Rotzy basks in the warmth of more Memories of the EX

More Memories From ‘The Ex’ Circa 1950-55
Had some good feedback on last week’s CNE item, so here’s some more. Memories. As kids we all had our favourite cowboys and indians (*indigenous and/or aboriginals hadn’t yet been heard of) from the movies and TV, and I saw all of mine….LIVE (!) at the grandstand matinee during those years. Hopalong Cassidy….Cisco and Pancho….Tonto and The Lone Ranger…..Lash Larue (my fave, but don’t tell Roy)…..Gene Autry with sidekick Gabby Hayes. But none of them could even hold a candle to Roy’s grand entrance! Roy on Trigger, leading the charge up the cinder running track right in front of 10,000 screaming kids….Bullet right at Trigger’s thundering hooves. Dale urging Buttermilk along half a length behind….and Pat Brady bringing up the rear in Nellybell, the WW II Willys Jeep, and tho it had no speedometer, I’m betting he was doing 50 +! MPH, as km/hr hadn’t yet been invented! (*see below) Now, don’t forget, Trigger was leading the entourage! Such an amazing/beautiful animal!! Still is apparently…’cause when Trigger died, Roy took him to the taxidermist and had him stuffed…. Rotzy recently heard that at an ‘R/R estate auction’ somebody wrote a 1/4 Million Dollar cheque so that he could have Trigger in his rec room, or standing (bucking?) on the deck beside the pool. Too cool, eh? Bye the bye, here’s a couple facts about Roy you may or may not be aware of. Roy never lost a fist fight! Ever. Hell, he never lost ANY kind of fight. In fact, he never had his Stetson*(tm) knocked off. Word has it he was known to use his boots (he could kick the eye out of a snake with those pointed toes) and even his spurs. Yet he never shot a man to death….except one tyme in Cheyenne….but the guy was such a wastrel/crook/bad guy, Dale prayed for Roy….for a week….and dont-cha know, it was “Happy Trails” all over again and there was peace in the valley. But I digress….back to The Ex. The Midway….food/rides/games of chance to win big $, perhaps a ‘Betty Boop-like’ kewpie doll, or a stuffed animal the size of an NFL Middle Linebacker!! Young Bobby was a sucker for tossing those “F/N ‘wooden donut thingies’ over the top of family-size Coke*tm bottles….I must’ve spent hundreds!! OK, OK, OK….not quite, but a lot. Then, I WON!!! A huge bear….beige….and it was smiling. BUT….I don’t remember what happened with/to it? A blank…still. There is no way it’d fit into the storage locker….hence, ‘sell’ it back to the Game Guy? Not interested. Give it to some stranger? I know damned well I did NOT show a fit of anger with my DAD….because…..well because you just didn’t do that! Bottom line….I simply don’t remember what we did with him/her?? S–t. So….SO….how about ‘Midway Food’….not those concoctions somebody dreamt up these days. I’m talking dogs, burgs, pogos, fries (no poutine) onions rings….i.e. NOTHING that might be on Canada’s Healthy Food Guide. ”Can we get a burg….please Dad”…..at the booth where the cook has about 20 lbs of greasy chopped ONIONS sitting at one side of the grill and a mountain of burgs at the other….all of them looking VERY WELL DONE, and you say ‘a hamburg with fried onions please, Sir. He slops some mustard and relish on the top bun with his spatula….and then….on the bottom bun he plopped a wad of onions, one of the WELL DONE hamburgs, then a giant scoop of onions atop that. Now the moment…..I bite into it, still a bit too hot, but who cares?! Another (bigger) bite and now there’s grease dripping off my chin and onto my t-shirt, I look up at my Dad and his chin is shiny too, but his shirt’s still clean. HEY!! Welcome to The Ex!!! The Rides?? Loved the Kiddies Tubs Of Fun, The Kiddies Boat Carousel, The Kiddies Merry-Go-Round….then we both went on the ADULT Horse Carousel (which went 30-35 mph!) (*see above)….The Tilt-A-Whirl and cetera….but….BUT….NOTHING that went more than 5 ft above sea level. We NEVER missed the Dodge-em Cars….now this was ten years before Dad bought his first car, hence he knew no more about driving than me, so here’s the pair of us being Barney-Bad-Ass all over the oily steel floor….’tag-team’ it was and we’d t-bone, sideswipe and head-on (a definite no-no!) anything that dared come near us! Dale Earnhardt Sr and Dale E. Jr. tho it was more like a Figure-8 Demolition Derby at Islip, N/York than NASCAR at Daytona. Oh yeh…one other thing on our list….being an olde fastball player from Woodstock, Dad still loved the game, so we always took in a couple games at the Canadian Ladies Fastball Championships….and ‘Fast’ is the word for it, they were Amazing!! Plus, as well as all my cowboy heroes, we also caught a few famous people (on the mammoth stage they rolled out onto the football field) at the Grandstand Sat Matinee….Bob Hope at the top of the list! tho I know not if Bing and Dorothy came along with him? I was likely more impressed with the appearance of another ‘Bob’…. Bob Richards (we knew his picture from the Wheaties*tm box) the record-setting Pole Vaulter from the U.S.A…..first to clear 16 ft!! And he showed 20,000 people just HOW he did it! Way cool! There was also a couple lady singers appeared….methinks maybe ”Juliette”, the Cdn chanteuse who had a show on CBC TV, and she made brassieres. Hey, I was FIVE, no idea what a ‘bra’ was? but I sort of recall her singing didn’t thrill me. But then (the next year?) it was Teresa Brewer….famous for “Put another nickel in, In the nickel-odeon” *(AHA!! You’re singing it right now!…aren’t you!!??) Well now….THAT lady could sing!! Anyway….to quote Bob Hope (*see above)…..to The Grande Olde Lady of Fairs….on behalf of this olde guy….”thanks for the memories”!! In this s–thole of a world we occupy in 2022, a trip back to the ‘fabulous fifties’ is just what the doctor ordered….and if YOU were THERE for them, and YOU are still HERE….good for YOU….and if YOU enjoyed the CNE Trip HALF as much as Rotzy did….and I only grabbed a piece of it….well, we’re LAUGHING!! If you’re too young and/or don’t understand/care, then twenty-three skee-do to you!

Bye The Bye….
….the Big “F/N” Contest to name the upscale restaurant formerly located in the CNE Stadium had/has NO WINNER! Not even close with the ‘entries’ we got: *Frans?…. “upscale”?….FRANS? c’mon man; *Winstons? (no Louie Janetta); Grosmanns? c’mon man!; *The Brown Derby? nope; *(The Colonial? too ‘bluesy’ *Frankie Tomato Head? or is it *Tommy Tomato Head (too big….it was the size of Pt.Credit!); *A&W Eat In? (that’s rude….and dumb) *The Seaway Motel/Rest? (”Bob Hope stays (stayed) here!!”) too little/too late; *Carlos & Adelina’s? (best Italian Food in T.O. but there’s just Mom and Pop..hence, they’d never manage. No, no, no, you’re all WRONG! The restaurant was simply called ”THE STOODLEIGH”, in white, 8 ft high letters, right across the front, up where it could be seen by all from a distance. Anyway, put your ‘Dunce Hats’ on and go sit in the corner. Until the next Contest. IF, by chance, YOU have dined there I’m curious to hear about it…..when, choices, rating, service, prices….so lemme know. I’m relatively sure they did NOT serve Teen Burgers! Or All-U-Can-Eat Spaghetti for $1.99.

Stuff….
Not sure if if I dreamt/dreamed this or not….but anyway, for almost five years now I’ve been the (self-appointed) ‘Dog Treat Guy’ here at the Skyline Compound….536/555 and 575….and have come to know dozens and dozens of them by name….from the 2 lb ‘Tara’ aka ‘Killer’ to the 102 lb ‘Venom’….and of course they know Rotzy and what’s in my pocket. Never been bit….perhaps gnarled on a few tymes by ‘newbies’, but they like me and are almost always ‘friendly towards me’, even performing

