“What The Heck….
….you gonna write about this week Toad”?….I said (to myself) last Sat. Or something like that. Other than the ‘Corona thing’, of course. In fact yours truly did some rough calculations last w/end in regard to our ‘news sources’ here at “F/N”HQ and came up with the following: Zoomer Radio 740AM and 92.9 The Grand FM; TV News on CITY, CTV and CNN….and approximately 96.7% of their content in last week’s broadcasts are ‘Pandemic-related’ directly and/or indirectly! Like, no kidding!!….I mean when’s the last tyme we had a 150-car pile-up on the #401? Drive-by shootings? A $2 Million dollar drug bust? First Nations rail/road blockades? A seven game winning streak by the Leafs? Opening Day for the Jays? The black box for the Ukraine Int Airlines jet that was shot down by Iranian muslim terrorists (remember THAT one?) has been produced and justice will be served! Imagine. But, truth said, and make no mistake about it, the emphasis is where it needs to be!….on COVID-19!! So….SO….Rotzy is having trouble getting my pumpkin around the whole thing *(see below) because it is SO-o-o-o enormous. Also….I, Miz. Jo, you, us, we have never been here before, nor do we know for certain where in hell we’re going, nor for how long. Doctor Oz has a daily, wide ranging COVID-19 update in the afternoons, and Doctor Phil might even do one or two a week….when he’s not hawking his wife’s beauty products, flogging one of his (or Coach Mike’s) new books/projects, or trying to patch up a drunken/drugged-out/trailer trash couple’s marriage from hell. So, take your choice….and me? Forget Dr Phil….I’m just gonna pass on to the readership what I’m seeing and hearing…and like most say, be safe, be positive! Smile a lot!
Tyme to pull the Quote Of The Week outta the moth balls….hey, we haven’t used it in months, perhaps a year. Depending on your sense of humour you may find it humorous….or not. However, I’m betting President Donald J. Trump would like to ‘have it back’….it comes/came from his speech March 18/2020. ”People are dying who have never died before”. Imagine if he had really said that. Now that would have put him in the right light!! But it’s just an Internet joke that makes Trump its butt…a butt he may be and that’s no joke.
This arrived last mid-week and should put a smile on your face, if you, like virtually everybody else in the world, has been involved with/affected by the ‘toilet paper sweepstakes’. A new slant on BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze) Parties which in the future will become BYOTP (as in Toilet Paper)! Of course if the party involves ‘upscale people”, the host could get word out ‘only three ply, merci’ and even ‘suggest’ certain expensive brands! You think?
A Mad Mad Mad Mad World
Re-wind the tape back to Mon March16th at 11:00AM….keeping in mind that the following scene(s) Rotzy is about to lay on you took place without The Marx Brothers or The Three Stooges as I’m doing my (almost) daily grocery shop at Zehr’s on Fairview….tho I learned the same chaos took place at K-Mart, Food Basics, Metro, Sobey’s and cetera (*see below). Anyway, as I entered the store first thing I notice is that there are only THREE empty carts sitting there…that’s not a good sign (especially since they’re all large carts, and I don’t drive them well at all)….on a MONDAY??!! Then I see ALL checkouts are open….on a MONDAY??!! Anyway, I said (to myself) “Whatever. You’ll be outta here in no time at all,Toad….just be careful not to ram any oldsters with the cart”. I was after 6 or 7 things in different sections and sensed something different immediately….somehow ALL of Brant’s Ford’s rudest, loudest, craziest, most ignorant citizens had landed THERE (as well as the other supermarkets (*see above) where manners were in as short a supply as toilet paper, rice, pasta and flour, frozen food and bottled water. Also, it mighta been my imagination but it seemed part of the mob….those under 50 or 55?… were operating on a short fuse and yours truly was wondering how they’d do on ‘rationing’ during and after WW II? That said, I’m pleased to report no fist fights broke out, and aside from a rather terrifying 2 minutes when the mob pounced on two pallets of 12-pack toilet paper ripping apart the cardboard cases and jamming 3 or 4 packs under both arms. By the bye, I was told by staff a couple days later that type of behaviour is called ‘panic shopping’….and in spite of all the distractions, or more likely because ALL the checkouts were open, I was outta there in the same tyme I usually am.
Doing It Right
Since then, with ”SOCIAL DISTANCING” becoming THE new worldwide watchword, Zehr’s (Loblaws) have done more stuff to try and control COVID-19….limiting the number of people in the store, opening all/most checkouts to avoid lineups; tape/markings on the floor to help shoppers with keeping their distance; storing empty carts outside; as well, they’ve shut down certain parts of their deli, some coolers and the wine sampling area. Other stores are doing the same kind of things.
Doing It Wrong
With Social Distancing becoming a new way of life/doing things, as opposed to merely a suggestion/recommendation, Miz. Jo and yours truly were amazed….OK, OK, OK….we were ‘well beyond amazed’….watching the news on TV last week as the roving camera focused in on a LINEUP of HUNDREDS of young people….millennials?….outside EB Games on Yonge Street and waiting for hours on end for a new video game which was just being released. There was virtually no effort made toward ‘social distancing’ at all….by the shoppers, who were standing shoulder to shoulder for hours nor the store owners, and the latter were only interested in how many of these new games could they sell. Well, dont-cha know that Mayor John Tory found out about EB’s big sale……wasn’t impressed at all and fined them $10,000 for their blatant disregard of some dead-ass serious health concerns. Now all EB stores across Canada are closed down….either by His Worship and/or on their own. ‘Social Distancing’…..get used to it folks. It’s goin nowhere no tyme soon!!
*Thought Of The Day…Jesus loves you…..but I’m his favourite.