Snow, cold, old man winter…all add up to a grumpier Rotzy!

HO! HO! HO!
          Merry Christmas (belated) from unit #303 here at Harris Place in Brant’s Ford….a gray, almost drizzly, but mild for Dec 25th (+9C called for) day (*see below). Rotzy was up even EARLIER today than normal (don’t ask), grabbing my coffee to head down to Edna for a puff, still pitch dark as I glanced out  the window, when what to my wondering eyes did appear, (*keep this one under your hat, and it had nothing to do with a  ‘splash’ of Bailey’s in my Presidents Choice Dark Roast Coffee, OK?) but a large red sleigh was turning north at the end of our parking lot….and NO TURN SIGNAL!! Just like all those old farts (one in four) who have the ‘right of way’ coming into the parking lot at Fairvew Mall! Methinks they like to keep you guessing? Anyway, the sleigh made it outta here OK, if only for the fact there was no other traffic. So….SO….even tho it’s the 25th, it still IS Sat, and that means putting an hour or three into next week’s column as Miz. Jo and yours truly don’t open our presents for a while yet. What’s amazing is the temp here today (*see above), after we had 3 or 4 inches of SNOW yesterday ayem, however we knew it couldn’t/wouldn’t last. But just in case, Rotzy cleared off more than a dozen cars… a ‘winter hobby’ of mine. But no White Christmas anywhere around these parts. Not so up there in our olde stomping grounds as Miz Jo quoted me a near-30C temperature for Nakina a day or three ago and she showed me a picture of the plowed snow that Norman (not his real name) sent from Geraldton on Facebook*tm. Actually, it’s remained mild enough here that Rotzy is still wearing shorts…. yes, outside too….in fact I’m sporting my new/favourite pair that Miz. Jo gave me for our 44th Anniversary on Dec 22nd! Most people here in our building (and beyond) are by now certain that this olde guy’s elevator is ‘stuck between floors’ and that’s cool. But not cold, OK?

Readers Write
          Here’s a couple items from TLN HQ….the first one I would venture is cause for concern! Check ’em out: * I saw this guy today at Starbucks. No I-phone, no tablet, no laptop.. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath. (scary stuff!) **When a woman says ”correct me if I’m wrong”….do not under any, I mean ANY circumstances do it. Keep ’em coming folks.

“From Nakina” Last Week Quoted….
          one of ONT’s top health officials, who had said a week before that ”We/Ontario (are) on a course to hit 10,000 new COVID cases a day BY Xmas”. Well folks, we did it!! Hey, Rotzy’s not gonna bicker over a couple hundred cases, give or take. The thing is, this ‘accomplishment’ isn’t necessarily something we wanna ‘stick our collective chests out about’. You think? The ‘other’ thing is, we/Ontario are in the middle of the busiest two weeks of the year…..and if you have an IQ higher than that of porridge, you MAY conclude that the ‘10,000 a day’ count is NOT apt to go down….any tyme soon. Maybe a month from now? Maybe two? The third ‘other’ thing is that Delta is ‘yesterday’s news, OMICRON is ‘the new variant’, and opinions abound….”it’s less invasive, it’s not as bad, its’ symptoms aren’t as serious”, and cetera, and cetera (*see below). Well, yours truly and Miz. Jo don’t know anybody who has come down with it, or even tested positive…..but if it’s COVID….and it most surely IS!….it can/will take lives. It will also take a huge toll on hospitals!! OK? OK. So, what do we do we/Ontario gotta do? Wash your hands. Wear a masque. You know the drill!  (*Jeez….I’m tired of writing this s–t!!) And go and get your needles like good girls and boys… yes, you’re excused from The Dunce Corner to go and do just that. Yes, We/Ontario can. We can’t control what happens elsewhere…. like the mess in Quebec, in Alberta, Russia, Australia, what Trump did or didn’t do, or Cleveland, Ohio….where 80,000 Dawgs (fans) cheered on their NFL Browns last week, with maybe 150 of them wearing masks. ‘Nuff said!!! Go get vaccinated/boostered!!!

