Jan 21 – COVID and cranky curmudgeons, all of us

COVID is making many us cranky codgers..but lovable ones still.

Hold The Fones Folks….
            we have a weiner….ooops….I meant WINNER….of the semi-prestigious “F/N” D.O.T.W. (Dink Of The Week) Award. I mean, it was a ‘no contest’….’landslide win’….’blew the competition away’….’they didn’t stand a chance’ kind of win. ‘Easy as pie’ quipped one of the “F/N” judges….’piece of cake’ whispered another….adding ‘very deserving honours’ as well. Of course I’m talking about Novak Djokovic, the #1 Seed in Men’s Tennis….The Pride of Serbia (*see below)….not to mention the defending Australian Open Champ, hence that’s why he’s ‘down under. To play tennis. But he can’t stay. Or play, for that matter. Because HE’S NOT VACCINATED! And you can’t go to Australia if you’re not vaccinated. Not to play tennis, go surfing, look for kangaroos or koala bears. So, after ‘winning’ one court appeal Novak finds himself returned to ‘immigration detention’ which is a **star or *** star hotel and his mommy is saying her boy is NOT enjoying the food he’s being served….also likely in the **star and ***star range….and how unfair the whole thing is. Added to Immigration Australia’s problems….apparently the tennis star made a considerable donation to Aussie wildfire victims a year ago. Good. Thanks. But that had/has nothing to do with tennis. He has knowingly broken Immigration/Tournament rules and laws…..tyme to go home and say Hi to your adoring Serbian fans (*see above). By the bye, it’s been many moons since Pro Tennis has produced a D.O.T.W., altho hot-headed American John McEnroe captured the honour more than a couple of tymes….then olde-tymer Bobby Riggs grabbed the crown in his much-ballyho’d match vs Billie-Jean King. Now they have a guy who thinks he’s bigger than the game. He’s not. **Update**….Sunday 6:00AM….No ‘cave-in’ by Immigration Officials….Novak is headed home.

Readers Write
            A mix of them today….even some that are non-COVID-related…..and the longer this coronavirus s–t continues, the harder they become to find, but check these out: *A young woman in a Tennessee Courtroom, accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars! The judge asked ”First Offender”? She replied “No. First a Gibson, second a Fender”. **Only in Math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks you ‘what in the hell is wrong with you’!? ***Have you ever looked at someone and thought ‘that person needs some ‘slap therapy’! ****Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets inside of them. Moral of the story; don’t let what is happening around you get inside of you and weigh you down. *****How am I doing? Well……I just wiped down the Javex*tm Bleach container with a Lysol*tm wipe. I’m fine…..everything’s fine.

Running Here/Running There….
            just trying to stay healthy….makes for a busy week. Miz. Jo picked up her NEW glasses last Mon at the Optometrist….the ones to get rid of her ‘double vision’ (yes they work fine, they look great, methinks they even make her look more intelligent); Tues…..Rotzy to the VON at 7:20AM for my (now weekly ongoing leg care, then to ‘Feet First’ (diabetic-related) for 8:30 in the olde McCutcheon Bakery for my quarterly going over, I got ‘the works’ this tyme; then at 1:00PM Miz Jo and yours truly gladly rolled up our sleeves for our 3rd COVID-19 Booster Shots in the Brant County Health Unit at Henry St. and the WGP; plus two sessions at Stand And Tan*tm (interestingly, Rotzy’s been tanning for over thirty years to control my psoriasis and a session costs me about half of what it was way back then); plus two….no….three trips to C. Cross Pharmacy for prescriptions; all this in the name of good health. Anyway, later on Tues aft I ran into my neighbour/’northern pal’ Thunder Bay (not his real name) on the elevator….he’s OBVIOUSLY a non-vaccer but he knew not where yours truly stood/stands….and he’s REALLY on a rant ‘n roll this tyme about Canada’s forthcoming Civil War when the premier of Quebec slaps a tax on the anti-vaccers….it isn’t gonna be pretty……and what’ll Ford do. I said ”S–t Ron (not his real name), ”Miz Jo and I should be OK ’cause we just got our #3 Booster an hour ago!…..but if there’s gonna be any close-up/in-your-face battles, you MAY wanna roll up your sleeve. Hey! it doesn’t hurt at all!….you hardly feel a thing! Plus you get a Tootsie Roll Pop*tm if you don’t cry”. But you’d rather not. So what does he offer up in reply?….a cough. A ‘far cough’….even tho we were standing two metres apart in Elevator #1!! I expect that Non-Vac Ron will be boycotting masques sooner than later, and meanwhile I guess I may enlist for the upcoming Canadian Civil War after deciding what side I’ll be on. Stay tuned.

