Nov 22 – Welcome to Scrooge 2021

Watch out folks….Scrooge may have taken on another form this year but he’s as ornery as ever, if not more so.

”Some Assembly Required”(*see below)
It’s been awhile since Miz. Jo and Rotzy joined forces to ‘build’ anything, but last Friday we ‘came out of semi-retirement’ to construct a shelving unit….black metal, lightweight but sturdy….on which to pile an accute overabundance of books, as well as other stuff that needs a ‘home’. The new unit is from CTC*tm….knowingly sayeth Miz. Jo, ”because that’s where the other one came from’….the store-wide search, plus the waiting in the ‘real/live cashier’ check-out line took an hour or more. Sorry but Rotzy will NOT use those ‘automated/U-Do-It’ cash registers….anywhere!! So….SO….this unit is identical to the one already here, which also ‘required some assembly'(*see above)….but one doesn’t need tools to put them together and Miz. Jo has the instructions in hand….but uses both of her hands to help when needed….which is often because of yours truly’s paws, which function not unlike a couple Scarfe*tm ‘4 inch paint brushes. Methinks we picked up the original one at Can Tyre two or three years ago, hence recalling HOW we did it is a lost cause, altho stealing the odd glance at it did help. Anyway, who says we gotta have them ‘exactly identical’??!! They’re close enough, and within five minutes of its’ completion, Miz. Jo had it loaded up….arranged!….in a manner that didn’t just look ‘like a bunch of books piled on a shelf’. Imagine.

You May Have Seen This….
….before on your I/B email….it’s not brand new/been around awhile….a list, apparently put together by a bunch of ‘very smart/MENSA-type people’….not unlike BGG members….consisting of ”Ten Things That Will DISAPPEAR In Our Lifetyme”. GONE….for good. Now, there is a rather long ‘explanation of why and how’ after each ‘thing’….don’t you worry about that, yours truly’s not going to put you through all that s–t, so just check this out, OK? Here’s what’s gonna VANISH, for good: *1/ The Post Office 2/ The Newspaper 3/ The Cheque 4/ The Book 5/  Land Line Phones 6/ Music 7/ TV Revenues 8/ Things You Own (say what?) 9/  Cursive Writing (Letters Joined) 10/ Privacy.* Well, well, well….won’t that just be lovely? Anyway, I could care less about some of them, but when I saw 4 and 6, well sir/m’am, colour me gone! Of course, it only stands to reason Bud Light Tall Boys*tm in all likelihood are next, hence, my point being exactly that….what’s the point? Y’all have yourself a lovely day.

Readers Write
Need a little humour after that last item, so here’s some tidbits from a ‘certified oldster’ who’s quite willing to share a laugh. Check ’em out: *I just ordered a Life Bracelet, so IF I get a life I’ll be notified immediately! **I made a huge To-Do List today. I just can’t figure WHO in hell is going to do all that s–t? ***ME: I am surprised at how winded I am by this exercise. PERSONAL TRAINER: This was the tour of the gym. ****It helps if you imagine a tiny little elf in your fone who’s trying to be helpful, but is, in fact, quite drunk. Thanks ‘Weiner’ (not his real name) and keep ’em coming folks!

Holy Cow
    And before you can say Bealzabub, it’s gonna be Holy Night! Or is it? I’ve heard it said several tymes now on Fight Back, the fone show in on Zoomer Radio by people who you’d think are knowing what they’re talking about. Well, THEY seem to know….and they get it on good authority. What they’re talking about. And do YOU know what that might be? Yuletide! Noel! Yes….Christmas!! But not the olde-fashioned, happy banter such as ‘be of good cheer’/’God rest ye merry gentlemen’ Christmas….a COVID-ized Chistmas. AGAIN! Still! Hey….Rotzy doesn’t want to sound like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. No, No, No! Not me. No way. But, “From Nakina” is giving odds that Xmas 2021 isn’t gonna be like Xmas….let’s say Xmas 2019…or 2018….or 1985, just to be safe. Not at all. Far from it in fact….and it will follow it’s current WORLD WIDE pattern like that until….until….well, you know….until the anti-vaccers become Wise Men. And women. As it stands these days, their camels are smarter! Speaking of which, and by the bye, Rotzy just meandered down to Edna in the parking lot for a puff….Miz. Jo still ‘rations’ them out, six a day….and who do I run into in the elevator lobby but Don The Dink (not his real name)….you may recall him as the MAJOR ‘anti-vaccine guy’ from a couple weeks back and he axed me ‘where are your shorts’? (like everybody else here at #555) so I told him ‘done for the year’ as of last Wednesday and yours truly switched to a pair of Windy River*tm blue jeans….first tyme for full-length strides since late April, and they’re rather complicated, what with belt, zipper, more pockets, sox and something other than flip-flops on my feet! Anyway, rather than have another go-round with Don by axing ”you get your vaccine shots yet”? I steered clear of that so as to avoid another vitriolic dose of nonsense more suited to a yappy, little, five-yr old brat. Anyway, IF this Christmas does become COVID-ized methinks I’ll have to invite Don The Dink up for a Xmas Toast. Stay tuned. ***Monday 6:00AM Update***Zoomer 740AM News….2.9 Million Units of Pfizer Vaccine arrived late yesterday at Hamilton International Airport….for availability/dispensing this week….CHILDREN 5-12 the target. Unless Mummy and Daddy are part of the Anti-Vaccers movement. And they DO have their rights, Mummy and Daddy do, right? ‘Nuff said.

Tis The Season To Rage
    Altho Rotzy sees myself as a Christmas Person, in spite of, or perhaps because of, an ‘advanced age’, for the last few decades it all starts ‘way too soon’.,,,jeez, the Halloween stuff gets put away and out comes Santa Claus and his elves….along with the gleeful, cheerful, seasonal music. Over and over and over, like I said, too much/too soon, altho, mercifully, some stores/businesses hold off until November 12th. Maybe that’s why a lot of Brant’s Ford drivers were operating on a short wick last couple weeks and the rage was all around the city….the north end at least. Lots of HORNS and Rotzy’s best/worst was a woman following me out of Zehr’s Thursday just after noon hour….I’m on Fairview approaching a RED light at Park Rd North….apparently not quickly enough for a young lady behind me in an expensive looking vehicle, hence I get a toot and a hand gesture. Whatever. Heading north on P/RN with too much traffic for her to pass and she’s ‘right on my ass-end’….all I can see in my rear-view is REVOR EGNAR, if you get my drift….as we approach another RED light at Dunsdon…3 lanes at the light….thru/left/right and I need the thru, so I signal, give Edna Equinox some pedal, and slide into the middle lane…she LEANS on the horn but she’s SO “F/N” close I can’t see in her cab to see if I’m getting more hand signals. Then, she’s out and around me and hammers on her brakes….in the thru lane….and her tailgate tells/shows me she’s in a RANGE ROVER. And stopped. Then….she ‘had a change of mind'(?) and basically ‘jumped’ from our lane to the left turn lane….the rear half of the R/R right on the pedestrian walkway and her front half out into the intersection. Rotzy was gonna honk but I know not how to work Edna’s horn just yet, so I rolled my window down to tell her ‘seasons wishes’….but it came out as a cough…. a ‘far’ cough. So Felice Navidad, ma’am.

*Thought Of The Day…Is it really necessary for the first sheet of toilet paper to be glued down?

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