Jan 19 – Rotzy vs COVID…grrr

Rotzy’s becoming increasingly upset and stressed with this COVIC pandemic. He is increasingly upset, stressed and worried with the changes and the effects of  the ‘rona on himself and life around him.


Readers Write
    And this one in particular offered up some thoughts on the proper wearing of/caring for masques, as well as a dash of ‘COVID Humour’ (*see below). Check ’em out:

Treat your masque like underwear:

  1. Do not touch or adjust/ especially in public.
  2. Do not borrow or lend
  3. Make sure it fits tight but comfortably
  4. Make sure it’s clean….daily or as needed
  5. Wear the right side out
  6. If there are holes in it, throw it away
  7. If it’s stained, throw it away

* Pretty wild how we used to eat a slice of cake….after someone had blown on it! Good tymes, eh!? **Happy Hour is starting earlier and earlier. If this keeps up we’ll be pouring wine on our cereal! (*note….our “F/N” #2 P/R Twennie (not his real name) just informed me that pouring Bailey’s on your Corn Flakes*tm is very common these days)

Coronavirus (*see above)
    When this COVID-19 thing really ‘kicked in’….let’s say maybe early last spring, you know, when ayem radio newscasts started reading the previous day’s ‘COVID-19 results’ very much like a complete run-down of NCAA March Madness basketball scores, altho it WAS a ‘madness’ of a different nature, I remember saying (to myself) “Well Toad, you wonder how long until ‘COVID-19 humour’ starts making the rounds? You oldsters still vividly remember how the world stopped when Lee Harvey Oswald blew most of JFK’s brains over the back seat of the limo in Dallas, yet WELL within a year stand-up comics and cartoonists were having a field day with that one! Then a couple years later JFK’s kid brother Bobby was shot dead/point blank in L/A, whilst trying to become the second Kennedy to become the President….and not very long after that, we were listening to music on F/M radio by a band called The Dead Kennedys”! *furthermore) “Well Toad, so….SO….what goes with THAT?! Is that maybe how we ‘cope’ with tragedy/disaster?….’cope’….by making us laugh at it and/or by glorfying it?? Because, right on cue….in truth, a good five of six months quicker than ‘getting over’ the JFK and RFK assassinations….here we are smiling/smirking/guffawing at the worldwide pandemium that is like something no living person has ever witnessed…..perhaps other than WWI and WWII.” (*end quote) Yet, the COVID-19 humour is everywhere….especially on the Internet, non-stop, 24/7 and “From Nakina” gets (more than) it’s share….hell, the Readers Write item you just finished reading is basically taken from one of them and I’m guessing/betting that it at least brought forth a grin. No!? Sorry, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. And if I take a step back and look at it/me, it doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out what Rotzy is trying to do. ‘To make people smile’….or ‘cope’ if you prefer….in print. For a few seconds, that’s all. Even out shopping in Lockdown Mode….’to make people smile’….but it’s hard to know if it’s working with masques in place, so I know not if someone is grinning or firing an F-Bomb at me. Tell you what….a grin is SO much better than paranoia, which is also reaching new levels daily!! Hey!….”Pins and needles, needles and pins, it’s a happy man that grins.”  (Ralph Kramden….1956)

Parking and Road Rage Udate
    I was doin’ good with my parking here at 555 Harris Place and around town before the current Lockdown, in fact when I went to my twice weekly tanning appointment, soon as I walked in the lady on duty would glance out front for Norm The Truck and give me a mark from D to A as to how bad or good my location was between the yellow lines. I well recall my last tyme as I received an A+! Then “Lockdown” came….Tanning Salons closed for 28 days!….or more!! Just when I was doing so damned well! Guess I’ll just practice on my own so that when they re-open I can show them that my A+ wasn’t a phluke! As to Road Rage….had to bite my tongue/keep my mouth shut the other day as I saw he had returned to his spot a day after Rotzy watched him being removed by Security. ‘He’ was/is a ‘beggar’ who’s ‘spot’ is on a foot-wide cement island at the Extrance/Exit to the Zehr’s Plaza at Fairview and Park Rd separating 4 lanes of traffic…2 in/2 out, from a busy street….and he’s been there for some tyme now. Sometymes sitting crosslegged, sometymes standing, and he’s always holding a cardboard sign that says ”homeless/starving/no money” and other stuff I can’t make out. Perhaps ”useless”? The thing is, he is a health hazard….putting himself at risk of injury or death, and other shoppers (including a LOT of oldsters, some of whom I’m sure don’t even realize someone’s standing there) coming and going. By the way, ‘he’ is more than one….yours truly drove by during ‘shift change’ a couple days ago, a new beggar with his own cardboard sign came on duty, there seemed to be some ‘movement of stuff’ from one’s bag to the other’s….and then ‘he #1’ departed to who knows where? So….SO….I’m thinking (to myself) “Jeez Toad…what in hell is ‘he’ gonna do if someone dropped a large can of Chef Boyardee*tm Beefaroni into his sack?! ‘Homeless’ means no kitchen, which means no can opener to open it, no stove to cook it on, no pot to cook it in, no plate to eat off and no utensils to eat with. Thanks pal! What about a nice big rutabaga and/or a cabbage?! He’s s–t outta luck! Ditto for a package of marinated skinless, boneless chicken breasts!! On the other hand, when he comes in for his next shift, he could walk right by his normal spot, go another 200 ft into Zehr’s Market and ask Manager Ralph (not his real name) for a job pushing MT carts back into the store. If not at Z’s, SOMEBODY in that large plaza needs help! AND….they’ll pay you in real money, hence you can BUY your OWN food! (*not likely gonna happen, you think?)

‘Issues’ Galore This Ayem….
….with my ASUS! Set me back 3 hours or more on finishing up this week’s ”F/N” column! S–t!! A real pain in the ass, ’twas! I don’t know what brought it on, nor why it happened but I’d just as soon things return to normal very soon, if they haven’t already, Thank You! Ooops! By the bye….that was/is NOT a ‘typo’! The ‘ASUS*tm’ is my PC….Personal Computer….not a part of Rotzy’s anatomy.

*Thought Of The Day…Ontario has banned groups larger than 5. If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least popular.

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