Outta Touch Or What??!!
            Sports of all sorts have taken a serious drubbing for the last two years….from girls Bantam house-league minor hockey to the NHL and everything in between….with each and every sport imaginable…..some teams and leagues fading away completely. And along with it/them, maybe to the back-burner, perhaps right off the stove, went Rotzy’s love of most sports and a keen interest in/knowledge of them to boot. Well, as COVID’s grip expanded and spread, yours truly’s interest waned (did I just say ‘waned’?) and my knowledge followed it just like so much dried up tumbleweed! The ‘wake up calls’ came last weekend during a round up of scores and games on TSN. TWO items jumped at me….1/ When did Seattle get an NHL team?? Yes, I’m serious! And what the hell is their nickname?? and 2/ When did the NFL’s Raiders start calling Las Vegas home?!? Please don’t say ‘five years ago. Since their AFL days they’ve spent tyme in Oakland, near Oakland, somewhere around Los Angeles and cetera….but in Sin City!!?? I double-checked all this ‘new-to-me’ stuff with Tyson The Cart Guy (not his real name) at Zehr’s Market but I can’t remember Seattle’s NHL name as it made no sense. By the bye, I don’t like the Major League Baseball Mariners and can’t stand the NFL Seahawks, their stadium, their fans or their ‘Bob Rea lookalike’ Head Coach. Just thinking, this might be something to clear up by/with/for some of my fellow Brantford Guy Group (BGG) presidents help me out of the Grey Cup-type fog that’s settled on my pumpkin, however methinks it’s going to be a spell until our group re-convenes one of these Fridays at The Navy Club. Anyway….will some reader help me out with the two teams in question….save Rotzy from Googling*tm.

I Read A Book….
            called The Fall Of The House Of Windsor ten or so years ago, written by a ‘very proper English gentleman’ about the severe problems (internal and external) facing Queen Elizabeth and the entire British Monarchy. (the book was published BEFORE Diana’s tragic death, but her marriage had completely blown up) My Mom was a BIG Monarchist, you know, the Pomp and Pagentry of even everyday life at Buckingham Palace, as I think most Canadians of that age bracket were. I can go for that, but Rotzy also sees it as a Big Company with a LOT of money and a CEO. Named Elizabeth of course. Well I expect we all know E/R II is approaching her Platinum Jubilee….in 2023 it’ll be 70 Years under her rule….and it seems she’s gonna do a clean ‘sweeping of Buckingham’, especially the bedrooms. Grandson Harry and his Missus are long gone, but there is other stuff young’uns need to look after Then she unloaded on her own kid….Dandy Andy….and for starters Andrew isn’t a prince anymore….and 3 (or is it 4?) military units of considerable size/importance aren’t under Andy’s command/watch anymore, so turn in your Sword, Medals and Epaulets because your Mother knows best. And make those ‘sexual harrassment’ charges….from 25 years ago??!!….go away. Then I gotta tell Charles he and The Hound aren’t getting the crown, but it’ll still be God Save The King because it’s going to his son Will and Kate, Long live The Monarchy.

*Thought Of The Day…There’s nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice and with a celery stalk. Absolut (ly)

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