Crossings And Stuff
          Got an email a week and a bit ago from an old friend up north about the CN rail crossings at Nakina and just up #641 to  Aroland First Nation, tho the latter had ‘steel plates’ installed at one tyme. He was lamenting their condition and how ‘bone jarring’ it is crossing at  Aroland….and trying to get Canadian National to fix it is like pulling teeth!! Actually, it’s much worse than that!! How that took me back in tyme to when Miz. Jo and Rotzy were putting out TNN….The Nakina News monthly, before “From Nakina”….and we had the same problem coming into Nakina on Hwy #584….which TNN called The Michael Gravelle Freeway, after our long-tyme MPP. Anyway, back then the Nakina Crossing was much WORSE than Aroland and I remember doing a write-up, with a picture showing the damage (ruined tire and rim) to a Nakina teacher’s van after she hit ‘the crater’ even at reduced speed. And when the Fish And Game Club’s Bass Derby was on we were terrified one of the competitors coming from out of town would lose their $25-$50,000 boat and trailer right there, but I guess we got lucky. The CN ‘person in charge’ was a woman in Montreal and she was a real treat….(not)…..but that was more than 15 years ago so hopefully my Aroland pal won’t have HER to deal with. Thing I learned about CNR is that ‘nothing is wrong’….with anything….derailment or not! Ever. And the ‘lady’ CNR Cop carried a gun, so ‘don’t go snooping’!! Rotzy was doing just that….snooping….for TNN….at a derailment a mile or so east of Nakina and she ‘removed me (from near the scene) numerous tymes, until I finally said (to myself) “Hey Toad, move it before she ‘cuffs’ you”. Anyway, good luck to my pal on getting some/any action from CNR.

While We’re Talking About ‘The North’….
          it just occurred to me that The Municipality of Greenstone, unless I’m mistaken here, is TWENTY years olde. NO….WAIT….DAMN!….that was LAST year, January 1, 2021. Well January 1, 2001, was AMALGAMATION DAY so Nakina had a big dinner party and dance (with The JKMG Band from Aroland) at The Rec Centre….all free/gratis. Why? Because Nakina was ‘in the black’ and dropped a few hundred K’s into Greenstone’s new account….the ONLY one of the ‘new wards’ not severely ‘in the red’. Anyway, Rotzy was ‘appointed’ (by Town clerk Kim Frech) as a member of the first two Nakina Advisory Committees. I went to all the meetings but felt kinda felt like a ‘double agent of sorts’….yours truly was one of the LARGE majorities of Nakinaites who wanted NO PART of Greenstone and we fought like hell to stay Nakina. It fell on deaf ears….even in the courts….the last of Mike Harris/Ernie Eves ‘supersize everything effort’. I even went to a few G/stone Council Meetings at ‘the olde place’ up on the hill, which was like a ship’s galley, where I argued with Mayor Charlie….sometymes with coughs and far coughs ….yet Le Maire and I liked each other. One Gerbilton Councillor didn’t know that and was gonna help the Mayor and punch me out right there in the hallway. OK, Bub. But Charlie settled it immediately, and methinks (obviously without saying it publicly) he was already seeing what a disaster this Greenstone amalgamation was…..and it was all about $$…..TCPL Tax Money….the Pipe Line was paying Ontario $7 Million ‘rent’ for the affected land, money which would then go to Greenstone. As a Geraldton Councillor (and BIG amalgamation fan) said to Rotzy at the ‘A-Day’ Promotion Campaign at the Rec Centre “What would YOU do with Seven Million’ Dollars’? I asked ”do  you mean if I was Greenstone”? ”Yessir” Well, ”I’d use a good chunk of it to get rid of the ****ing ‘Red Ink’ that you and each of the other ‘new wards’ brought with them….accept for Nakina, who brought a pile of THEIR money to the ‘party’. ” Of course, Greenstone never did get the  $7 Million from TCPL. It ‘became $3 Million!!! A little ‘last minute deal’ cooked by P/C MPP Tony Clement, the Min in Charge. Tony also knew this amalgamation wasn’t gonna work but did nothing to stop it. MPP Clement went on to become Conservative MY Tony Clement, then one of P/M Harper’s ‘inner-circle’. Then one day ‘the circle wasn’t unbroken’….Tony was a BAD boy….and became the ‘disgraced MP Tony Clement’. Jeez, I wonder if Greenstone is up to 7 Million TCPL dollars a year yet? I mean, twenty years? inflation? Must be getting close, eh? Anyway, here’s to the Municipality Of Greenstone’s next twenty!