‘trix’….sometymes ‘friendlier’ than their owners….imagine!….and they (the dogs) provide the ongoing ‘dog fixes’ the olde guys needs/appreciates since our Edna The Chowhead Dog went to Dog Heaven. OK? Now for ‘the dream’ part. About the same tyme as I became Dog Treat Guy I also became the (self appointed) 555 Harris Place ‘Flower Pot Guy, ‘tending to the pots on each side of the front door’….’deadheading’ the petunias on a daily basis. Getting rid of the dead/dieing blooms….they immediately look better with the dead stuff gone and it really helps promote ‘new blooming/growth! OK? Well, up on the balcony of Unit #303 we have our own large double pot of purple-ish petunias, which in spite of being blown off its’ table 3 or 4 tymes during storms, it’s doing quite well, thank you! Because the Flower Pot Guy is ‘taking care of business’, not unlike Randy Bachmann. It’s actually more funn up here on 3rd floor as I release them to flutter down to the gardens directly below us….and if/when the blooms aren’t really dead and withered up, the flower turns into a helicopter, safely landing on the soil where it ‘becomes mulch’….which is a GOOD thing, right? So….SO….last Wed or Thurs I’m releasing ‘my helicopters’ and a breeze comes up….from the North, sending my ‘choppers’ beyond their ‘planned landing area’. No big deal right? Wrong!! At that very moment a woman steps out the front door who looks like she just witnessed something bad! Then one made a good landing, yet the woman (I didn’t/don’t know her, maybe a visitor?) looked up at me as if A/ I had s–t on my nose or B/ I was tossing Zehr’s $9.99 Large Watermelons at her, then asked (demanded?) WHAT on earth are you DOING up there?! I said ”ME”? One hand went onto her hip….”well, who else is up there”? “OK Toad I said (to myself) let’s have some fun, shall we”? Well, I glanced ( a tad exagerratedly) all around me, under, over and both sides….all clear, MT balconies….and replied ”nope….no dogs either”. I’m not sure what she said back to me?…. so I explained exactly WHAT on earth I had been doing, ‘just trying to make our balcony look ‘nice’, the value of ‘adding mulch’ in creating a ‘Greener Earth’ and on and on and on. Then she snaps back at me “well they’re not going to make a helluva lot of mulch sitting on the cement’!! to which, as ‘sheeplishly’ as I could muster up, Rotzy acguiesced (say what!?) ”you may have a valid point there, m’am”. By now I’m really wishing I DID have watermelons. Just ONE….even the $4.99 size! ”Hey Toad….I thought we were ‘gonna have some funn’?! but I’m up to my ass in alligators, whilst arguing with ‘Mother Earth’ down there in/near my ‘landing zone’. She is NOT funn….at all!….she is thge heck of me’!! And she needs a ‘cough’, and 3 floors up is just about right for a ‘far cough’! Hey! Perhaps a cantelope?….a real RIPE one! Instead, Rotzy The Gentleman politely said I’m coming right down with the broom and sweep the sidewalk….you’re right/I’m wrong/all’s well….and have a nice ‘Green’ day. Well, she didn’t like my reply, had to get in the last word, so Rotzy politely ‘whispered’ a nice, cheery ‘far cough’. **Update! Sunday 10:30AM as I write this. I just went out on the balcony….nary a hint of a breeze….and I ‘floated’ the BEST ‘copter yet to a perfect landing, right behind the rosebush!! Funn. ** Update #2….Monday 8:00AM…. wind N/W 15 k/hr FOUR launches….3 of them successful….#4 disappeared (onto Unit 203’s balcony). Zero casualties!

*Thought Of The Day….Mary had a little sheep, And with this sheep she went to sleep. The ‘sheep’ turned out to be a ‘ram’ And Mary had a little lamb. (Grim Fairy Tales)

The curtain is dropping on ‘the good old summertime’….garden harvesting is nearing, the CNE has opened for another show, Continue reading →

Ya’d think really old people were running the medical services at BGH (Brantford General) given the chaos and confusion that reigns supreme over there. [Just takin’ the stereotypical view most people take about old people.] Luckily, Miz. Jo sounds to be bearing up well. Rotzy, not so much! A new PC nearly got him committed.

Miz. Jo Report/Update
It’s Friday 7:13 AM as I write this item, I’ve already been down to BGH to drop off Jo Ann’s freshly charged Fit Bit(*tm), an extra box of Scotties and her clean P/J’s plus a short visit…then a stop-off on the way home at Mt Hope to give Marj and Clare’s flower pot a drink….as she’s off to Hamilton General at 9:00 to have a ‘pacemaker’ installed….like the Pink Eveready Bunny….I expect somewhere between 10:00 and Noon. Or after lunch. I’m guessing she’ll ride in one of those ‘Voyago’ ambulances that Rotzy went to Ham. General for my angiogram in 2021….the Mercedes-Benz units seen all over down here. And they do DRIVE ’em! My crew dropped me at HGH, then were off to Ottawa! Hence, it’s hard to pin down Miz. Jo’s ETA back at BGH. We’re hoping for a positive result from the surgery/procedure, possibly an immediate improvement in certain areas of function….since her three-week old diagnosis came as somewhat of a ‘surprise’. Also, the fact Jo Ann had her recent hip replacement done under a ‘local’ anaesthetic, which surprised a lot of people, says today should be a cakewalk. Anyway….we’ll get back to this item tomorrow ayem.

As It Stands….
….what with the above ‘ifs and buts’, methinks yours truly will be required to pull another ‘Bill Bailey’ for Friday’s weekly BGG meeting. That would/will be two consecutive weeks. In a row. I suppose it could be argued that I AM the President….and the President SHOULD be there….right?….I mean, being ‘a person of rank’ and all….right? As well as being the oldest. Well folks, it could also be argued that Rotzy is merely 1 of 92 Presidents! That’s right….the latest unofficial tally showed/shows 94 Brantford Guy Group Members, 92 of whom are the President….as to the 2 Non-Presidents, 1 is the Sec/Treasurer and the other is the Sgt. At Arms who has designs on becoming the Grande Poo-bah! and word has it he’s even trying to infiltrate the High Council!! At any rate, sanity, along with a hefty dose of level-headedness will prevail within The BGG. It always does. Prevail.

Summertyme….And The Livin’ Is Easy….
but following a week or three with temps at or near “BROIL”, we get 3 or 4 days in the low and mid-twenties, wall to wall sunshine, low or no humidity, and out come the ‘Gloom And Doomers’! And WTF are THEY talking about/predicting? If you answered ‘autumn or fall’ you’re wrong! No sir/m’am….they skip directly to Winter!! Do not pass ‘GO’!….Do not collect $200! Dig out your goose down vest and your balaclava and take your Honda or Hyundai (no problem ’cause Rotzy can’t tell them apart) into the tyre shoppe and get your ‘studded snows’ on….and don’t be dragging your feet about it! Well….’tho Rotzy’s not gonna side in with the ‘G and D bunch’ in anticipating the arrival of Olde Man Winter before you can say ‘Jack Frost’, they are quite correct about how incredibly FAST the days/weeks/months fly past! (*note….I won’t add ‘years’ in there because the past two have gone on forever) As in ‘well, it’s Monday’…then it’s the weekend’ (unless you’re an oldster, then it’ s always the w/end) Thing is, I’m pretty sure I’m not imagining that the sand is going through the hourglass like quicksilver. Mind you, yours truly isn’t complaining….hell, at this age/stage of the game, if we still HAVE an hourglass we’re doing good….even if seven days feel like four or five….or summer just flew by in 2022. So….SO….I said (to myself) ”Hey Toad, don’t be thinking too deep on this thing, too fast/too slow….wasting tyme looking for ‘just right’….at least you’re on the right side of the lawn”.

‘Miz. Jo Day’ (*see below)
Busy tymes here at Unit #303….I’m picking up Jo Ann around 11:00-Noon. The Medical Follow-up I did Sat ayem ‘left the building’ so here’s the scoop….her Friday procedure/surgery at Ham Gen was ‘cancelled’……a ‘misdiagnosis’ (?) and she doesn’t need a pacemaker, hence her BGH departure got moved ahead!! And she is really looking forward to some of Chef Rotzy’s ‘home cookin’….like peanut butter and tomato sandwich, on sourdough bread of course. Tonight is ‘liver with onions and ‘shrooms’….recipe of the late Chef Dennis C. of Nakina….don’t overcook the liver!! MMmmmmm! Hence it’s tyme for a quick run down to Zehr’s. Stay tuned.

Ch…Ch…Ch…Changes
Thanks for the intro Mr. Bowie…and you don’t say/sing it in jest! I’m talking about Miz. Jo’s schedule….or lack thereof….over the past 3 days. (*see above) There have been changes in plans, changes in Doctors (and nurses of course) and changes in rooms (3 different numbers/locations to remember) over the past 4 days. Or is/was it 3? The I/V is out, the I/V is back in. The portable monitor is attached….then it’s not. The menus change every day of course, tho she never sees one. A menu. She was actually enjoying lunch yesterday….cream of broccoli soup and roasted chicken thigh w/ corn (NOT CARROTS!) and potatoes….but just as she sliced into the chicken, they came to move here. Again. S–t. So….SO….it’s Mon 9:30AM as I finish this off, and I’m about to switch her pajamas, and cetera I picked up this ayem at 7:00 into the dryer….I ‘splained to her we have a ‘Special’ on Today…’2 Pair for One’…..and….’In by 7:00, Delivered by Noon’. S–t. I can’t see any “F/N” profit on that….at $5 bucks a pop for BGH parking. What the hell? She’s an olde customer….and a good one. Stay tuned.

