June 28 – censored “rant-age”

There are days when one should not get out of bed…Rotzy’s having one of those days…it’s a mix of good and bad.

What A Week, Huh?!
    *This week’s “F/N” column is gonna need way more (*R*-Restricted) notices for the ‘Highs and Lows’ (as Rotzy sees ’em) than I allowed myself last week….because there was a LOT of bad s–t went down. Nonetheless, and having said that, we’re gonna try to ‘ack-SENT-you-ate’ the positive here and there in order to avoid a total cess pool (*see below), OK? Good. Firstly….it’s ”VIVRE LES CANADIENS”! as Montreal heads into the Stanley Cup FinalsII Tres Bien!! The first Canadian-based squad to do so in decades….and the last tyme a Canadian team hoisted Lord Stanley was 1993!! Les Habitants de Montreal!! Je ne sais pas comment je dit ‘bandwagonner’ en francais….but get on board. I gotta admit Rotzy has disliked the Canadiens, as record would have it, since I was 8, starting in my 1953 scrapbook showing a picture of Gordie Howe (my hero) along with Lindsay and Delvechio on page one….page two was a couple Bruins guys…..page three was Beliveau and Maurice Richard, and I guess I was pissed at The Rocket as I’d taken an orange crayon to the picture congratulating his hat trick. Add Butch Bouchard, Doug Harvey Dickie Moore and all the rest to my ‘hate list’….Plante the goal tender was such a coward he’d taken to wearing a mask!….the lone exception being Marcel Bonin, who wrestled bears!….or A bear….which I thought to be pretty cool!! But Hey! that was almost 70 years ago….forgive and forget, that’s no sweat, right? ”To you with failing hands we throw, the torch, be yours to hold it high!”….not only a famous line from McCrae’s Flanders Fields, the words have adorned the Canadiens dressing room walls since the old Montreal Forum was new. So leave your Leafs sweater in the closet, the (too small fitting) Red Wings jacket in the trunk, get on Les Canadiens Bandwagon along with this olde guy, and let’s bring La Coupe Stanley back to Canada, where it belongs! By the bye, I’m seeing more and more vehicles here at Skyline and around Brant’s Ford sporting Canadiens phlags. So….SO….GO HABS GO!!

Phlags Galore!!
    Down in the Mohawk Plaza….next to PJCVS, my olde alma mater….where Steinbergs (then Calbecks) used to be….is a large ‘junk store’, perhaps Brant Surplus….and they’ve set up a HUGE display of phlags on the parking lot’s north/east corner in front of where The Shake ‘N Burger (chips and gravy and a choc shake – .50 cents) was located. They have phlags for EVERYBODY from Les Canadiens, the Leafs, the Jays, the Packers, the Giants, the TiCats, the Raptors, Canada, the Provinces and the US of A. I’m sure it has all the countries involved in the World Football Cup (or whatever it’s called)….from all corners of the earth….’virtually’ all of whom refer to ‘soccer’ as ‘football’, hence it’s not simply ‘an English thing’. Well….I expect the United States (especially Texas) and including most of Canada) is the only place on Earth where the ‘football’ is not round and the players wear helmets with masks, shoulder pads and knee-length pants with thigh and knee pads….tho the last two items are not mandatory any more….and football and soccer have VERY few similarities. But yes, the USA AND Canada are both competing for the ‘Soccer Crown’! I think we were placed 70th last mid-week and I know not about Uncle Sam? Also, I’m betting that some of the ‘lesser’ countries still in the mix are smaller than Texas….or Ontario….and that is how/why I come back to phlags. I’m playing a little game….by myself….apparently so is Twennie (not his real name) our “F/N” #2 proof-reader) to ‘name the country’ that guy/woman is proudly phlying phrom his/her little Phiat…..the normal ‘banners’ from North America/Europe/Scandinavia are pretty easy….altho, as I doubted The Red Cross had a team in the tourney, I had to check up on Norway the other day. And what does the Peruvian phlag look like? Cameroon? How about Guatamala? And all those former parts of Russia….the ‘stans’ I would call them. Methinks perhaps I’ll stop by the Surplus and get a list of the names…..without being shown the accompanying phlag….and get on with my ‘game’.