*Thought Of The Day…New Year’s Toast….*Here’s to nipples! Without them titties would be pointless!  (Bonne Annee!)

Is “Christmas is adding another layer of anxiety to people” a bit of Rotzy thinking at this time of the year?

Rotzy’s Got ‘The Blues’….
No, no, no, no…..not the oft ‘seasonal’ Christmas Blues that seems to run rampant at this tyme of year….of course heightened by this pandemic….or the likes. Nope….I’m talking about some real, more Sirius Blues!!….(pron. bah-LOOZ) Well, that is, I HAD ’em….for a week or so. The bah-LOOZ that is. But I done LOST ’em (*see below). This past Tuesday ayem if my memory serves me well. I’m talking about ‘SIRIUS*XM (*tm)’, OK? But, I digress. As I’ve said, I’ve been getting to know Edna The Equinox….hereinafter referred to as ‘Edna’, OK?….since Miz. Jo and I became a ‘one vehicle family’. Well, as the readership may be aware, Rotzy’s ‘from the olde school’, which means the 2015 Equinox Manual shall remain in the glove box, whilst I ‘learn by doing’ and/or ‘trial and error’. Anyway, I was ‘tinkering around’ with buttons and knobs and up onto the screen comes ‘SIRIUS*XM’….complete with a couple thousand stations/channels/what-have-you. Whoa! Now, for the last three years we’ve only had access set to TWO radio stations….92.9 The Grand F/M and 740 Zoomer AM…plus an ‘advertisement’ for ‘SIRIUS’*….but now I was looking at the whole enchilada!! Including B.B.King’s Bluesville 88 F/M,,,,named ”88” for Riley’s song ”Rocket 88”. Well….Rotzy ‘got the bah-looz’ and so Rotzy ‘pounced’ on it/them! But good!! So….SO….I find myself listenin’ to ‘Saffire The Uppity  Blues Woman’, then Big Mama Thornton doing ‘Hound Dog’….followed by the Kings….B.B., Freddie and Albert with SRV (Stevie Ray Vaughn). A ‘whole mess of  bah-LOOZ’….and then, after a week of being ‘in heaven’ (musically) I ‘lost’ ’em (*see above) S–t! To quote B.B.himself, ‘The Thrill Is Gone’!! And I’m frantically turning dials/switches/buttons but all that comes on screen is the SIRIUS FM advertisement….and I said (to myself) “Hey Toad, do not despair, it was likely just a week-long promotional deal….you  know, a ‘freebee’ to try and sign y’all up! No sweat man, because you not only got to enjoy the freebie, but you also figured out the disc (CD) player…you even scooped that great Ray Charles CD from the ‘giveaway table’ in the 555 H/P Lobby. So, get over it, Toad…..maybe you wanna hum a few bars of Elvis’s Blue Christmas”?