*Thought Of The Day….The Queen of Our Hearts, She baked up some tarts….They turned out all blackened, quite scary….Then she smiled as she looked them all over again…. Said “I baked them for Megan and Harry!” (Grim Fairy Tales)

Overlook Rotzy’s incomprehensive parts…he’s still learning how to use the new computer. These damn new fangled thngs tke lurnin ta fgr out. Continue reading →

Rotzy was down for the count for a while, “technologically speaking.” But he’s up and running again [‘running’ being used in the loosest sense of the word.]

Our 8-Year Olde ASUS*tm P/C Monitor….
has been showing its’ age for a couple or three years now, a bright light at the bottom/right of the screen….kinda like a ‘sunrise’. But it turned into a ‘sunset’….a permanent one….with the help of a dandy electrical storm here at 555 Harris Place a week ago. As usual Rotzy slept through it, so Miz. Jo filled me in on the driving rain, strong winds, power outage and all. Well, altho the P/C was plugged into a ‘power-surge-bar’, ASUS*tm went AWOL, in spite of everything surviving. Imagine….the ‘used’ desk lamp I recently bought at Value Village*tm for $5.95 is fine….but the $1000-plus computer is toast!!?? So….SO….Jo Ann emailed Editor Eric K. at the T-Star on her i-Pod about covering for “From Nakina” last week and yours truly set off down the W.G.P. to Best Buy*tm….they’re close to us and we’d bought a Canon*tm Printer from them a year ago. Long story short, we got an Acer*tm ‘Aspire’ C 24….only problem is that Rotzy’s suffers from ‘olde dogs/new tricks syndrome’, even in spite of a visit from The Geek Squad Guy, and I could NOT adapt to the new Acer*tm keyboard!….too small keys with too small letters on them, way too many of them, and in different locations than they used to be. Anyway, after a few nervous breakdowns I announced that I was off to Best Buy*tm ‘to correct the keyboard situation/problem’. And I did! Hence, this item you are reading comes to you via my NEW Logitech*tm MK235….which is identical to the one I’ve been using for years (paired with the ASUS*tm). But this baby is brand-new….AND….here’s the kicker….yours truly installed it!! Unpacking it/plugs/ports/USB’s/batteries….the whole enchilada! S–t….I betcha The Geek Squad would likely hire me in a New York Minute! So here’s the deal….I emailed Eric K yesterday via my new ‘Aspire’….simply reading ‘Test Run Only”….to which I received his usual/standard reply….”Got It! Thanks!” And when I read it, I said (to myself) “Well, Toad….it looks like you’ll not be fired, laid off, suspended (with or without pay) sent down to Triple A Buffalo or placed on the 30-Day DL. So….pitter/patter!!

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary….
….how does your garden grow? Well, she may grow Silver Bells and Cockle Shells (I’m not sure but methinks Mary Mary is talking about ‘les fleurs’, including her ‘three pretty maids all in a row’) but Rotzy and my fellow growers here at Skyline and over at Hope CR seem to be more inclined to produce other tastier/more filling and healthful produce….yours truly is having a REAL run on cabbages, green and yellow beans, straight 8 cukes, a second batch of radishes should be ready very shortly and then the rest….carrots, onions, beets, squash and whatever tomatoes make it up here on our balcony. Anyway, I had just pulled into our #58 parking spot after my buckboard run yesterday when a neighbour approached with a definite look of concern as ”a rabbit or something was eating the green cabbages down front”!! I thanked her and said I’d check after lunch when I was down picking green and yellow beans….and I did. Check. Nary a sign of hungry rabbits or any other wild critters….nothing but a 2-inch wide ‘crevasse’ half way around it. Actually, it ‘split apart’….grew too big, too fast, and it’s quite common, so you already know this if you if you have a Cabbagetown in your garden. I cleaned off three or four layers of the affected leaves and it’s good as new. I’ll turn it over to our neighbour this aft and she can turn it into cabbage rolls, coleslaw and cetera.

Speaking Of Food….
….and I was….this is Rotzy’s favourite tyme of the year in the Produce Dept! NIAGARA TYME!!! The veritable horn of plenty when it comes to les fruits….and yours truly ‘tracks its’ arrival through Jason (not his real name), the Produce Mgr at Zehr’s, with Peaches being first! tho they were nipped this year by Nectarines! Rule #1….it’s gotta say “Niagara” in bold print on the package….and if they ‘elaborate’ to pinpoint ”Jordan Valley Station”, well, that’s even better. Other places that are recognized/allowed/welcomed are Vineland, Smithville, Fruitland, Jordan, Jordan Harbour, Beamsville, Ball’s Falls and Grimsby, the long-tyme home of the OHA Grimsby Peach Kings….also, word has it the peaches can now be found near Bowmanville (which is traditionally ‘apple country’, and altho B’ville is on the opposite side of the lake from the others, the 4 qt basket of peaches I picked up there a few years ago disappeared rather quickly. Now, the Niagara area is coming up with new combinations for Rotzy to try, the first was a 3L bag of ‘Peacharenes’….and they ‘went’ in three days. So….SO….today at Zehr’s I’m gonna choose between a bag of Yellow Plums or Golden Apricots. Or what about Plumcots? Say what?!

*Thought Of The Day….Mary had a little lamb, she also had a goat. I’ve oftentymes seen her little lamb, But I’ve never got her goat. (“Grim Fairy Tales”)

Rotzy’s in attack mode as the garden varmints invade his garden…this just won’t do!

BGH Stuff (Brantford General Hospital)
The info in this piece might not be quite factual….I mean the tyme frame….but it is surely to be corrected by Miz. Jo, who is, amongst other things, the number one P/R (proof reader) for this “F/N” column. Twennie (not his real name) is #2 P/R…..and he’s been doing it for years. Proof reading. The thing is, this week Miz. Jo’s gonna be doing it….proof reading….from Room 535 at BGH (Brantford General Hospital)….that is, if ROGERS*tm fixes the mess we….’we’ being HALF of the Dominion …. according to Zoomer 740AM….find ourselves in today, Fri 8th!! Anyway, here y’are….Jo Ann landed in hospital Tuesday about 5:00 ayem, OK? She had a new right hip (‘the ball’) installed and was back in her room to receive visitors (Rotzy) as of 3:30 Thursday! It went well…in fact…she went for a short stroll down the hall with a couple nurses while I was up visiting Friday around lunch-tyme and when they came back into the room yours truly asked her for a dance, but she buffed me off, saying ”sorry, but my dance card is full’. Damn. Well. maybe today? She may or may not see somebody from Physio on the weekend, but if not, she has her own list of ‘do’s’ as well as ‘NOT to do’s’, like restricted bending and NOT crossing your legs. She likes her room mate Linda (not her real name) but is not big on BGH food…however the cream of cauliflower soup she’s getting for lunch today has her attention, as Rotzy gave it an A+….the soup….on my last visit, so we’ll see. She has a couple (non hip-related) procedures to be done Mon or Tues but her ‘new *bi-polar ball joint* recovery has been great….(THAT * is NOT a typo, THAT is what they called it!)….and the speed it all happened with was/is amazing! And a great job by all concerned!! Stay tuned.

”Roger(s)! Wilco!….Over And Out”
And OUT they were….still ARE as of Sat. noon. Out like an expired candle in the wind. Ted…..Rogers, that is….must be rolling over in his grave today! It’s Sat July 9th, the day after somebody blew the main fuse at Rogers HQ, and it’s not fixed yet! The news networks are saying 50% of Canada/Canadians are affected by the shutdown, whilst Rogers, for now, are only saying ”SORRY”. Most businesses doing business on a ‘cash only basis’….but good luck getting your paws on the cash. Rogers said something about rebates/credits and such, as Ma Bell’s CEO and big-wigs are looking on at the carnage with big, wide grins usually reserved for cheshire cats and the likes. For example, Miz. Jo was able to reach me here at “F/N”HQ from Room 535 at BGH on my BELL land line fone. The latter was supposed to be ‘replaced’ by my new cell fone….but….Rotzy ‘dug in my heels’ and we hung onto it, because I’m not as stupid as I look! Still not sure when Ted’s people will have things running smoothly but the olde guy withdrew some ca$h the day BEFORE the screw-up, hence I’m good to go for Zehr’s and The In And Out Store….at least for today (Sat). but if it’s gonna continue I may have to consider some kind of ATM Dispenser/Box heist…to tide me over awhile. Stay tuned!

