C for 200 consecutive days (we’re now over 200) going back to ‘early Oct’. Having said that, I’m not sure if we’re supposed to yell ”hip-hip-hurray’ or put another stick on the fire? (*note….turned out to be a beautiful day under sunny skies and about 15C….shorts and t-shirt.

    Last but not least, much to the chagrin of Miz. Jo, yours truly’s memory…the ‘short term’ variety….seems too be slip, slidin away, to quote Paul Simon. There’s nothing at all wrong with my ‘long term’, in fact I knocked off a perfect 10 in a test my nephew sent us to put a singer’s name to a song from the 1970’s! However, if I go from one room to another here in unit #303…..and we only have three….then can recall why I did, it’s almost cause for celebration. I have three items which somehow ‘go AWOL’ on a regular basis, my keys, my ‘fob’ (unlocking device) and my cigs and lighter, the latter of which I can ‘lose’ either separately or both at once. And I do. Lose them. Tho perhaps ‘misplaced’ is a better word….because they ALWAYS turn up. Well 9 tymes out of 10….and last Tues….or was it Wed?….I ‘lost’ one or both of them TEN tymes….in one day! Anyway, there was a ‘Seniors’ Memory Course offered here at #555 and Miz. Jo enrolled, Rotzy was about to, then COVID-19 shut it and everything else down. Well, everything but an open-season on catalytic converters. By the bye, I’m still using the same lighter….an NHL Original Six…my favourite.

On The Brighter Side
    A definite mood swing….for the better….took place here yesterday. The ‘COVID gloom and doom’ was replaced for five or ten minutes by a ‘birthday parade’….under a clear blue sky….which wound its way through the parking lot as Miz Jo and Rotzy looked down upon from our balcony. Cars, big pickups SUV’s and 4 or 5 big Harleys, everybody’s horns honking, waving, decorations, best wishes signs, balloons….masks and proper ‘spacing’ by onlookers. We decided The Birthday Girl…..the red hair gave her away….is a grand daughter of our Resident Manager at #555. What a nice change from the ever-present/everyday ‘avoid anybody and everybody at any cost’ prevailing attitude….even if it was only for ten minutes of normalcy.

O Canada
    So….SO….we’ll attempt to carry on the positive thinking today (Sun) at 12:00 Noon for the weekly singing of the national anthem….a routine that was started last week. From what we could see and/or hear, Miz. Jo and yours truly were the ONLY residents here at Skyline City to brave a cool rain, then belt out what might have been a less than perfect version of O Canada….even if it did come from the heart. We did get a standing ‘O’ from our friend Melissa and her golden retriever Montana which made us feel pretty good. Anyway, we did get word out and about for this week with hopes of enlarging the Choir, in spite of what’s looking like another cool/rainy day. I’m not expecting any comparisons to that group from Salt Lake City, but will try to let y’all know later or early Mon ayem how we fared.

How Do “F/N” Readers….
….handle this steady/non-stop COVID-19 News Reel? Like yours truly does? Especially the Daily Lists of new cases, how many were cured, and, in particularly, deaths. They are very seldomly named, unless they are a famous person, regardless of what category they fit into, so they merely become a number. We don’t know them. I don’t mean to sound ‘cold’ in that assessment, that’s just the way it is. Well, that’s the way it WAS for Rotzy….until last Wed when Miz. Jo got a fone call from an old friend of ours…in fact she was a next door neighbour of mine in 1959-60. She called to let us know her husband had died on the w/end….and he and I had been football buds since ’60 as well. He’d gone into BGH for other ongoing health issues, picked up the COVID-19 virus and it took him rather quickly. I had visited them a few tymes since we moved here in Oct 2018 and was due for another drop by, but with ‘distancing’ rules, etc….well you know. So, that one hurt. By the bye, it says here that the southern states and Sask are moving TOO damned quickly on taking a ‘more relaxed stance’ and they/we may well end up paying the price.

*Thought Of The Day…Diplomacy is telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.

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