Readers Write
‘E/V’s was/is a hot topic these days….’E/V’s being the short version of Electrical Vehicles. Yours truly forgets from whom my email arrived here at “F/N”HQ, but no matter….it was a VERY well written item (albeit rather long) and a whole LOT of thinking and mentally trying to plan ahead for its’ eventual happening. Rotzy is NOT a fan of this plan. At all. So….SO….let’s talk about North America….only…..and cars and small trucks….only….OK? Not trains, planes or boats/ships. A percentage of them? Sounds fine to me ….we’ll work out how many and a deadline….altho Junior Trudeau is committed to make Canada a ‘world leader’ aiming for ”ZERO Emissions” by the year 2040. Say what?….”aim high and your deeds will grow”?? That will NOT happen. Period. Here’s one for the P/M to answer….between 2030 and 2035 all gas-powered cars and small trucks are gone….replaced by E/V’s…..where is the electricity gonna come from to operate them?? If you say/said ‘windmills’….pick up a ‘Dunce’ hat and go stand in the corner with Justin and the rest. And whilst you’re there perhaps Junior can tell you ”what on earth”….oops, bad choice of words….”(he) plans to do with the millions upon billions of DEAD batteries, from AAA to the size of your ice box. Put them WHERE?! Meanwhile, one fellow pictured houses along a street, all using electricity all day long, Mom and Dad both arrive home from work, each plugging their car in for the nite, like all their neighbours do/already did.  Poof! That would be a helluva fuse to blow, eh? And ‘brownouts’ galore. **Memo to the P/M….you/we will NOT get 100% emmission free!….so get a new plan!! (*but don’t axe David Suzuki for any input) Also…..pay attention now!!!….if China and India (you know….those ‘developing countries’!) don’t get on board for this ‘greening process’ and comply, or even try, to improve THEIR sorry-ass situations, forget it….because anything/everything positive that Canada does or doesn’t do will be totally negated by their inaction. Got it??!!

More Blues….
….only this tyme I’m not talking about bah-LOOZ….the guy on BB King’s station the other day explained ”even tho the lyrics behind many/most bah-LOOZ songs is often sad, listening to/hearing the tune actually makes you feel GOOD” and Rotzy couldn’t agree more!! Well, these blues are just good, olde-fashioned ‘blooze’. And Rotzy had a ‘wake-up call’ this morning (Sat) whilst having a puff with my ayem coffee at about 5:00….you want a GOOD dose of the BLUES?….the non-musical ones?….You sure you can handle it? Well then brother/sister, listen to The News! That’s what I did. CBC Radio Canada….89.1 FM ‘World Report’. Within two minutes I heard about 100 + tornado deaths in Kentucky…..then a MAJOR COVID update….new cases reported in Ontario….1300 Thursday and 1450 yesterday. How much worse this new variant OMICRON is gonna be than Delta. On, and on, and on, and on it went. Hoping for a ‘reprieve’ when sports came on, but the Raptors lost. Again. Blues all around. Anne Murray knew what she was doing 30 years back when she sang ”we really could use a little good news today”. Hell it’s even much more meaningful today. Riding down on the elevator here at Harris Place with a couple who live up on the 7th floor, we got to talking  after marveling at the warm temperatures last week (it was +17 in Brant’s Ford on Friday) the conversation got around to ‘the future’ and what’s in store. The guy asked “Ready for Xmas”? I replied “Getting there…tree up, decorating tomorrow”. ”Jeez, with the COVID numbers going crazy again, looks like maybe another ‘limited Dec 25th’, you think?” “Bet on it”. “When do you ‘spose we’ll be back to ‘normal’ ?”  ”We ARE normal sir….welcome to the NEW normal. Then he coughed a ”Far cough” adding ”no way!” “Way!! If YOUR ‘normal’ means ‘the way we were’….forget it”. ”S–t. What a fine kettle of fish.” “And the ‘new kid (variant) on the block’, OMICRON, is just getting started! Imagine! Hey….have a good day!”

