Oct 19 – Mooses, masks and an orange monster

Mooses are the game up north, masks are the same in the south, and in the deeper south, it’s an orange coloured monster…a very loose paraphrasing of Rotzy.

I Know Not How Nor Why….
….I failed to make mention in this space last week of the Sat Oct 10th opening of Moose Hunting Season (it MIGHT have been because of my COVID-19 rant?) particularly in and around Nakina. During 18 years of Miz. Jo and yours truly residing at 153 Hwy #584 we ALWAYS looked forward to the annual arrival/parade of incoming People Who Hunt Moose, in every type of vehicle imaginable and loaded to the gunwales with food, water, Canadian Club, apples, stuff FROM their veg garden down south. Many of them towing a boat with an outboard motor AND of course toilet paper, which may have been a little tougher to come by this year. Most of them have guns. Miz. Jo’s nephew Michael (not his real name) and some friends from New Liskeard stayed at our Rancho Deluxe camp for some years but had to look elsewhere in 2018 when R/D was sold, and they landed at Miz. Jo’s Sisty Ugler #2’s cabin, Knob Hill, just three doors up the path! Well, they’re a week into their 2020 Hunt but have yet to fill their tag! I imagine they’ll break camp’ today (Sat) and point it back to ‘Liskeard…..hopefully with a nice cow or bull aboard! Also, aside from missing the parade, Miz. Jo and I usually had a moose heart, some calf liver and some steaks ‘donated’ to our freezer after Week One. The ‘Bullwinkle’ season runs until mid-December.

‘Tis The Season….
….to be jolly! Yes indeed! HO-HO-HO! and Deck The Halls too!! No, Rotzy and Miz. Jo have NOT had too much eggnog nor a calendar malfunction….but we DID receive our first Xmas card for 2020….two days BEFORE Thksgiving! Number One is ALWAYS from our friend Joyce (not her real name) up on Superior’s north shore and methinks this year’s timing is about average tho I’m pretty sure they have arrived in early summer. Not so sure that’s just being efficient and/or well organized or if OCD is somehow involved in this case? Joyce has been the ‘earlybird’ since forever and she and Miz Jo have known each other forever as well!

    OK, OK. So, let me get this straight, there’s NO CURE for a virus that can be KILLED by  sanitizer wipes and/or Dove, Dial or Ivory Hand Soap?! Well, if that’s the case, I betcha Lifebouy and/or Phillips Pumice Soap must certainly work even better. That said, even as I try to get my melon around that statement, it just isn’t happening. “Why Not?”….you ask. Because I got that statement from the same people….(NO….NOT the Yanks!)…..Dr Teresa Tam and her federal/provincial counterparts….who had initially told me/us that ”wearing a masque is of zero benefit to you or others”. Anyway, there has certainly been a change of mind/heart,direction regarding wearing the masque, but Rotzy and Miz. Jo are in the dark regarding soap! Tell you what, we’re using Dial Antiseptic Soap in a squirt bottle and I swear my paws are beyond CLEAN enough at any given moment to perform open heart surgery. But, just to be sure, I’m gonna axe around here at Harris Place who’s using what?! Ahh s–t, I gotta buy more KN-95 Masques so I might as well get a couple Lifebouys!! This is the heck of me. Oh, and by the bye, I’ve got three KN-95 masques sitting on my desk that were never used….the elastic broke first tyme I tried to put it/them on! Throw them out? At 2 for $6.99?? Are you kidding me?! I picked up some Krazy*tm Glue at Zehr’s yesterday and Mr Phixit will have ’em good as new this aft, keeping in mind not to overdo the glue application, lest I should catch a good buzz when I try it/them out.

….the ever-growing anti-masque movement (which Rotzy has no part of/interest in) is starting to get out of hand these days with its’ demonstrations/protests, yesterday/last night they drew the ire of Police and civic officials in various locations including T.O. and Vancouver…..prompting Vancouver’s mayor to take to the media with the following message: ”There is no cure for COVID-19….and there is no cure for STUPID”! which promptly put His Worship in a good spot to win the “F/N” QOTW….Quote Of The Week!! As to his Tronna counterpart, John Tory, if he did come up with his own put-down/admonishment, either Rotzy didn’t hear it and/or I wasn’t impessed enough to make a note of it. By the bye, the Vancouver mayor also did some ‘major finger pointing’ south of the 49th, particularly at their orange president(*see below) for lack of setting a good (masque-wearing) example….as if Canada/Canadians would be swayed by Mr Trump, one way or the other! Imagine! Anyway, just for the record here, yours truly doesn’t like wearing a masque. Any of the 4 or 5 different ones I own. At all. But don’t tell anybody, OK? However, Dr Tam and her Ontario counterpart ask/tell/beg us to wear one, so I DO! And….basically….ditto for Miz. Jo.

But It’s Not….
….all doom and gloom, no sir/m’am!!! And that was pointed out to yours truly last Sat on CBC Radio’s Weekly comedy/quiz show! It features three different Canadian comics in each segment and the usually off-the-cuff answers they come up with are excellent, often outrageous, always funny as hell. The thing they came up with last week….and I knew right off the bat it wasn’t new….was referring to Donald Trump as ”Orange Man”!! Kinda like Superman, Batman or Spiderman, but not really. “Orange Man”! Not thusly named for the fruit, but for the colour….HIS colour! HE IS ORANGE!!(*see above). “Jeez Toad” I said (to myself) ”Holy s–t….and Rotzy thought it was a Florida tan!!?? And lookit the bluish/white patches around his eyes! Like a racoon in reverse!? Maybe an o’possum!? Yikes! How/why could a man who is SO vain and narcisstic become a 6’2”/240lb pumpkin?! You think he’s got a new make-up person? Perhaps Stevie Wonder”? Anyway, I know not how long Trumpy’s been ‘Orange Man’, but for sure, now he IS!! Too funny, Don….too “F/N” Funny.

*Thought Of The Day…Today’s 3 yr olds can switch on the laptops and open their favourite APPS. Me? When I was 3, I ate mud.

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