L:)ook WAY Down The List
Or listen ‘well into’ the news broadcast….and that’s where/when you’ll learn about the cold blooded murder of Shinzo Abe, the former Prime Minister of Japan. He’d stepped down as P/M after a decade and was giving a speech on behalf of his party when he was literally blown away by 2 cannon-like shots from a ‘home made’ gun by a man who was tackled and captured on the spot! I wouldn’t/couldn’t recall the P/M’s name but recognized his face immediately as Japan’s long-tyme leader. Anyway, it just struck me as ‘odd’ that Abe’s tragic assassination didn’t rate a ‘higher importance ranking’ up the news ladder. Just sayin’…. Anyway Justin counted the P/M among his close international friends and sent condolences to wife/family and Japan.

Gardens And Stuff
‘Twas just a dandy week for veggie gardens in and around Brant’s Ford….a combination of hot/sunny days and two or three good rainfalls. Not unlike last summer’s weather that produced record-setting crops of tomatoes, no matter if you had 3 or 4 plants in your 3’x6’ raised garden or your 500-acre farm is under contract to grow them for Aylmer or French’s. You’ll note I didn’t mention Heinz? That’s because HJ closed up shop in Leamington, ON and ‘went south’! (*Heinz is the heck of me, so to heck with them….Frenchs Ketchup is better anyway!) But you get my drift, right? But it’s not just the tamates….all of it’s doing well! and Mike The Gardner (not his real name) our neighbour down the hall, has a double plot over at Hope C/R Gdn and his corn (COTC) is already well over five feetl! and everything else is doing great! Except 4 or 5 cauliflower plants….ALL of which have been stripped BARE!! As were the cauliflower in a couple other plots. So….SO….most of them at Hope (including Mike, but not Rotzy) put up chicken wire to keep the critters…rabbits….out, but Mike spotted this guy in the act….a (well-fed) ground hog! who then jogged over to the church where he took refuge in the ‘snow-ball bushes’! Being that we are NOT in The Lone Star State there was no rifle in his truck and he seemed at a loss of what he could do? Rotzy would say ”nothing! Mike….he’s got all he needs from you, and then some, and he’s finding other ‘sources’ here as well”. “But what’re we gonna do with him? (meaning ‘TO’ him I’m sure) as he mumbled something about different firearms he’s owned. Oh s–t. Bad idea. So the back and forth went kinda like this….”Hey guy, you let me look after Gary Groundhog, OK?” ‘You got a .22’? “Nope….don’t own a gun”. ‘What? A bow’? ”Nope Mike….a hoe”. ‘A garden hoe’? ”Exactly, Mike”. ‘Far cough’. ”Seriously Mike, up in Nakina we had a problem with our lettuce….then enuff was enuff! First victim was ‘Buggs’ the Hare, then Gary the Groundhog….both met their end at the end of my ancient/favourite/wooden-handle hoe as yours truly and our grandson The Boog (with an assist to his sling shot) went into ‘attack mode’. KLOON! Sadly, I broke the hoe handle as I landed a ‘grand-slam swing’, on Gary’s pumpkin….lights out!!! So….SO….when we got down here and I started gardening again, I needed a new hoe. Well….I got me a ‘Mark Cullen Approved’ Multi-Purpose Garden Tool*tm from Home Hardware*tm for about $40 bucks! a combination rake/pick/hoe/scythe/axe/machete….and if Rotzy has to go into the ‘attack mode’ to protect our gardens, well Mike, it ain’t gonna be pretty!!

Stuff
Yours truly just realized I made it through the entire week without ONE single road rage incident….AT me or BY me!….and what a relief after ‘the week from Hell’. It was definitely ‘prime tyme’ for the horn honkers and methinks they pick their spots to blast me, usually/always adding some ‘highly unimaginative’ cursing….which reflects a certain lack of education/english/grammar/manners/class. At which point I said (to myself) “Jeez Toad….why and how do you keep on taking that s–t from those —holes?! You need to shoot a couple ‘coughs’ back at them! You know the ones? The ‘far coughs’!!….they work great!!” ”Sure thing Doofus…..and that slides me right down to the ‘moron’ level, where they hang out quite comfortably! ”Look….my driving isn’t perfect….but when I’ve done nothing wrong, you had best lay off your horn! otherwise, at the next stop light or you might have a sideview mirror ‘adjusted’…or ‘removed’ ….not unlike the up-and-down arm in the Clinic parking lot last January. But, you are more likely to get Rotzy’s standard reply….”And, You have a good day, OK”?!

*Thought Of The Day… Hickory dickory dock, the Mouse ran up the clock. When the clock struck one, the Mouse s–t, then got a front paw caught in the gears. EMS came and released him….When the clock struck two. (thx ‘Grim Fairy Tales’)

Rotzy was celebratin’ Canada Day and wishing everyone a Happy Canada Day too. Continue reading →

The memory ebbs and flows…Rotzy remembers more than 10 years ago, but not the nearer decade.

“From Nakina” Gardens/Oldsters and The ”D” Word
I knew full well that it was gonna pour down rain last Thurs aft….not just because of what Zoomer 740-AM News had said, also because I had given our plot at Hope CR Church Garden a real soaking at high noon. Didn’t take long, and as I was waiting for Miz. Jo to have her hair cut at First Choice*tm, down it came! In buckets….for about ten minutes. Driving home on Power Line Rd, the entire sky looking ‘hit and miss’ and I was hoping for a good soaking at Skyline Commune Garden. Bingo. Puddles all over the parking lot as we pulled in….meaning Rotzy’s gonna be on the end of the hoe after my buckboard run. Plenty of tyme to shower, put the feet up for a bit and get ready for Fri Nite Pizza in the Algonquin Room….sounds much better than the Common Room, you think? And other than the recently re-started weekly Bingo (*see below), it’s seen precious little use for a couple ‘covided’ years. The thing that sticks in my mind is that when we go to the Algonquin Room, we have to be ‘discreet’….know what I mean? Hey….I can ‘do discreet’….and Rotzy’s gonna start putting on my best ‘discreet’ face around 3:00….wondering if just maybe ‘Guitar Bill’ (not his real name) MIGHT bring his accoustic out after Dessert? THAT is when oldsters must REALLY concentrate on ‘discreetness’….jeez, even a tiny slip….and you know what happens. To oldsters. We have too much funn! Not a good thing!! Anyway, I’ll pick up on this tomorrow (Sat) ayem and let y’all know how things went. *Sat 7:00AM Update* Well, as they say ”all’s well that ends well”….started off fine and finished up the same way. And dont’cha know, Rotzy didn’t even notice ‘discreetness’ at all….other than a hint of my own. The pizza was great….three varieties, and we brought home a doggie-bag for lunch today. Passed a dandy dessert spread as Bill and I slipped out to the patio to ‘try out a couple songs’….and for Rotzy to have a ‘puff’…..then back in to find half a dozen singers. So we did. Sing. For about an hour I guess….capped off a fine evening! Continue reading →

Healthy, healthier and healthiest

The Rotzy and Miz Jo gardens are in fine form. Miz Jo is in fine form and ole Rotzy himself is in finest form.

Summer’s near and everything is unfolding(?) as it should according to Rotz!

Excuse My Math
Yours truly wrote a “F/N” piece a couple weeks back about the Ontario Election….a somewhat ‘lame’ explanation as to why yours truly was amongst the non-voters, altho I doubt that it ‘explained’ anything. Virtually….no, I mean ‘real/live’….EVERY report Rotzy saw/heard/read on the results spoke of the 43% turnout of voters at the polls, however, Rotzy intentionally wanted to place myself amongst the NON-voters because of the HIGHER percentage/number, which I reported as 53%. Well, Miss Robinson (my Grade 2 Teacher at Major Ballachey PS) taught me adding and subtracting, like take 43% from 100% you have 57%. That upset me. because Rotzy CAN do math, like 1+1=2….but he CAN’T/NEVER COULD do algebra, like a+b-xyz+piercubedandsquare=s–t. Just like it did in Gr 9 at PJCVS. No matter….the bottom line is that 57% of Ontario DIDN’T vote! And I heard it said last week that HALF of THEM didn’t/don’t care. And that does not bode well for the future. ‘Gotta get rid of Doug Ford” was probably the biggest ‘issue’ pre-election, and what happened? Nothing! if you’re talking about Ford supporters…the 43% gave him an even BIGGER majority!! Which has NOTHING at all to do with the 57%. Or does it? (note*….”here’s an apology to you Miss Robinson from Bobby Rotz, Row 2 Seat 3 (or 4?) Class of 1952”)