Stuff
We started setting out some of Miz. Jo’s knitted things on the ‘giveaway table’ (which was/is already looking quite festive) down in the lobby….’tis the season, you know….HO! HO! HO!….and they’re going like hotcakes. Or should I say ‘Christmas cakes? Between late yesterday aft and now (Sun.11:00AM) folks have helped themselves to a couple dozen Jo Bears*tm, some kids’ mittens and matching Bear/Car Blanket Combo’s, just in tyme for some little ones’ Christmas. **Monday 5:00AM Bulletin…It’s ALL GONE!  EVERYTHING!!** Got my new glasses Tuesday….they’re great! Miz. Jo had her appointment Friday and her new ones will be here by Xmas….and she’s very excited about them. *After dropping her off here at 555 Harris Place Rotzy was off to the Navy Club for the final  BGG (Brantford Guy Group) Meeting of 2021. A fine turnout, a few new Presidents installed….very little business (new or olde) on the agenda….but definitely more laughing, hand shakes and pats on the back. See y’all in January. I was a tad later than usual on Saturday’s buckboard run, yet as I approached The In And Out Store at the Lynden Mall, there they were again this week….the Anti-Vaccers!….13 or 14 of ’em, a Motley Cru indeed with their poorly made signs getting hammered by the 90 k/mh winds. In fact, one smallish woman looked like she was a jib sail coming loose. Anyway, Rotzy’s into a bit of a dilemma….they gotta be acknowledged as ‘Dink Of The Week’, but could/would/should it be as one OR individually. Lemme know readers.

*Thought Of The Day….Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruit.

Rotzy’s got no problems with the upper body….the lower body….mehhh !

Readers Write….
….and this one had a field day taking shots at the anti-vaccers….you know, the ones that have RIGHTS! Right? Yes….THEM!!  Check ’em out: *If you can fart through your jeans, you can breathe through your mask. (that one was submitted by a first grader) **We have to stop saying ”How stupid can you be”? Too many people are seeing it as a challenge. ***It’s amazing how many parents went from ‘I don’t understand my child’s 6th Grade Math’ to ‘I’m an infectious diseases expert’ in just six months!

Miz. Jo’s On A Mission….
….of sorts, to improve her vision, in particular the ‘double vision’, which occurs regularly and at the most inopportune tymes . It’s also the main reason she did not renew her drivers license. Anyway, she pretty much knows what ‘needs doing’….and the ‘procedure’ will require an opthalmologist (sp?)….and to see one of them she needs to see her/our family physician, which she did last Thurs, and then a visit with a Doctor of Optometry, whom she sees this Fri…..and THEN to ‘the #1 Doctor’, who, hopefully, can/will fix the problem, Actually, Miz. Jo ‘took one for the team’ last Thurs (Rotzy being ‘the team) as her appointment was likely gonna collide with an ultrasound examination on my leg (*see below), hence she backed off a week. Meanwhile, yours truly also saw the optometrist….Fri at Noon….and dont’cha know Rotzy is gonna be sportin’ new specs any day now! And by the bye, Rotzy is also ‘sportin’ a pair of cataracts, which means I go to the guy Jo Ann’s gonna see….or somebody like him/her….and have them surgically removed. Apparently in a year or two. Or whenever. So I axed Dr Brown (the optometrist) if they can do it/them ‘posthumously’, and, well, altho it kind of ‘caught her off guard’ she didn’t seem to think so. She DID, however, indicate Miz. Jo’s procedure would be before my cataracts, then she added (I) will need glasses (again) when the cataracts are removed. I suppose if it’s ‘posthumous’ I wouldn’t/won’t care a damn….otherwise we’d have to scrape up another $500 bucks or so. Hey….whatever the cost(s), it’ll be swell for the two of us to have improved vision.

