Rotzy’s working hard at finding the humour in this whole pandemic thing. He admits it’s his only failure of 2021.
This compilation is what you might call ‘la creme de la creme’ of what has landed on Rotzy’s desk here at “F/N”HQ over the last couple weeks, OK? Check ’em out: * To err is human: To blame it on others shows definite management potential. * The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake. *Insanity doesn’t run in my family. It strolls through taking its’ time getting to know everyone personally. * I have put a lot of thought into it and I just don’t think being an adult is gonna work for me. *Exercise makes you look better naked. So does wine. Your choice. *You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. * ‘Lazy’ is such an ugly word….don’t you think? Me? I prefer the term ‘selective participation’.
These Are Not Good Tymes….
….when it comes to COVID….to be a leading politician of any sort….’elected’ (just ask Justin Trudeau) or ‘self-appointed’ (just ask Vladimir Putin). And to that list one could add the ‘bad hair guy’ from Gr. Britain; the phatt guy from North Korea (who also has ‘bad hair’); the leaders from Communist China as well as India; the P/M from Australia; whoever it was that replaced Angela Merkle in Germany and pretty well all European countries….and….and….and….well you get my drift, right? For us Canadians, we can (and do) break it down further, to the provinces/territories. Yet there is ONE thing they ALL have in common….when COVID landed it was NEW to all of them (*see below)….and us. THEY knew NOTHING about it…..neither did WE. Some of THEM have caught on…..ditto for US. But those DUNCE Hats over in the corner (like the ones used for “F/N” Dink Of The Week (DOTW) nominees) are in high demand…even for non-DOTW’s. And at any given tyme you could/can spot a couple presidents, a dicktator or two, a few prime ministers and a handful of oriental fellows….ALL of them trying on the D-Hats. Well, it’s not ALWAYS simply because ‘it’s NEW to them’ (*see above) …..they’ve been making ‘poor decisions’ and they still are! Making poor decisions. Justin Trudeau and Doug Ford have had the Hats on for several weeks now as they have lost control of things/people they SHOULD be able to manage. F’rinstance, J/T should have had #3 Boosters in ALL Canadian arms several months ago. Not even close! And Doug Ford? A year ago everybody and their brother/sister….including “From Nakina”…. had him as the Pandemium-Controlling Poster Boy, the ‘model’ as to how the rest of the Premiers would be rated. Well, pandemium begat pandemonium, hence things are SO bad for Dougie these days, he and his family were kept from entering THEIR OWN HOME last week by the anti-vaccine ‘protestors’…..sorry, and I care not what ‘political stripe’ you wear, but THAT is NOT a ****ing protest! It gets worse…..Dougie’s Daughter Dearest decides to ‘side in’ with the anti-vaccers and of course uses Daddy Dearest’s ‘political clout/position’….or what he has left of it…..as she puts him on the spit and cranks the stove up to 500F! Stick a fork in him darlin’, methinks he’s done. ‘Blood’s thicker than water’? Not in Doug Ford’s house.
2021…..The Year In Review
“Whoa there Toad”, I said (to myself) as I was having my first puff of the day down front in The SUV Called Edna along with my mug of President’s Choice*tm Dark Roast last Sunday about 5:15 ayem. My favourite radio show’s on, The Documentary Hour….via CBC Radio, from RTE Ireland, whose language, after three years I have mastered completely….had just finished and the female radio host was interviewing the male host of the CBC TV show Canadian Family Feud. I didn’t know the guy-host from Adam, but then I didn’t/don’t know the host of (The American) Family Feud either. Nor do I care….actually, I rank it alongside Bob Barker’s Come On Down never ending show, and tied for ‘worst’ with Monte Hall….was it Lets Make A Deal?….for Box #1, #2 or #3? Hey, game shows aren’t Rotzy’s cup of tea….’cept for The Wheel and Jeopardy….and Miz. Jo and I go ‘tag-team’ vs the in-studio players on TV almost nightly….plus, I was kinda sweet on Vanna 50 or 60 years ago. Anyway, the interview with the Canadian ‘Feudster’ got around to COVID….the hostess asking how he and his wife and kids coped with the pandemium in 2021, with day to day life. So….SO….he used to do stand-up comedy in his past and he and his Missus had always looked on laughter as a great distraction to your problems….often a remedy. Ditto for their two sons. He didn’t at all suggest that they find humour in COVID….or anything remotely associated with it….just get yourself something funny, have a belly laugh/cut loose….and if it’s THAT good, hang onto it. He made it sound like this was a family who enjoy life to the fullest….if not ALL the tyme….then certainly MOST of it. I’m thinking that’s some pretty sage advice. (did I just say ‘sage’?) Hey, yours truly isn’t an authority….by any stretch of the imagination….altho I HAVE written a number of items that ‘suggest’, and let’s face it, others that come right out and SAY IT….”the world has forgotten how to laugh….AT OURSELVES!! And how! That ‘former pastyme’ is fairly long gone….almost buried alongside ‘common sense’ whose obit I recently (again) received and re-read from a long-tyme reader. Actually, where COVID-19….and the ‘corona virus’ as it was called at one tyme….might touch on some ‘humour’, if you’ll allow me….I distinctly remember watching Dr Theresa Tam (Canada’s # 1 Doctor) on Network TV told us ”(we) don’t need the wear a mask as it doesn’t really do any good….tho it won’t harm you or others”. Or something VERY close to that. Because ‘she didn’t know’ and it was ‘brand new to her’ also. That might bring a chuckle if not for the fact that some folks are still sticking to those instructions. OR….try looking into your bathroom mirror….close up….then ask it that ”mirror, mirror on the wall” line. You’ll laugh….oh ya….LOL !!
You Might Have Noticed….
that Rotzy said almost diddly-squat about ”2021….The Year In Review” (*see above). Tell you the truth, I dunno why even said/typed it in??!! Yours truly is about as likely to come up with something/anything good to say about 2021 as I am to write a list of ‘Rotzy’s 2022 New Year Resolutions’. Sorry. Nope. Not gonna happen. Can’t do this. Never have done it. S–t! OK, OK, OK, OK….I lied, but it was so long ago I don’t even remem…. ….Hold on one second….you want good news from 2021 do ya?! Well, I’m still here….and writing this column! And Miz. Jo is still here with me. And now you expect me to lay ‘something good’ on for 2022? Bingo! S–t happens!….and it WILL be better than 2021 because it would be impossible to be worse….hence, better it is!!
*Thought Of The Day….It’s strange how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 cups of coffee goes down like a phatt kid on a seesaw. (thx ‘Cutch) not his real name.