Growing Stuff (*see below)
A quick update from Olde McRotzy….the wait is over for my seeds (that went in almost 2 weeks ago) to emerge from our plot here at the Skyline Commune Gdn as everything is starting to show and grow….(a Twennie-style Yippeeeeeee! for “F/N”s #2 P/R) A couple good rains, now we need le soleil! At the Hope C/R Garden I had to ‘replant’ one cucumber hill and a dozen and a half Spanish Onion bulbs….two or three ”had rotted” and the rest vanished….or were eaten by Bugs Bunny, Rocky Racoon, Rocky The Flying Squirrell (no relation) and/or their friends, seeing as we’re right beside an extensive ‘green space’ which I’m sure is home to lots of vegan-style critters. I also put my ‘Approved by Mark Cullen’ Super Deluxe Multi- Task Garden Tool to work and we’re pretty much weed-free….for the tyme being. By the bye, with ‘Mark Cullen’ clutched firmly in my hands I feel perfectly safe should a larger ‘critter’ such as While E. Coyote come up outta the gulch and hassle/frighten gardners, Rotzy’s gonna carve While E’s initials in While E’s own forehead in three seconds flat. If that doesn’t get his attention, I’ll lop off both ears. Safe and enjoyable gardening. So….SO….let it grow, let it grow, let it grow. And….GROW it will! After I gave my plot a spray with the hose yesterday, another olde guy came up to me and almost ‘proclaimed’ that because ”the hose and tap are on Hope C/R Church property we’re watering our tomatoes, cukes and cetera with Holy Water!! I’ll check today’s results….stay tuned. By the bye, Miz Jo’s verandah/porch/balcony garden also gets a thumbs up with dozens of yellow blooms on the tomato plants; the bushel of strawberry plants is happy and she pointed out some nice size berries that are getting dangerously close to ripe, I’m sure the first/biggest one is two pounds. I’ll tell ya (maybe you wanna keep this under your hat) that Rotzy is so happy/thankful to be ‘growing stuff’ (*see above) in 2022, after clearing a couple ‘medical hurdles’ along the way it makes it even more enjoyable.

It’s Against The Law….
….was a segment on my favourite Canadian talk radio show ”The Shift”….last mid-week. I usually listen between 3:30 and 5:30am….Shane Elliott from his Calgary home studio, Ryan in downtown Calgary and Glen in Vancouver….and we pick up the signal in Brant’s Ford via 900 AM CHML. They have a great variety of topics, discussion, like during the ”Are You OK With”? segments and guest interviews. Well this ayem Shane had this funny/crazy as hell ”Against The Law” item for reading, then comments. And it sure was. Funny/crazy as hell. Of course some of these laws are long gone from the books, but still one wonders WHY they were put in place and by WHOM? Yours truly didn’t have the presence of mind to take notes, hence I’ll have to lean on my less than cracker-jack short term memory. Shane opened with this one….*In Texas you can own ”as many guns as you want. OK? NO LIMIT! But you can only own SIX ‘sexual tools’ Not 9 or 10. Six. So if, for some reason, the Dildo Police raid your premises and there happen to be 8 ‘sexual tools in your sox and underwear drawer, you’re getting cuffed! *In Oshawa, it’s illegal to climb trees. (I didn’t know that) *In Ontario if/when you’re driving your car at night, the limit is 10 mph and you MUST be accompanied by someone on foot in front of you with a kerosene lantern lighting your way. That one is surely long gone. *In Sherbrooke, PQ you may NOT build a snowman taller than 30 inches. (Pourquois pas?) *Another one….in Michigan….for drivers in the VERY early days of the automobile. When you come to a STOP sign at a 4-way intersection, of course you must fully STOP, get out of your car and fire a gun in the air BEFORE proceeding through the intersection! Apparently this law was fairly short lived as it was scaring the s–t out of the wagon/buggy-pulling horses across the intersection!! *In Montreal it’s unlawful to put more than 3 1/2 inches of water in the tub. (say what?) Hey!!!! it’s the law….and as I had said earlier…..WHY and by WHOM? Obviously by ‘politicians’….as to ‘why’, your guess is as good as mine.

* Thought Of The Day…Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

‘Don’t Be Rude To Seniors’….
The first one is OUTSTANDING. Rotzy and me, both of us are planning to put these to use next opp we have to get back at anti-Seniors.

I LOVED/LOVE this one!! Check it out: *I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I’m almost 88, just sayin’. I was in the busy McDonalds drive-thru this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing me because I was taking too long to order while I was fumbling with the coupons. So, when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I’d done because as we moved up, she mouthed the words ‘thank you’, obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window, I showed them both receipts and took her food too. As I was pulling out she appeared rather ‘puzzled’ as to what had happened to her, then she had to re-join the 15-20 car lineup….at the very end. Hahaha. So it cost me a Big Mac*tm and a pop….Big Deal! it was worth it!! Don’t muck with the seniors!) ** note **….Rotzy is lovin’ it….and Rotzy IS gonna try it!!…can’t wait!!! I got it stored in my pumpkin and in fact, I’m already thinking of other ‘similar situations’ out there to use it and they’re a-plenty! Stay tuned.

Tyme To ‘Fess-Up….
Yours truly did something this week past that yours truly hasn’t done before. Or, to put it properly, DIDN’T do. Vote. I didn’t Vote….and as far as my memory will allow, it’s the very FIRST tyme since I came of voting age (the 1968 Fed Election…PET’s ‘Trudeaumania’ Victory, and no I didn’t vote for him) that I didn’t. Vote. At any/all levels….Fed/Prov//Municipal. And methinks that’s pretty safe to say as ‘my memory’ in the ‘long term’ is tickedy-boo, whilst the ‘short term’ leaves much to be desired. OK. So WHY? Or WHY NOT? Not sure. No, I don’t mean ‘not sure whom to vote for, I mean not sure why I didn’t. Vote. And I can just hear some of the “F/N” readership chiding me from the “F/N” ‘backbenches, ”the “F/N”, olde SOB has been yapping at us for years to ”Vote as you like, but Vote”! (*that is likely true*) and then HE ‘pulls a Bill Bailey’ and goes AWOL! So….SO….I got to thinking and said (to myself) “Well Toad, it’s certainly not that ‘you don’t care’….tho I can’t speak for rest of a record-setting 53% of eligible voters becoming No Shows last Thurs, but surely SOME of them don’t care, whereas Rotzy simply didn’t care to mark my ‘X’ beside ANY of the names on the ballot. NONE of them. Get rid of Ford?? Cool. But wait….are you kidding me??!! And replace him with whom/what? Ms.Horwath had already overstayed her tyme and she’s already left the building. Mr. Del Duca…who couldn’t even win his own riding….has left the building….the question remains, who let him in, in the first place??!! (*whilst Miz. Jo and Rotzy were in Nakina, the brand new ‘showcase of the north’ cable-stay bridge on #11 and #17 became The Nipigonewrong Bridge as it ‘broke in half’….and the s–t hit the fan. At the tyme Del Duca was Ms. Wynne’s Min of TRANSPORT. Minister Del Duca finally made it up to Nipigon where he was absolutely useless, whilst letting fellow Minister Michael Gravelle (Mines and N/Development) take the heat. A few years later they make Del Duca Liberal Party Leader! Say good night, Dick. As to ‘Mr.Green’….good guy/hard worker/polls say ‘he’d make the best Premier’ but in real life it takes more than ONE riding…and one or two is ALL the Green’s will EVER win! *ask Bruce Hyer, our former Green MP in Bytown. But back to Rotzy’s non-vote. I’m tired……tired of it all….the s–t they dumped all over each other (esp the last 30 days) was amazing. No….it was —-ing pathetic! The GOOD thing is that it (the actual voting process) was carried out all above board, hence there will no need to go through it all over again. Very soon Doug Ford will present the new budget….and THAT will be funn, eh?

Parking Lot Cleaning…Skyline Living Style
We all had gotten word in advance of the three day bi-yearly task….three pages of rules, tymes, ‘helpful hints’, even a map of the entire site! and cetera for residents of all three buildings and a VERY large area to be cleaned (*see below). Anyway it is/was spread over last Mon/Tues/Wed, and seeing that Edna The SUV occupies spot #58, that meant WE were on Team Monday! So…SO…you need to find an ‘alternative’ spot a day or so in advance….hang your Honda, V/W, KIA, Chev or whatever from a ‘skyhook’….or put it out front on Park Rd North. The cleaning (*see above) involves weed wackers all around curbs, then a couple guys with heavy-duty leaf/lawn blowers clearing and moving the debris….then a motorized vacuum/sweeper picks it all up like a Zamboni(*tm) at the rink. I gotta say, when all’s copacetic, they do a good job. I also gotta say that Team Mon response to moving our vehicles was exemplary….only ONE vehicle hadn’t been moved from its’ place. The judges decided to ignore it….basically because the owner is an a–hole and doesn’t count either. Anyway, Mon ‘cleaning’ done early, and the contractor decides to paint the lines and then there are people running everywhere!….and NOBODY knows yes from no, here from there, up from down or s–t from clay. However, they/we made it through Monday/Day 1. Team Tuesday vehicle removal was pathetic and yours truly saw 8 or 10 vehicles left sitting out front on the Dunsdon St side alone. Tsk, tsk, tsk people!! Not really sure where and/or when the wheels fell off, but Tuesday was ‘done’…and Wed cancelled…. however it’s not really clear how many people were advised of the ‘change’. Hard to tell if Skyline is snakebit when it comes to landscaping/lawns/snow removal woes….OR….are they nickle-and-diming again/still?!