Norm The Truck….
….popped into my pumpkin as I stared blankly at a few health pamphlets in the doctor’s waiting room whilst Miz. Jo was inside doing her eye test and Norm came into my mind….three weeks ago he went to Right Choice Car Sales, right across Charing Cross from the clinic, so when Miz. Jo emerged from her eye exam I said ”let’s see if Norm’s on the lot yet. So we did, but Norm wasn’t. On the lot yet. But I returned a couple or three days later after picking up some meds from the pharmacy and there he was! Looking like a million bucks….not like a fourteen-yr-olde pickup….with about ten of those years running ‘bush roads’ when Nakina was his home. A ‘Certified’ sign where the front license plate goes and a ‘Sold’ sign hanging from the rearview mirror. The box black and shiny, some other touch-up spots, and his 4 yr-olde  BF Goodrich 4×4 tyres looking like they’ve got another 4 years to go. Dave The Salesman was not part of Norm’s purchase from Rotzy, but we’d chatted awhile, so I suspect he remembered me, and came over to shoot the s–t…..and we did. So….SO….I eventually axed him what Norm sold for and without batting an eye, he said $7995.00….and yours truly almost made a mistake in my Fruit Of The Looms!! He noticed my reaction and quickly said ”well we DID have to put SOME $$ into it”. I was gonna give him a ‘cough’….likely a ‘far cough’ but thought better of it. Instead I just said (directly to the black Nissan pickup) ”Norm…..somebody got themself a great truck, eh”? and gave Norm a couple pats on the hood”. Now Dave The Salesman gives me a ”Hey….you just talked to a truck! Named Norm?!” I said ”Yep, but not anymore….now it’s Edna. Hey Dave! Norm really IS a great truck you know”?! Dave took a drag on his cigarette, smiled and said ”I know”.

D.O.T.W. ….  
….will be/is a new thing for “From Nakina”. After chats with a couple/few/regular/long tyme readers, we’re gonna get a D.O.T.W. Contest up and running….maybe next week….The Dink Of The Week Contest. It’s abundantly clear there is NO shortage of Dinks these days….they’re EVERYWHERE! Politics, sports, TV/Radio, everyday life and living….the famous AND the unfamous….it won’t be ‘racist’ and/or ‘sexist’….we don’t do that s–t here at “F/N”. As always, I’ll come up with some prizes…for the Dinks AND those nominating them. So c’mon and email us YOUR favourite Dink….along with your reason for nominating them! We’re at jbrotz@bell.net….and yes, we’ll accept multiple Dink nominations!

Rotzy’s Health Update
This item’s gonna be some kind of mumble-jumble and not likely all in chronological order….as the days go, OK? But I’ll try. So….SO….after a month or two of ‘clear sailing’ in regard to swelling (fluid) in my lower extremities (legs/ankles/feet) and popping ‘ulcers’ from which the fluids drain, the ‘feelgood’ attitude was replaced by ‘concerns’ from Rotzy and Nurse Jo Ann (R/N ret.) Within two days my RIGHT calf suddenly resembled football/baseball player Bo Jackson’s leg….big….whilst the left (normal) one was more like Michael Jackson’s size. But it was NOT the same kind of swelling as when I had the congestive heart failure thing in March….or in Sept with the angina thing. I said, well THAT’S a good thing, eh? Off to the doctor or to find a walk-in clinic….and a miracle happened….a cancellation allowed me to SEE Dr I….in person!!! So, he’s thinking a bad infection, blood cot or SELL-ewe-LIGHT-uss….none of which are much funn apparently. Nurse Jo was/is NOT happy with the latter. An ultrasound next day ruled out the clots. Now, I’m already booked to see a vascular surgeon in Hamilton late Jan.  Anyway, as of today, Sun 5th, I’m on Day 4 of my Antibiotics and back on with V.O.N. for 3 dressing changes and cetera Mon/Wed/Fri. and I guess it’s ‘SNAFU’ for now. Nurse Jo  ‘got all my attention’ last Wed or Thurs saying ”you’ve got to get that fixed or you could lose your leg. I said ”that would be the heck of me!”….or something like that.  Adding ”nobody’s gonna take nothing from/off Rotzy!!” And meaning it.

