Oct 5 – “Nuts” all over the place

Rotzy’s back…to his best once again, lively, funny, but very pointed and poignant. He’s back in top form. So his column is a must read!

They’re All Over The Place….
….these days down here in the banana belt, especially all around the 555 Harris Place compound….’they’ being great numbers of grey (and black) squirrels….with one thing only on their mind (*see below), that being ”I gotta hide my nuts”! Not that it’s a ‘last-minute thing’ with them. Miz. Jo informed me many years ago that squirrels, as well as their stripe-ed chipmunk cousins, are ‘compulsive hoarders’. Of course the greys and blacks didn’t exist anywhere near Nakina, so they’re left with ‘reds’….aka ‘red rats’….and their ‘flying’ cousins, tho they ‘glide’ as opposed to actually ‘flying’….as well as the chipmunks. As to the hoarding, the squirrels are at it pretty much 24-7 while the ‘munks’ clock out all winter….at least they do in Nakina. Anyway, after being down in Brant’s Ford for two years now, I’m finally used to the difference in the size of the greys/blacks compared to the red rats….tho the hoarding routine is the same, the ‘southerners’ gonna find it easier finding and hiding their nuts with an abundance of oak and walnut trees all around here, hence red rats gotta be more ‘menu inventive’. But they all use basically the same method to bury their grub….dig, dig, dig….drop in hole….pat-pat-pat to cover hole….and move on. Now, how in hell they can remember where these hundreds of ‘food stashes’ are located is beyond me, but somebody who would know….a MNR staffer or Brian (not his real name) The C/Journal Bird Guy….was adamant they recover almost 100% of it! As to food being the only thing on their mind (*see above), and subsequently fighting over it, I realized pretty quickly that the kerfluffles I saw last Thurs and Fri weren’t about fighting! It was all about making little baby squirrels!!

Call It What You Will
    Because it’s already been called everything under the sun. And nobody but nobody had a decent word to say about it. It was stuff like ‘Debate Debacle’….’Train Wreck’….’A National Embarrassment’….’90 Minutes Of Bad Television’….’Dog’s Breakfast’….and much, MUCH worse!!  Coulda been ‘Produced by Barnum And Bailey’ With Assistance From Rod Serling. ”We are all born ignorant but one must work hard to remain stupid”.(Benjamin Franklin). Did Rotzy watch it? No. See/hear the replay highlights? Yup. Awful!!….it was like watching Dr. Phil in Double O.T.! Gonna watch #2? Is there gonna be one with Trump locked up? That would be boring with Joe there all by himself, would it not? Never mind. No. (*Well, since yours truly didn’t actually mention the “C-Word” in this item either, it does have indirect connotations. S–t.)

And North of The 49th….
    Some semblance of order remains in The House post The Throne Speech. Meaning no election….well, at least not for the tyme being. A lot of smoke/noise/threats/posturing….which methinks was followed by a 360-0 vote!! Isn’t that what I heard? Virtually (no pun intended) all of the upset, real or fake, was COVID-related….either directly or indirectly. So….SO….what happened to a ‘healthy increase’ to OAS….that pay raise olde Canadians have been hoping and praying for for TOO damned long….previously mentioned in this “F/N” space??!! And, previously talked about by Junior Trudeau. You know, the $ that keeps losing out to ‘prioritizing’ and such!? Rotzy calls it ‘backburnered’….but sadly, none of the burners are even turned on ‘Minimum’. C’mon Mr P/M….a 10-15% hike would help us seniors buy our masques, wipes, disinfectants, toilet paper and cetera. And perhaps some sort of substance to fill the ‘cracks we keep on slipping through’…..because, you see, a lot of us already have one foot in the grave and the other in a puddle of WD40. Look, J/T, you know there’s gonna be a vote eventually, and it would/might help you getting ‘the olde vote’. Maybe. Or not.

”Winner, Winner, Turkey Dinner”….
….to quote Guy ‘Triple D’ Fieri. A fine OLG (Ontario Lottery and Gaming) week here at #303-555 Park Road N!! Miz Jo grabbed a $30 win on her BINGO Scratch and Win tickets and yours truly nailed them for $79, $20, $10, $2 and two Free/Gratis tickets on Lotto 649 and Lotto Max Quick Picks. I could see my pal I call Doctor/Doc (not his real name(s) at Circle K with a big smile right through his surgeon-style mask, and especially in his eyes. (*a “F/N” reader pointed out this new-to-me ‘smiling eyes phenomenom’ a week back, tho the episode at Circle ‘K’ was the first tyme I’d been really sure the grin was real. Anyway, the $79 bucks was likely a ‘Rotzy best ever’ and I/we hope it was/is a harbinger of wealth to come for the forthcoming $65 Million draw. Not so sure HOW I’d cope with a win THAT size….I nearly arrested over the $79 win….which would surely qualify Miz. Jo as The Merry Widow!! Methinks I’d wave my ”Do Not Resuscitate” wish in such a scenario. You know, take one more kick at the can, just for the funn of it, eh!!

Brant’s Ford Stuff
    Last mid-week I pulled off the last of the stuff from our plot in the Commune Garden….the winter squash, which was a first-tyme-shot for us turned out GREAT!! We agreed it’s now our favourite…green and ivory coloured skin, with butter and brown sugar it tastes similar to the acorn….but better and sweeter!! On the downside, in a plot with very limited space, it takes up too much area. We’ll have a meeting to decide next year. I also dug ALL our carrots….Nantes Coreless, always!….and by the tyme we finish them off, we’ll have our best vision in years! Then yesterday (Sun the 3rd) I went to a Red Sox ballgame. No….not at Fenway Park, it was at Cockshutt Park….tho Rotzy still refers to it as Agricultural Park….here in Btfd. Anyway, Fenway is 108 years olde, and Agricultural is 100….and that, folks, is why the game took place….a ‘COVID regulated’, intrasquad game between Brantford Red Sox players from various Intercounty League Championship teams from the 2000’s….’olde-tymers’ (tho they ALL looked quite young to yours truly as MY own fan era went from 1949 to mid 1970’s….and the game marked 100 consecutive years that field had hosted a (good calibre) baseball team. I chatted with another olde guy who said they drew about 1000 fans to games (pre-COVID) and we both recalled 4-5000 regularly filing into the wooden grandstands in the 50’s. A good tromp down Memory Lane….to The Olde Ball Game!!

*Thought Of The Day…I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those little red knives.

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