Stuff
In The Rotzes Gardening Dept..it’s tyme to ‘hurry up and wait’….both plots are planted/seeded….onions, cukes and squash are all ‘showing’ over at Hope C/R Garden, cabbage doing fine….including four new Red I put in last week as ‘fill-ins’….here at 555 all cabbages are good and I’m waiting for all the seeds to show. And all’s well out on the #303 verandah/balcony and Miz. Jo’s H-2-0 lighted growing machine. Seeing signs of waste already over at Hope…..9 or 10 people who said ‘yes’ for 2022 haven’t touched (or likely even seen) their plots since the ground was ‘worked’ two weeks back and now they’re green as grass/chock full of weeds.

*Thought Of The Day…Jack and Jill went up the hill to……….(please fill in your own word(s).

Rights of spring in earnest as Rotzy hits the hoe, row by row

We Got Word From….
….Annette Funicello (not her real name) a couple weeks back that our (10’x10′) plots over at Hope C/R Gardens would be ready for planting by the 24th weekend….and they were, the soil worked up REALLY well by some guy with a heavy-duty roto-tiller for the 2022 growing season. Rotzy wasn’t sure about taking on TWO plots this year….here at the 555 Harris Place Commune Gdn….AND Plot #58 over at Hope, largely because of the latter. It’s the farthest one from parking and down a tricky (for me) ‘slope’. So….SO….I asked Ms. Funicello for ‘something closer’….and she ‘delivered’! Big tyme! It’s like going from worst to first, tho it’s actually from #58 to #9….with #9 being located in the middle of Row 1, rather than the end of Row 4. (*still with me?) Now, I just back Edna The SUV up to the curb, open the tailgate, and I’m gardening. A dry spell? Need watering? Well Sir/M’am, the hose, sprinkler and watering cans are four feet away from Plot #9. Hey, sometymes you’re the statue and sometymes you’re the pigeon….and as ‘the statue’, even if you manage to avoid the pigeon poop, just as sure as s–t somebody gonna come along to toss red paint all over you and/or tip you over on your head! So, coo, coo, coo. Now, as long as nobody decides to ‘help me out’, as was the case last summer, and then ‘my helper’ stomped the s–t out of #58 less than a week after I had it all planted….so….no repeats of that in ’22, thank you. To quote our ‘go-to garden expert’ from Nakina, the late Shirley Khoui….”Let’s get growing”! The biggest difference in Shirley’s advice….comparing Nakina’s zone to Brant’s Ford would surely be the ‘Safe After Date’ for setting out tomato plants and the likes was/still is June 16th ‘up north’ with May 24th the banana belt date. Miz. Jo and Rotzy were a week and a bit early with OUR tomatoes this year, planting 3 or 4 large pots around May12/13th but they’re on our balcony….and they’re doing good. I’ve got a row of green cabbage planted in The Commune Gdn and the rest will go in when it goes in (*see below). I’ve previously said in this space ‘I do it because I love to watch stuff grow’. Still do….but with a couple ‘attention getting health issues’ with my ticker earlier this year, yours truly isn’t about to try breaking Ripley’s* record for The Fastest Hoe-er/Planter In The World! Lawdy Miss Clawdy….who in hell wants THAT title anyhow??!! My/our stuff will go in the ground when I WANT it to (*see above)….not a nano-second before, OK? By the bye, here are a couple comments (one’s true the other a lie) that you often hear from gardeners….specifically those who grow mainly vegetables for their own consumption, OK? Just a quick/little ‘aside’ here, if I may…..in my one year of experience at Hope Gardens I learned that about 40% of them gardening there this year will get their plot mostly planted in a couple hours, make ONE return trip in two or three weeks to hoe/cultivate the new plants, drive home, never to see it again. No, I am NOT kidding! OK, so here’s the most common Veg Gardeners Comments….#1…..when you grow them yourself, they taste better!….plain and simple!! *That, folks, is absolutely TRUE!! Without a doubt in my mind. Don’t ask Rotzy how in the hell to ‘splain it…IT JUST DOES….and they’ve carried out extensive laboratory tests with REAL people, experts and small, furry animals. So, rest assured folks, you’ll be eating yummy produce….your parsnips and leeks will be ‘stars’ of your menus! Which is good after hearing the other Gardner Comment. ”I grow almost ALL of our own veggies and some fruit and they are SO cheap, they cost us practially nothing”. False. A BIG fat LIE. Lier, Lier, Pants On Fire!! You are putting out loads of cash on SOMETHING, but ‘little extras’, things like gas, fertilizer, seeds, plants and cetera….well, Buster, they add up and the extensive ‘costing check’ done by a Reg.CCA last August showed our medium-sized ‘Patio’ tomatoes were costing us $37.55 /lb to grow, And Tiny Tim*tm were $29.88/lb. Our Butter Cup Squash was a deal and a half,,,,only $5 Bucks each….but we only had three in total. That’s why you really gotta concentrate on their flavour. Eee-yi-eee-yi-oh.

Readers Writes
I wanted to go with this one last week, it ‘went missing’. I found it! I love it! Here it is…..in the form of a message written with a wide, black magic marker on a big piece of plain brown cardboard.,.,.,.,”Dear Putin, Let’s speed up to the part where you kill yourself in a bunker. (that worked fine for another Madman….that one was from Austria….in 1945) Isn’t it interesting/ironic that Russia just recently celebrated their victory over Germany toward the end of WW II, and now, in 2022 the boot is on the other foot as Putin gives it his best Hitler impersonation in The Ukraine….as history repeats itself.

Yours Truly Makes Mention….
….from tyme to tyme about missing the life and lifestyles of Nakina, and last weekend the feelings were even a little more ‘focused’….because….it was Opening Weekend! Yes, I’m talking about walleye, pickerel if you wish, and just like the Rites Of Spring are observed down here in the Brant’s Ford area, the same sort of thing is ‘celebrated’ in Nakina and across North and N/W Ontario. And without a doubt the ‘celebration’ is MUCH more ‘serious/intense’ than here in the South, because they have just survived a winter that you really have to be a part of before you can actually believe it, OK? Then suddenly you’re fishing ON the water….IN a boat….NOT through FOUR ft of ice! The thing is, Rotzy never was in a rush Opening Weekend as there were a number of people among our friends that we’d get a dozen or more ‘eyes’ dropped off for us Sat and Sunday….cleaned, filleted (Nakina-style) and Zip-Loc’d*tm. Bingo! I don’t want to complain about Lake Erie’s fish…walleye and perch…..but….sorry….the walleyes don’t compare to the northern variety….in taste and appearance, plus they leave the skin on one side of the fillet, and EAT IT (like a salmon tail)down here….and….they’re over $20 /lb at Loblaws Fish Dept. Truth is, if Miz. Jo and Rotzy are looking for a good fish fry it’ll likely be Arkansas farm-raised catfish, with Rocky Madsen Cajun Fish Coating. MMmmm! To our old friends up north, I trust you’re into a platter of fried walleye! MMmmmm!! Enjoy.

*Thought Of The Day…Ukrainians telling a Russian warship (who were demanding fuel) ”Go f— yourselves” is braver than some trucker bobtailing in his Kenworth along through Peterboro enroute to Ottawa, hanging off his air horn cord whilst crying about vaccines and mandates. (Amen!!)

Rotzy’s mingling and sippin’ with Olympic great, Debbie Miller

It’s Tyme….Almost
Mary, Mary, quite contrary/ Tell me how does your garden grow?/ You got Silver Bells, you got Cockleshells/ Pretty Maids all in a row. *Lyrics from ‘Walkin’ The Dog’….Written in 1963 by Rufus Thomas, ‘The Funkiest Chicken’ on Beale Street, Memphis, Tennessee….which just may get your feet moving to one of the best R&B songs ever written and/or get y’all to thinking about planting your OWN garden, as is the case with Rotzy, tho I’m concentrating more on beets, onions, radishes, carrots and cetera, leaving the ‘Silver Bells and ‘Cockleshells up to Rufus. To update the “F/N” readership, I’m waiting to be ‘assigned’ a new/different plot (closer to the hose/watering can/parking lot) than my debut year (2021) at Hope (Christian Reformed) Gardens just across the WGP (Wayne Gretzky Parkway). As to the first Rotz Plot, it’s year four in Skyline Living’s ‘Commune Gdn’ down front of #575….some of my fellow gardeners there have moved away/opted out, or opted in to one of a dozen 3-ft high ‘raised gdn boxes’, hence, the Rotzy Plot ‘doubled in size’! Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, it will all be planted….both of the plots….by the 24th. Yesterday Miz. Jo and yours truly planted tomatoes (4”-5” plants already started) in 10” and 12” pots out on our deck/verandah/balcony….2 pots of Super Sweet (like Tiny Tims) and 3 pots of Better Boy (an ‘heirloom’ type I hadn’t seen in 2 decades or more! BETTER BOY???!!! Ho-LEE cow!! I almost made a mistake in my Old Navy*tm shorts when the saleslady quipped “I’ve never seen anybody get THAT excited about a tomato”! I answered ”Excited? Wait ’til they hatch”!! Also….Jo Ann already has some herbs she ‘started inside’ in her ‘aqua grower’. So….so far, so good!

