May 31 – Rotzy took a Victoria break!

Rotzy needed a break Victoria Day weekend but he’s back with a blast and a whiz this week. Read all about ‘famous Amos’ of the Cdn House of Commons. Anyone remember Anthony Weiner of American politics…well, Canada’s got its own now !

Last Week….
under the title “Green As Grass”, yours truly took a pretty hefty divot outta Skyline Living….our kindly keepers/landlords here at the 535/555/575 compound….in regards to the dreadful appearance of the property, particularly the lawns, which, the day after last mowing, looked far worse than before. Because the blades were DULL! And DULL blades don’t cut it….’it’ being the dandelions….they’ll cut grass, but just ‘bend’ the dandees over, and next day, dont-cha know, they’re ‘standing at attention’. Whenever I encountered that situation whilst mowing our Nakina property with Miz. Jo’s 1988 John Deere #175 T, I’d drive J/D the quarter mile into town….directly to Nakina Service Centre….and after his (standard procedure) cursing me out because ”(I’m) too busy”, Tap would put an edge on ’em and I was back cutting at 153 Hwy #584. Anyway, far be it from Rotzy to curse out Skyline, I politely ‘pointed it out’ in an email….unlike the resident who ‘coughed’ toward me from afar last week after seeing all the ‘re-born’ dandelions, and believe me buster, it was a ‘far cough’. Well folks, I’m pretty sure the same lawn crew showed up this week….actually SIX days from the last cut, and lo, somebody musta found a sharpening file in the tool box, resulting in a MUCH better job! Now just hold off on the high-fives, cartwheels and cetera! They haven’t got this place looking like one could mistake it for St Georges, St Andrews or even St Elmos as of yet(!) and soon as it warms up again, after that 24 hours of rain, it’s gonna grow like crazy! Hence, how about we do a ‘stay tuned’ until their next visit?

Learning Curve (*see below)
The lady at the Service Ontario branch over in Paris who handed me my new (temporary) ‘Wheelchair’ dashboard parking permit a week ago didn’t tell me it’s gonna take some ‘getting used to’ for the first while. For example, remembering that I now actually HAVE one, and yes, I CAN park Norm The Truck in those previously verboten spots. And how each store, office, clinic and cetera differs from the others….as to approaching it/them; is it a single or multiple space?; ease of entering/exiting; and if it’s occupied; where are you gonna park? Hey, it’s all new to Rotzy….’tis obvious that I’ve never paid any attention to these areas in the past, as well as obviously never having parked in them. I’ve got the routine at Zehr’s Market down pat and it works well; it’s also easy at The In And Out Store as there aren’t any. I had some fun out at Woolco….OOOOOPS!….I meant to say WalMart…..last Thursday as an untrained/first-timer/rookie. I managed to drive by my favourite spot for the past three years….the ‘cart collector tent’ at the N/E end of the lot….pointed Norm toward the main entrance, and in a flash there they were!! As we approached I said (to myself) “Holy s–t Toad….we’ve struck gold! Wally-World is the Motherlode of handicapped parking….it looks like 4 or 5 double spots facing each other!….that’s 8 or 10 vehicles! Methinks the first 4 are taken, but that’s no problemo, I’ll just zip right into the next one!” And ‘zip’ I did! Grabbed my wallet, put my masque on, windows up, pocket my keys and fob, then set my permit on Norm’s dashboard(!) in front of me….immediately I spotted the sign for these places right front of me….”Pregnant Women and/or Mothers With Small Children Only”. (”Way to go, Toad….your belly might make you look 8 months preggers, but I doubt you can pull this off! S–t.”(*see above) So I drove back to my olde parking spot. ‘Learning curve’ (*see above) indeed.

You Gotta Wonder….
what’s next for that guy. The ‘normal progression’ could/would/should be getting fired from his job, you’d think. I mean, once burned, twice wise, right? Or something like that.(*see below) But ‘that guy’ isn’t ‘normal’, nor does he work at a ‘normal’ job, like a 9-5 type thing….he works for the government. Actually, he IS the government….well, at least part of it. The federal government. You see, he’s an MP. His name is Will Amos….but these days he’s become ‘Famous Amos’, the pride and joy of the riding for Chelsea, PQ. Since circa 2014. Or something like that. You STILL don’t recognize him? I mean by NAME! Or perhaps you saw him when newscasts broke the story of Amos in the buff whilst getting dressed back about a month ago….via ‘Zoom’ camera….like many members of The House did in a ‘Virtual House of Commons Session’ Guess you heard last Thursday Will was at it again…..via ‘Zoom’ again/still….whilst ‘relieving himself’ as the news report said!!….”relieving”??!! Whoa Amos!! Well, it turns out to mean ‘urinating’….so, that puts a less shocking light on things, right? I mean, dogs piss all over the place, anywhere, anytyme they want. Y’oughta see them here at 555 Harris Place…..a hundred dogs or more….pissing 24/7….and no body gives a s–t….altho the #555 canines are also encouraged to poop outside here too….usually after they’ve peed. But c’mon, man!! ONE Member Of Parliament decides to do a little ‘home movie-style’ ZOOM-flic for another Virtual House Sitting and bingo….now he’s Famous Amos! The Voyeur? Certainly not The Voyageur! Hell, his picture may be going up on the Post Office Wall if the PC’s and NDP’s keep ranting on how Amos has ‘shamed The House’. I’m sure it’s probably tough on Will’s wife and kid(s) too, you think? One odd thing as I was checking out this report….I didn’t read/find/hear the Prime Minister’s reaction on all the hubbub but I’d bet he’s NOT personally gonna be dishing out 25 lashes with the cat ‘o 9 tails….but if that would get some COVID heat off Justin….well, ya never know!? Yes…..Amos should have been fired (*see above)….if he hasn’t, he still should be. And it says here that Will Amos badly needs some ‘help’. Trudeau can apologize for the entire mess….hey, J/T is the best apologizer in politics!!

Gardening magic And Stuff
On our deck/porch/verandah/balcony here at unit #303 we grow basil, rosemary, dillie, strawberries, some pansies, marywanna and two varieties of tomatoes. OK, OK, OK….I lied about the weed….however, when the temperature plummetted last Friday, two previously healthy-looking tomato plants had been hit by Jack Frost, and hit hard, even tho I saw no other signs of frost damage elsewhere around here. Miz. Jo and I agreed that’s what it was….the ‘slicing’ tomatoes were bad and the Tiny Tim style (that was/is full of baby tomatoes with even more blooms) were surely dead. So….SO…R/N Jo Ann brought them all in, our bathroom became an Infirmary, the walk-in shower was the ICU for the worst plants. (this is where it gets interesting/good) The Nurse had two mason jars of her plant formula/potion ‘brewing’ and administered a couple ‘healthy’ dosages….and as at Sunday 11:00 AM EDST….it looks to Rotzy like two full recoveries….great news, especially for the Tims  because of all the fruit already showing! By the bye…as to Miz. Jo’s ‘secret potion’? Next tyme you have an El Chaquita or a Dole banana, don’t throw the peel away….drop it in a 1 qt Mason jar, fill with tap water, let it sit for several days, then use it on any/all of your plants! The ‘secret ingredient’ is the potassium! I’ll betcha it even works on weed(s)!! Lemme know.

*Thought Of The Day… ‘Optimism’:……is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat….and taking the tartar sauce with you.

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