Oct 10 – Miz Jo near death experience…but is totally back with us.

…Have Been close call when Ontario Govt declared Miz Jo  GONE, NO  MORE,  thank goodness it was A GREAT EXAGGERATION.

Have Been Greatly Exaggerated”…

A quote from Mark Twain in response to his biogr(in 1897). Well, the same line coulda been used by Miz. Jo last Thurs aft in a conversation with Baz (not his real name), our phavourite pharmacist. Actually, yours truly had called him earlier in the day about a prescription I needed, he said ”Jo Ann’s also due for a refill on one of her meds”. “Cool….I’ll pick ’em both up Fri ayem”. By the bye, Miz. Jo’s R/x is fairly new, for her B/P and had already been re-filled once. Then we get another call from him about 2:00PM….some ‘Ont Gov’t rules’ that all ‘dispensaries’ are subject to, saying that Miz. Jo’s R/x ‘CAN’T be filled’. C’mon man! WTF goes here?! Then he tells me why not….and it’s definitely a ‘Bad Day At Black Rock’ moment! Not good at all! According to current Ont Gov’t records Miz. Jo is DEAD! Gone. Kaput. Promoted to glory (*see below) on 2 SEPT 2022. S–t! That is the heck of me/us! There was no ‘obituary’ in the Expositor….no sympathy cards/letters/condolences….no bouquets of flowers….no ‘donations in memory of’….no wake….no luncheon, which translates to (‘worst of all’) NO ‘FUNERAL SANDWICHES’!….egg salad with Hellmans/lots of chives on brown bread….sockeye salmon with Miracle Whip/chopped onions on white, a couple Vlasic(*tm) Garlic Dills on the side and a few hunks of Thornloe*tm Med. Cheddar Cheese! Anyway, since the Govt insists Miz. Jo ‘caught the bus’ Sept 2nd, she somehow managed to accomplish the following….*got released from BGH on Sept 6; had a (family) doctor’s appt Sept 13th; had 2 or 3 ‘other’ R/x’s filled by Baz (not his real name), plus b/work at Life Labs, then she had two teeth extracted by her new/favourite dentist last week. I would hasten to mention the fact Miz. Jo has gained/re-gained 13-15 lbs since Sept 2nd, which MIGHT be some sort of Guinness World Record! For a cadaver. You think? Yet one thing which has been ‘totally overlooked’ since she ‘passed away’ is Jo Ann’s General Motors Life Insurance Policy….it’s a pretty good chunk of change and Rotzy’s kept it intact/paid up since May 2000. Maybe ‘the cheque’s in the mail’, eh? Well folks, by about 3:00PM the lady(s) at the Service Ont office over in Paris (we always go there) got the ‘head office muck-up’ (*I can say ‘muck-up’, right?) all sorted out for us…ALL 5 of them had really ‘gotten into’ our ‘plight’….I’m sure it was a ‘first’ for them to have a dead person standing at the counter, producing cards and documentation…..actually speaking to them!….and when we were told ‘it’s been resolved’, one of them just couldn’t wait any longer to ask Miz. Jo…. “SO…..what is Heaven REALLY like”?! To which she responded something about “a big round stone being rolled away from in front of the cave/tomb”. That definitely had them buzzing!! Too “F/N” funny! By the bye, yesterday aft (whilst the Blue Jays were embarrassing themselves vs Seattle in Game One of the ALCS Wild Card Series) Miz. Jo suddenly ‘solved’ the ‘Dead/Not Dead’ head office ‘muck-up’….(*see above)….and it all fits. On 2 Sept….the Govt’s official Date Of Death….she was transferred from the 5th Floor to the 7th Floor, but for some reason, BGH and/or the Gov’t had ‘shipped Miz. Jo to the Morgue’ instead! Anyway she was only there on the 7th Floor a few days, being released 6 Sept 2022. And no….they didn’t ship her home in a hearse! Rotzy picked her up in Edna The SUV at ‘D’ Wing! So here we are, it’s just about five weeks A.D. now….and Miz. Jo’s doin’ fine, thank you. (*see below)

It’s Tyme For ‘The Horn of Plenty (*see below)….

….and of course, Tyme To Give Thanks….I suppose for anything/everything that is ‘thanksworthy’….and Rotzy and Miz. Jo will join hands Sun. at dinnertyme for my/our own Grace….generally done here in Unit #303 at Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. And, yours truly being a ‘traditionalist’ (Miz. Jo would add ‘anal’ to that) it would mean Turkey, Turkey and Turkey for all three dinners, because I LIKE turkey, it’s cheap, supplies meat for 3 or 4 meals! And yes….I guess Rotzy IS a tad ‘anal’….altho a nice smoked Ham might land on the table for Easter! I’m ‘cool’ with that. Well, ‘tradition’ is going out the window in the Fall of 2022, and in the door comes ‘takeout’….or as the ‘mericans call it, ‘takeaway’….from Swiss Chalet! (*see? The American word even rhymes!) So….SO…. Miz. Jo saw/read the flyer for their ‘Festive Holiday Dinner’, ”with dressing, cranberry sauce….ALL the trimmings”….assuming the meat to be turkey. Assuming. Well, it isn’t…S/C ‘doesn’t DO Turkey.’ So, is that the end of the world? Methinks not! Hell….we both really enjoy S/C Chicken, and tell you what….I’m gonna heat a can of Turkey Gravy and ladle some all over my plateful. What a great idea Miz. Jo! Takeaway from Swiss Chalet!

The “F/N” D.O.T.W.

To be sure, there’s never a shortage of dinks around Brant’s Ford….tho you’ll not encounter any at a BGG Meeting….but THIS ‘Dink Of The Week’ didn’t even break a sweat enroute to capturing his crown! To ‘set the scene’, the “F/N” readership might recall Rotzy’s love of cell fones. NOT!!! They’re fine for those who know how to use them well/properly and have some ‘RESPECT’ for others, to quote Aretha. OK. Zehr’s Market was super busy Fri! ALL 8 cashiers lights on, 5 or 6 customers jammed in each line with their carts and baskets….then ‘Cell Fone Man’ rolls his cart in, one row over from Rotzy at the rear of our lines….and Mighty Mouth’s already on a roll, on his fone. He is VERY loud, VERY annoying and he does NOT see, hear nor care about ANYBODY else within 25 ft. And beyond. People start changing lanes to getaway from the non-stop yattering and after five minutes Rotzy slid two more lines over….this went on for 15 minutes, whilst unloading his cart, bagging his groceries, even when he was paying. BUT, as far shutting this —hole up, he’s young (30-35) well over 200 lbs and has big arms….probably NOT one Rotzy should walk up to and tell him…”Hey Stupid….lose your fone will ya”!!! or ”Yo! Shut it down, Jerk”!! or “Congrats Numbnutz….You’re The Dink Of The Week”!!! (Rotzy’s Rant of the week)

Last Thursday At 4:03PM EDST….

….former Blue Jays star Edwin Encarnacion threw the ‘Ceremonial Pitch’ to open the Jays/Seattle ALCS ….a 70 MPH Change-up/perfect STRIKE!! Then as he jogged back to the bench, up came his famous/trademark ‘Wing’ (his right arm), to the DEE-light of the 48,000 fans! Well….THAT was IT for the Jays ‘Hi-Light Reel’…Game One….AWFUL! Game Two….WORSE…because they ‘had it and lost it’! *Thought Of The Day…Can’t ‘get up’ to vote? You may have ‘Electile Dysfunction’.

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