Oct 18 – Rotzy is beginning to sound like a HORNy old toad !

As his hearing is still pretty good, Rotzy’s good at identifying all the “HORNy” people.


Long Tyme Coming….
….and I’m talking about my foot care appointment with Chris (not his real name) at what is called ‘Feet First’, located in what was McCutcheon Bakery, across the street from what was Colborne United Church, where Rotzy was confirmed about 62 years ago. Anyway, my foot care is part of my overall diabetic care plan….and….when COVID doesn’t interfere, I go there quarterly for a very thorough check-up, including ‘loss of feeling’ (which I don’t have much left), removal of dead skin and/or anything that shouldn’t be there, and a pulse. Yes….a pulse! in your feet! and I DO have one!….I’ve even heard it via an electronic stethoscope thingamabob!! But the best part….aside from having a pulse, of course….is getting my toe nails cut! I’ve been using this service for 20 years now (here and up north) and even with my limited feeling, it’s like walking on a cloud when they’re done and yours truly has been known to give it my best Rudolph Nureyev impression when departing the clinic. I’m not actually sure just WHAT the little lady at the reception desk was thinking as Rotzy went flitting by her on my tippy-toes last Wednesday ayem. ‘You see, that facility is used for any number of ‘health issues,’ including ‘mental health’….so you can take it from there. Actually, I asked my foot guy about the ‘new’ sign I spotted on my way in at the entrance….”No Guns, Knives Or Weapons Allowed On The Premises”….and it surely ‘caught my eye’!! It was ‘new to him’ also so I told him I grew up (to age 15) in a house just one block away from there, where people left the milk bottles and money outside their door for the milkman, and I’m pretty sure nobody ever locked their door. So, I did a drive-through….and in truth, the olde neighbourhood still looks pretty good, and I didn’t spot anybody brandishing any sort of weaponry. Hopefully, I’ll be back for a toenail tuneup in January.

Readers Write
    The following came in from a guy called Eric (that’s not his real name, but I almost always call him that by mistake) and methinks it’s some pretty funny stuff. Check ’em out: *Laughter is the best medicine. Or wine. It might be wine. **It’s a good day. The dashboard ‘Check Engine’ light finally burned out in my car. ***Two to three glasses of wine per day reduces your risk of giving a s–t. ****Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are. *****No, I can’t do Snap Chat or Tik Toc or Zoom, but I CAN write in cursive, do math without a calculator and tell tyme on a clock with hands. Imagine. (Thanks Eric, and keep ’em coming folks.)

Road Rage….Bad Week
    The olde guy had a couple of beauties last week….BOTH of which I was on the receiving end of some yappy, horn-happy SOB that I’d really like to have another crack at. Honker #1 was at Zehr’s parking lot Tuesday or Wednesday just before noon. I was slowly inching my way forward, at least halfway out of my spot in the lineup. I spotted a light blue Honda (or Hyundai, I can’t tell them apart) coming from my right side, not fast, but clearly NOT slowing down, and NOT one of the 4 out of 5 drivers who woulda let the black Nissan Frontier pick-up out of its’ spot. I stopped and for some reason she got on her horn, making hand gestures at me whilst hanging off the end of her ‘Benson and Hedges 100’, I’m thinking. “Hey lady, I’m stopped, OK? and I really don’t need a lecture from you, OK? And, thanks”!! If she had any thoughts of continuing a back and forth, they ended with a barrage of ‘coughs’ from Rotzy. Yes indeed, there was enough room between us they were ‘far’ ‘coughs’. Damn….I hate horns! Did I ever mention that before? No matter….the second one….yesterday (Friday)….took place as I was enroute to the weekly Friday afternoon Brantford Guy Group meeting at 3:00 PM (*see below). I had missed last week, hence I made sure I was in plenty of tyme and I’m going south on the WGP, stopping for a red light at the #403 overpass. Well, the ****ing jerk behind me was in one LARGE hurry to take the on-ramp for the #403 to London, was RIGHT BESIDE ME as he kicked up his KIA into passing mode, and then laid on his horn. (*KIA’s have very loud/rude horns) Don’t know if he flipped me the bird or not due to the dark tinted window….it didn’t matter/I didn’t care….or retaliate. Rotzy just sat there like a dink….not even mad/pissed off, yet so scared/shook I was wondering if I’d had another ****ing heart attack, then realized ”Green light Toad, better get moving lest somebody else honks at me”. I made it down to the Gunners Club and just sat back in Norm for 10 or 15 minutes, finally realizing the bus hadn’t come for me. Wish people would stop with the horns at me because I KNOW one of these tymes Rotzy’s ‘really gonna lose it’….’ pull a Kevin Harvick’ or a ‘Joey Logano NASCAR-style takeout’!!

BGG Meeting’s And Stuff
    The Brantford Guy Group is still in its infancy….unlike the Lions, Knights of Columbus or Kiwanis, the BGG was just formed a couple of months ago, tho they have made use of the K of C’s outdoor patio for a couple of meetings. So here’s Rotzy downstairs in the Gunner’s Club….still at 115 Henry St….I’ve shown my wallet-size COVID Vaccine Passport to the Barkeep (I can’t even read the small print but he managed) and signed the register, like we used to have to do in the Nakina Branch #116, and took a Bud Light to a table that could seat lots of BGG’s….AND….near the bar! Methinks it was 3:15 when the first couple of members sauntered in, (apparently, we’re up to 23 or 24) two guys I coached in football in the ’60s, not at all concerned about their tardiness. Then (I think) next was the sec/treas/sgt-at-arms, then 3 or 4 more in rapid succession. I’d forgotten I’d been made President For Life, but no one bowed or offered congrats! then I recalled SEVEN of us were ‘inaugurated’ altogether, then there was some chatter about ‘new Presidents For Life buying rounds’. Hence, the bulls–tting had begun….aimed more at some members than others. In truth, as the ‘oldest of the oldsters’ Rotzy doesn’t get targeted that badly, but I gotta say that ”If bulls–t was brass, our BGG group would be John Philip Sousa’s Band”!! Anyway, when you stop and think for a minute, it IS quite amazing that twenty-some olde guys get back together with friends they played sports with/against, went to school with, and cetera. Also, we have our own motto written in Latin, meaning ”Meeting Friends Now, Not at Funerals”.  By the bye, the Brantford Guy Group has established ties with MENSA, DENSA as well as RENSA, yet the ONLY definite requirement, if you were interested in joining the club, is that you MUST have an IQ! High, low, or in between….but you MUST have one!

*Thought  Of The Day…There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity; intelligence has its’ limits. (Albert Einstein)

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