What’s Next In the Gardening World?
Or could/should I say ”outta the world”? after hearing Zoomer 740 News at 5:30 this ayem. The item referred to growing stuff like veggies in outer space, like on the Moon….or more correctly (at least for the tyme being) growing vegetables in an earthbound Lab in ‘soil’ retrieved from the Moon on an earlier mission. This process is currently in practice, which means scientist-farmers are already ‘practicing’ and excited about finding mercury in the ‘soil’, as in ‘fertilizer included’. However, as of now they’re not thinking about peas, carrots and corn…..concentrating instead on getting something as a simple clump of weeds and/or grass to ‘take hold’ in a trayfull of moon dust. No…No….NO! Not the kind of weed they’ll sell you at Seventh Heaven Stone. Can you see future astronauts enroute to the International Space Station stopping at the Moon to do an early spring planting of radishes, 2 varieties of onions, some peppers and spinach…..then off to the IPS where they work their 3 month gig, then point it home, with a 2-hour ‘Harvest Stop’ at/on the Moon, open up their folding Horn-a-plenty and it’s full in no tyme. You think? Hey, don’t ask me….Rotzy, when he was 7 or 8 years olde, never liked/thought about/believed in Buck Rogers, and if Buck was featured in the Sat Afternoon Matinee at the Odeon or Paramount, I’d be at The College to see The Three Stooges and Francis The Talking Mule. None of that ‘outer space s–t’ for me. Heck, I was still a ‘non-believer’ when ‘Close Encounters’ hit the screen. OK, OK, OK,,,,Richard Dreyfuss was/is real, but that other ‘overhead thing’? Not so much so. Now, E.T. was OK, altho I WAS over 40 by then….AND….E.T WAS a cartoon. WASN’T he? But I digress…..back to gardening….the way we’re gobbling up excellent farm land (i.e. the proposed Hwy #413) Moon Gardens doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, huh? Then Venus Veggies, and lastly, Pluto Plots ‘n Plants. Hey, Rotzy will believe it when I see it….for now we’ll stick with The Commune and Hope Gdns.

B.G.G. Stuff
A fine group/turnout for last Friday’s Brantford Guy Group meeting, outdoors at the Knights Of Columbus, our new ‘summer home’….having been relegated to the Dart & Pool Room the week prior by cool weather, but we handled it just fine….a turnout of 23 or more….in fact we even managed to ‘allow’ a woman into ‘our’ room, with the meeting in progress,,,,,a FIRST to be sure…. and she was/is definitely a LADY.

 
Debbie Miller, ’68 Olympic  hopeful….charmer she is today

….thus, Debbie Miller became ”The First Lady of the Brantford Guy Group”! Posing for a wide-angle group photo, and hugging all 23 of us. For the unaware, Debbie Miller was ”Brantford’s Darling” as a world class (ranked 8th) 100/200/Relay Sprinter, and represented Canada in the 1968 Olympics!! I daresay Ms.Miller was impressed with the BGG, and how (most of us) actually can speak in sentences of more then 5 or 6 words, also how (most of us) can complete more than one sentence in a row without needing two or three F-shots ‘to make a point’……which, readers may recall, is all about MENSA and Densa, and methinks one of our High Council briefly ‘explained’ this to Ms. Miller before she even sat down with The Group. Well, last Friday the BGG welcomed another THREE Presidents. One, I didn’t know at all….two, I thought I knew his brother well, but it wasn’t/isn’t his brother at all….three, I’ve known him for many years, and his last job (before retiring) required him to wear black robes….hence one never knows when one might need to ‘make use of black robes’….or someone wearing one, right?

Shades Of 1967
It’s Sat 14th 11:07AM…..Rotzy is NOT a die-hard Tronna hockey fan, but I’m gonna have some funn and make a prediction for the Maple Leafs/Lightning game seven….IN T.O…..here ya go….LEAFS 4/ LIGHTNING 2….no O.T….and Leafs 4th goal is an MT-Netter Nylander. Reason for the Leaf win is that they are out from under the Ghost Of Harold Ballard….they all did a big cough aimed at Maple Leaf Gardens….a ‘far cough’. Now, yours truly didn’t say diddly about Stanley,,,,but we’ll see. *f/fwd to Sunday 6:00AM*….or not.

*Thought Of The Day…I would let Alberta build a Pipeline right through my kitchen if it meant I could afford gas again!

Use of indigenous names, a no no ? Doug Ford, Ring of Fire, another no no. Rotzy’s definitely on a rant, though a clear and logical one.

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Readers Write
These are from an oldster type person who still retains a sense of humour….check ’em out! *Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out WHAT to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your entire life until you die?! (*well, ain’t THAT the truth?) **Because of COVID, for the first time since 1945 the National Spelling Bee is cancil….cancul….cansel….OK….OK….it’s been called off! Thanks folks….and keep ’em coming.

Rotzy Went Into A Semi-Rant….
….in this space last week….altho it may not have been EXACTLY in THIS space….but close enough, you know what I’m sayin’? Talking about Cda’s involvement in Putin’s War vs The Ukraine. Or, more accurately, Cda’s LACK of involvement in it. More on that in a minute, but there’s this ‘thing’ that’s being omitted from any and all news reports, ‘breaking and otherwise’….or maybe it’s just me? The lists of wounded and dead from Ukraine are constant/non-stop….DAILY (*see below). Yet I NEVER hear a tally of Russian casualities….wounded and dead. OK, OK…..I shan’t say ‘never’, but I can say for a month or more….and 10,000 fewer Ruskies seems to ring a bell. Anybody help me with this ‘thing’? I guess I coulda Googled*tm it up but I was busy ‘Googling’tm the Cdn Ministry of Defence, following Min. Anita Anand’s ‘big’ announcement I picked up on Zoomer 740 News at 5:00 this ayem! (*if you haven’t heard this you may wish to sit down) Min. Anand is sending/has sent 12 RCMP Officers….TWELVE!….to the Ukraine to help investigate a growing/out of control number of female civilian rapes by Russian soldiers…..to see if they qualify as ‘war hate crimes’. Or something close to that. Well it says here Putin’s run into an ‘enemy’ a LOT tougher/more committed than he ever imagined, hence he’s changed his ‘tactics’ and made it ‘open season’ on the general population….male or female….and ‘relaxed the rules of battle’ on his young male soldiers, IF there ever were any in the first place. Rules. Anyway, Cda’s response to The Ukraine’s most recent pleas for HELP! results in a DOZEN police officers heading off to war….sort of, altho I know not if they’re on horseback and sporting the famous red tunics and hats. Well, I don’t know Min. Anan well/at all, but when I heard her message, let’s just say she might be better suited in another Ministry…..maybe Tourism? Ahh, never mind. But FYI, did you know that 24,000 people work for the Min Of Defence!…..twenty-four thousand!!….and that’s not counting ANY of the armed forces…army/navy/airforce/coastguard/rangers, you-name-it. And we send these desperate/hanging-on-by-a-thread people 12 ‘Sgt Preston’ wannabe’s. Tell you what….forget Min. Anita….this thing’s got Trudeau written all over it. One more note on the Ministry of Defence …..their Budget for 2020 was $21.16 Billion, OK? A whole lot of people would have you believe/tell you flat out that THAT amount is THE most expensive Ministry. It’s NOT!….Rotzy’s not about to get into a major squirting contest here, so go check it out. AND in truth it’s WAY below where it needs to be….especially in the 2000’s. Not a new problem, in fact Papa Trudeau encouraged a ‘cheap MND’. But, 12 Mounties? Imagine. Pierre would love it.

Stuff….
Tyson The Cart Guy (not his real name), my main sports info guy over at Zehr’s, gives me the TV rundown for games (MLB/NHL/NBA) each night, and Miz. Jo is always on top of the Jays games, so last Thurs aft he said ‘Jays at Cleveland at 7:00PM’……’cool, thanks, Ty’. Miz Jo had the game on and I landed after supper. Took a while, at first I’m wondering if Miz Jo had the right channel on as I said (to myself) (‘Hey Toad….WTF goes? Where are the Indians? The Cleveland Guardians? Really?! Toad….you must have drifted off. Where in **** did they scoop those ugly/beer-league sweaters’? Then it clicked in….aha…..another one bites the dust. Just like Washington’s NFL Team, the ‘Once Upon A Time Redskins’ (*ooops….’bad word’….see below). S–t, I guess Atlanta’s next. Oh well, I guess somebody, somewhere in Cleveland is pleased, and that’s cool. Hey, last Thurs nite it didn’t matter….dumb name and bad outfits aside, they thumped the Blue Jays pretty good.