Rotzy’s ‘Dilemma’
    They arrived via courier last Wed ayem…..’they’ being our new cell phones….two of them….one for Miz. Jo and one for yours truly. But here’s the thing….Rotzy doesn’t want a cell fone, ”I don’t NEED one” I pleaded with Miz. Jo and our son Paul (not his real name) a few days prior, but it fell on deaf ears….because there was a ‘special deal on’. Lovely So….SO….the damn things showed up here in TWO FREAKING DAYS!! Alas…..our son had left orders to ”leave them alone until….”, and I have no problem with that request/order at all. Forever. ”Why”? you ask….”hell,. everybody has a cell fone”. Wrongo. Rotzy doesn’t have one, need one,. or want one! The ‘olde dog/new tricks syndrome’? Yes. indeed. And the capabilities of those things scares the s–t outta this olde dawg! Well, ONE DAY after their arrival there was ‘some serious tampering done to/with them’ whilst yours truly was out on my ‘buckboard run’….by Miz. Jo and a neighbour from our floor, who ‘has the same kind of fone’ and whom I expect was/is ‘in cahoots’ with Miz. Jo….right up to their elbows. When I walked in about 12:20 the ‘accomplice’ had skeedaddled and Jo Ann happily told me ”we both have our fone numbers”. ”Swell” I replied. Or something like that. And then in the aft some wise-ass from downstairs told me I was ”gonna eat crow/eat my words, and generally feel like a total dink for being SO negative, that in NO tyme at all I would come to ’embrace my new miracle apparatus/appliance’ like there’s no tomorrow.” This admonishment didn’t sit well with Rotzy. At all. So….SO…after a split-second check for distance, I gave him a ‘cough’….seeing there was enough space, it was indeed a ‘far cough’.  But this jerk didn’t want to let it alone, hence it took me a couple VERY emphatic ‘far coughs’ for him to realize he’d best shut his pie hole. Anyway, all that phunn stuff aside, Miz.Jo told me/confirmed yesterday (Sat) that our son was/is gonna ‘give us a lesson’ on how too run these things’….that he can’t do it from home virtually, via his own cell fone….so he’s coming to The Telephone City to do it in person. By the bye, I’ve seen him operate HIS fone on occasion, and it scares the s–t outta me. Plus, I/we found out his wife’s fone also performs amazing things. Anyway, apparently the ‘teacher’ is coming THIS weekend. Definitely a ‘stay tuned’ on ‘this (potentially) life changing event/experience’!

Hang Onto Your “F/N” Hat….
….or avoid this item completely if you ‘druther….’cause Rotzy’s got an ugly on!! Here’s one big ( *R*) to cover my entire rant, OK? It’s THAT tyme again….ALREADY?!….tyme for the rat to come out of his hole…..for the slime to rise to the top of the ‘cess pool’ (*see above) and to remind one and all….especially the parents of Leslie Mahaffey and Karen French that Paul Bernado is still alive and well….fully convinced that he’s paid his debt to society, he’s fully ‘re-habilitated’ and quite fit to be among us on the outside. Yep! He’s up for parole….again!….and every two years now the victims families must re-live those unthinkable horrors that took place 29 years ago! Parole??  Shame on Canada’s justice system. Enough!! Firstly, Bernardo should’ve got ‘Death’, however a bunch of liberal-thinking Canadians removed that years ago. Black Eye #1 for Justice. So….Bernado’s woman/bitch sang her heart out to the court, spilled the beans all over her ‘lover/accomplice’ and ‘she walks’….gets herself a slap on the wrist, but more importantly, a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card, a new name/residence/who-knows-what-else, finds a new man, pops a couple kids, and, life is pretty damned good! For her. S–t! That was the second black eye for Justice Canada….I read the book and she ‘was in it’ up to her neck, worse than Bernado if you ask me….I mean she scared the supreme s–t outta me….went so far as to include/donate her own sister to be among their victims….and she lives among us for God sakes! And breeds!! But don’t y’all go worryin’ none because Ms. Homolka….now a ‘Jane Doe’….has surely ‘found God’, been fully re-habilitated, and would make a fine next door neighbour. Well **** it! The pair shoulda been ‘snuffed’….the ‘slang term’ used to describe those terrible deaths….whilst videoing them!! Black Eye #3 Goes to Corrections Canada….the one and only reason that Paul Bernardo is still alive and breathing is that he’s been in ‘P/C’ since Day One of his incarceration….PROTECTIVE CUSTODY…..which is costly for the system, in prisoner Bernardo’s case for 29 years, non-stop. It says here that if Bernardo were put in ‘G/P’….GENERAL POPULATION….he wouldn’t last 24 hours, and death would not be nice. Traditionally/historically the inmates in G/P have no ***ing use for prisoners in for ‘diddling’ little children and/or molesting kids….it would also include a couple young teenage girls and their awful fates….justice, prison-style would be served. Well, that’s my rant of the week. NO, I don’t feel better. Not a bit. But I would hope that ‘Bernado’ and ‘Parole’ are never mentioned in the same breath again….unless it’s posthumously.

*Thought Of The Day…Pins and needles, needles and pins, it’s a happy man that grins. (Ralph Kramden….The Honeymooners)

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