July 6 – Some like it hot!

The heat is becoming relentless, not letting up for a day. Rotzy found a solution while watering the back “40” which is less in southern ONT than in Nakina North.

 

Readers Write….
….and this one had a number of thoughts….not necessarily COVID related (if you read them from that perspective) which is exactly what I was hoping for. Check ’em out! *If you’re paying $3.00 a bottle for SmartWater(*tm), it isn’t working! *Not to get technical….but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution. *Dear Alcohol, we had a deal that you would make me better looking, funnier, and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk. Does anyone know which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine? (asking for a friend)

Potpourri….And Other Stuff
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it….’it’ being yet another foil-wrapped Kit Kat flavoured chocolate Easter Egg I hid the night before Easter Sunday. It just turned up last week in a water glass up in the cupboard. Imagine. However, the hunt was so LONG ago I can’t remember how many I DID find, altho the number 30 comes to mind, which brings the total to 31, an ‘odd’ number to be sure. So, 31 it is and I quickly made it disappear.

OK, OK, OK….is it just yours truly, or does any of the “F/N” readership wonder if our Prime Minister has entered a ‘John A. MacDonald Lookalike Contest’? His dark locks just keep on getting longer and the resemblance to Canada’s first P/M is quite uncanny, the only thing giving him away is the ‘salt and pepper’ moustache/goatee. Or is it just that he still hasn’t had the tyme (or inclination) to get an appointment with his barber. Anyhow, I’m wondering if Junior hasn’t been watching the CBC News lately to see what some people have been up to with Sir John A’s statue(s)!!?? That could prompt a prompt visit to the barbershop, which methinks is in the same building as The House of Commons. Or a call to First Choice Hair Cutters would work. Forget the contest J/T!

Last Week’s Column….
….contained an item on ‘Systemic Racism’, which is ‘gaining momentum’ not quite on a par with COVID but not really that far off. Also, on a worldwide stage. Today’s is not a follow-up on that, just a couple things that Rotzy came aware of: the first was a news item from 92.9 FM that I simply had to laugh at, because, tho it ‘could’ be referred to as a ‘hate crime’, the bottom line was of one young man’s absolute stupidity….the second was based on the ‘American institution’ known as The Harlem Globetrotters. So….SO….#1 happened in Somewhere, Ohio, where a man and wife ordered a large pizza (pepperoni and cheese) from the local Pizza Hut. They opened it when they got home to find the pepperoni slices arranged in the shape of a ‘swastika’!….albeit a ‘backward swastika’! The couple immediately reported it, and Pizza Hut immediately fired the young man who had done it. (*I’m guessing the Neo-Nazi group he hoped to join also showed him the door, seeing as he doesn’t know a proper swastika.) *As to the Harlem Globetrotters, when I say ‘an American Institution’, that’s exactly what they are, and they have been doing their thing for 70 + years for both young and old all over the world…yours truly has seen them ‘live’ 2 or 3 tymes. Since forever they have had a player who is THE star of the show, the guy in the spotlight….always one of the better players, and referred to as ‘the Clown Prince of Basketball’, and THAT was/is the way he’s always projected/presented! Guys with names like ‘Goose’ Tatum, Fred ‘Curley’ Neal, Hubert ‘Geese’ Ausbie, and MY favourite, ‘Meadowlark’ Lemon. I recall ‘Meadowlark’ being interviewed by Howard Cosell, covering a wide range of the life of a Globetrotter….the travelling, the ‘full house’ audiences night after night, performing for Royalty, living up to their billing and expectations, and cetera. Finally, Cosell got around to the Globetrotter brand of humour and he asked Lemon ”don’t you think it’s kinda ”Uncle Tom-ish”?? Not very ‘flattering’ indeed. Now, this was in the day of ‘live TV’ and I’m sure Meadowlark took five minutes to respond to Howard….because he couldn’t stop laughing!….to finally reply ”no….not in the least”. Or something close to that. Cosell got the message, then tried as best as he could to wipe the egg off his face. (*see below)

Q.O.T.W.
As in ‘Quote Of The Week’…..which may/may not have anything/everything to do with the Globetrotters’ item. (*see above) It goes like this….”How in the (insert your OWN word here) did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so easily offended”???!!!

Canada Day….
….has come and gone, and we hope you made the most of yours….whether it was celebrated VIRTUALLY or the real thing….in spite of the fact that it was a ‘scorcher’ pretty much everywhere east of The Rockies! Still is for that matter, with Heat Warnings posted all over ONT on a daily basis. Even in Nakina, where their Highs are right up there with Brantford and the rest of what I used to refer to as The Banana Belt. Apparently, the 30C+ temps have cut into the black fly population but the mosquitoes are doing fine, thank you! Miz. Jo and Rotzy were talking about it, and altho we both still miss Nakina terribly, the same can’t be said for the critters. Putting it straight as I can, we simply are ‘basically bug-free’! Really!!! With the exception of the odd ‘dumb fly’ now and then….and that’s just fine for my new afternoon enjoyment….’Rotzy’s Hoser Tyme’ (*see below). Firstly, I empty the pockets (wallet, dog treats, keys and change) in my Dickie’s (*tm) shorts, don my sleeveless Coca Cola (*tm) ‘muscle shirt’, which shows little muscle, but hides my belly (and herniated belly button), grab a beach towel and a couple of tall boys and head to the veg garden. Top up the watering can and give our plot a good soaking, which gets a good sweat going. THEN it’s Hoser Tyme!! (*see above) Skyline Living just bought a new 1 1/2 inch hose and nozzle, for the west side of #575, right beside Park Road North and ‘it moves a LOT of water’! Then the 75-yr olde Rotzy turns into a 5-yr old…..turning it on full blast, pointing it straight up, so it’s like standing in a downpour….getting soaked whilst singing a few lines from ‘Singing In The Rain’. Friday my buddy rolled up in his wheelchair and we had more funn than a barrel of monkeys….both of us drenched! With a High of 32C (F/L 27C) today, we’ll be back down front again/still…. acting like five-year old’s! You ought to give it a try!

*Thought Of The Day…No matter how stupid you feel, remember Little Red Riding Hood couldn’t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn’t her grandmother.

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