Hey again….speaking of ‘name changes’, stick with me on this, OK?….it has nothing to do with aboriginality. What if you had been borne a bird? Like, a Gray Jay! Then about four decades ago along comes this upstart MLB team in T.O…..and somebody names them the Blue Jays! I mean would you not feel rather (pick one); left out/sad/mad/glad/made fun of/wanting ‘same species reimbursement’/a split in TV revenues/a free corporate box. Or a name change to The Gray Jays??!! Now you’re talking right, ‘Lefty’….hell, I’d go with Gray Jays, thumbs down!….we had scads of them up north, in Nakina and out at camp. Their blue cousins are nicely coloured, I’ll give ’em that much…..but the GRAYS?! They’re bigger, smarter, surely more trainable…..AND if you didn’t know this….they are also known as the CANADA JAY! Well Sir/M’am, if that isn’t some P/R firm’s marketing dream come true, I don’t know what is??!! They’ve openly been trying to sell the Blue Jays as ‘Canada’s Team’ for some tyme now….. so…. SO…. well….duh!…. just think about it….’The Canada Jays’! From Vancouver, B.C. to Whale Cove, Baffin Island to Gander, Nfld/Labrador. It would catch on immediately and I betcha even Torontonians would like it! Certainly much more than former ‘Indians’ fans(*see above* if this word ‘offends’ anyone, that is the problem of the reader) in Cleveland are enjoying being called the ‘Guardians’.(*note* Cleveland is sometymes referred to as ‘the mistake by the lake’. Bingo. So, what about Atlanta Braves (*ooops)?

More Stuff
‘Breaking news’ dept? Hardly. Premier Ford’s campaign bus was in SS Marie yesterday (Fri 7th) trying to get their candidate elected by hanging their PC hat on The Ring Of Fire….if you don’t know/remember it, go Google*tm it. The RoF, with the ‘290-mile all-season road, record-setting metal deposits, ya-da, ya-da, yoo. Look Doug….this news was ‘breaking’ about 22 years ago as Rotzy recalls. Lotsa ‘yays’….but more ‘nays’ than you can shake a stick….or a stake, for that matter….at. Mostly NIMBY (*Google it) stuff. By the bye, a new potential malcontent surfaced recently….the Hudson Bay Lowlands Peat! This could be a REAL bad setback….not about $$ this tyme, but all about carbon dioxide and climate control. And forget your all-season road! as RAIL is the ONLY way to move the material. Hey…..forget the whole thing! Jeez! Around 15 years ago yours truly swore ”I’d never write another word on that —-ing ‘white elephant’ again”. Hey….go for it Dougie! You da man!’ Nuff said, Rotzy….settle down olde guy….’twas just a little slip of the memory.

*Thought of The Day…Blow on the wine in your (XL) coffee mug to convince the rest of your zoom meeting that it is tea.

Rotzy laments some of the lamentations that come with ageing: health, girth, height decrease, memory instability. Life unfolding normally and its many challenges. But his sense of humour and his opinions and political barbs are as sharp as ever.

It’s Friday 8:25AM….
….and methinks I’ll get a head start on next week’s “F/N” column….I’m thinking it’s better/easier when I spread it over three days rather than Sat and Sun. For starters I can’t recall if last week’s contained ‘Rotzy’s Health Update’ or not? and I can’t access a copy of it at the moment, so I’ll go ahead and get y’all current. Tuesday was my cardiologist visit and I’m calling it a success, as I produced a B/P of 121/70 61P right off the bat, an ECG that apparently was fine, and seeing as he doesn’t want/need to see me again until October; Wed….VON 7:20AM…..legs….all clear….elbow re-bandaged….appt for next Wed; family doctor Wed 10:15AM good report….slight changes in three different meds….Wed. 11:00AM Pharmacist…..p/up my pill packs and review the ‘changes’ made by Doctor; Friday 11:45AM….EMS….regular monthly visit for Miz. Jo and Rotzy down in the Algonquin Room here at Harris Place to check our temp, B/P, changes in prescriptions, COVID info, and cetera. Hence we each have our own booklet with all our pertinent info if/when we need an ambulance. A very worthwhile program that more oldsters here in Skyline’s 3 building ‘compound’ could/should be making use of, you think? Anyway, thee highlight of the week for the olde guy came during my Wednesday ayem doctor’s appointment as his nurse did the ‘routine stuff’….take my B/P, climb onto the Toledo’s, both of which went well, then my height….which they don’t always bother with, and FINE by me! Rotzy used to stand 6′ 1” above sea level, but somehow through gravity, 9 knee operations and 2 back surgeries, I’ve been checking in 5’ 7 3/4”. Well folks, just call me ‘Stretch’….as that is what I did…..I ‘stretched’!…..’internally’ I suppose….NO, not stepping on my tippy-toes, just a concerted effort to standup straighter. And I DID!! as the top of yours truly’s pumpkin reached 5′ 8” on the measuring device. Now I’m wondering if a tad more effort might result in the olde guy getting up to the ‘rarified air zone’ around 5′ 9”?! Imagine. Stay tuned.

‘Back In The Day’….
Getting Bits And Pieces….
….of Ottawa Protest…The Sequel….up to last weekend. You know, the guys and gals on their Harley Hogs and Honda Gold Wings en route to Bytown to…..to…..to….WTF is it they were/are gonna do?? The Freedom Ride To Honour Veterans….c’mon, that’s not really what it’s about, however it COULD/SHOULD mean The Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier won’t be danced, pranced and shat upon this tyme. Plus a couple ‘other’ titles/reasons. I picked up some tidbits from a little chinwag with two other BGG members and there was no mistaking that 75-80% of these 350 to 400 ‘Bytown-Bound Bikers’ are definitely ensconced in the DENSA division of MENSA. It’s coming out loud and clear to Rotzy since last mid-week that their ride is all about MANDATES….just like it was with the first bunch of protesters-turned-rioters. But wait a minute….the #2 crew is 1/4 the size of #1…..the bikes don’t have air horns…..*do they?….most know where Pt Dover is for Friday The 13th Rides, but a lot of ’em can’t find ‘Bytown’ in a Rand/McNally ….those who DO make it will immediately find a new Police Chief…who has balls….and a force ready and willing to protect its’ citizens….and Ottawans (Ottawanians, Ottawaites….go with Bytowners) especially restaurant/fooderies/bars are more than willing to tell the ‘visitors’ that ”we don’t want you”….”go on home” and cetera. Rotzy’s betting they ‘cough’ a lot too, you know, those ‘far coughs’?! Bye the bye, I know not where our ‘leader’ is during this?(*see below) So….SO….I said (to myself) ”WTF is next for our poor capital? A thousand electric cars converge on Ottawa on Canada Day….Trudeau finally makes an appearance, on the THIRD protest/invasion, welcomes/congratulates them, excludes them from his ‘carbon tax! and they all ‘plug in’ at once, leaving the capital in a 3-day ‘brown out’. Most of the signs read “No More Mandates…On anything.

A Sad Tale….But True
Whilst President Volodomir is BEGGING for Weapons, Planes, Tanks, People and cetera, Junior Trudeau is popping off on the damage Canada has done to Russian infrastructure by means of SANCTIONS against certain Ruskie citizens and/or corporations….of late it would appear we’re taken aim on Putin’s two daughters. Really? Well now, THAT is gonna be the heck of Moscow, you think? Look….that’s all we can do….that and buy them new stuff…..from abroad. Can you hear a fone call from Volod to J/T? ”Look Justin…..I need planes….fighter jets”! “OK, Mr President….I’m a tad shy right now…..BUT…..I can give you 2 or 3 F-14’s…..4 Harvard Trainers (good planes)…..a Hercules Transport…..A Lancaster Bomber….PLUS you can have the Blue Angels precision team….there’s 5 or 6 of them. A big two-blade chopper” and a Sopwith Camel float plane. What about soldiers”? ”We’re about 10,000 short at the moment but we’ll try….Don’t forget we have to keep control of the Canada/Russia Border up in the Arctic Circle”! *The Truth*? Junior is embarrassed to talk about ‘Defence’….as he SHOULD be. Hey Canada…..we kicked their Yankee asses in 1814, set fire to their (former) White House on our way home! But face it Junior, Uncle Sam has covered our Canuck asses pretty much ever since.

*Thought Of The Day…At the end of the day, it’s…………………………….night.