And Just To Show I Was/Am Serious….
    I had a ‘rage incident’ next day. Coming outta the clinic after my ultrasound….feeling damned FINE after hearing ”no clots”….a loonie and a twonie safely in my pocket in advance for the $3 Flat Fee. Long story short….BUT!!…you gotta keep this under your hats, OK? OK!!!!??? So….SO,,,,there are TWO machines to take your coins….NEITHER one worked! I tried them both 3 or 4 tymes….(they ‘sounded empty’)….and they kept on shooting the coins back out onto the pavement….their fone??….I pushed the button a lot of tymes, but all I heard were ‘coughs’ coming back at me….re-playing my own ‘far coughs’. Then a little 90-yr olde lady stopped to ‘help me’….but I’m still busy cursing into the fone. Then I see her leaning all of her 75 lbs into the metal arm that goes up and down to see how far it bends. I said ”thank you m’am, now if you’d just step back a way I’ll show you how”. I guess it was then she decided to leave…..the arm was metal, looked quite new, and held in place by 6 or more nutz & bolts….I put my 216.6 lbs (I had just weighed myself in the clinic) into it, checking my balance. CRASH-BANG…down it went….sweet victory was mine. A young lady was coming in as yours truly was setting the arm out of the way and said “oh my”! I replied ”Your $3 fee is free/gratis today m’am”!! As I was driving out toward the street I caught up to the little, olde lady, thanked her for her help and apologized for my language. She replied “have a nice day”.

“Thought Of  The Day…”Don’t Get Vaccinated” A sign, nicely painted lettering on the side of a van owned by ‘Wilmore Funeral Home’. **2nd TOTD***  ”Oss….Kee….Wee….Wee”!!  *** ”Go Cats, GO”!!!

Rotzy has a gnat problem, so it’s off to war !

World War III….
….is officially underway, with Miz. Jo having launched a ‘major offensive’ here in Unit #303 early last week against The Gnats From Hell…..which yours truly pronounces ”guh-NATS”….because when you say NATS, the ‘G’ being silent, people stare at you like one of your oars is outta the water. I found that ‘NATS’ ‘doesn’t even register’ with 4 out of 5 people….and believe me, I know!….whilst everybody picks up on ‘guh-NATS’, and even people with decent IQ’s disregard the intentional mispronunciation. Anyway, the gnats ‘sprang to life’ when we moved 3 or 4 potted plants inside from the balcony….as Miz. Jo was to learn, gnat larvae and all! S–t. How were we to know!? Then, after a Google*tm session she soaked them with a water/peroxide solution….which turned out NOT to be the ‘solution’ to/for our particular problem. Rotzy was dispatched to get some ‘gnat sticks’…and after two days of searching high and low, I got them at Watsons out on Hwy 5….officially declaring War early last week. To best describe these ‘sticks’…they’re plastic strips, which one has to open up, and are very tricky/sticky….similar to those olde fly strips we used to tack to the ceiling, tho Miz Jo sets these right in the pot. And she counts the ‘casualties’ every morning….safe to say, methinks, the total count is well over 300 at this conjecture! Hence Miz. Jo gave them another nice drink of the water/peroxide mixture…and dont’cha know sooner than later ‘sweet victory will be ours’!!

EMS Parameds Were Here….
….at Skyline last week offering ‘free flu shots’…..at 535, 575, then to us here in #555 on Thursday….so I’d called for an appointment, got one for 8:45….and I was back from my Rez Run for petrol and down to the Algonquin Room in plenty tyme to hand them my Health Card and roll up the sleeve. All went well….of course!….tho I didn’t get a Tootsie Roll Pop for ‘not crying’! S..t. Speaking of needles and such, it’s been said/written on this page about the carryings-on of various COVID-anti-vaccers groups, their ‘borderline moronic’, pitiful/pathetic reasons, rights and cetera NOT to be ‘needled’. Well, Rotzy came up with the following item from last week’s Los Angeles Times whilst pulling up Miz. Jo’s crossword puzzle….it goes WAY beyond ‘borderline moronic’, OK? **WARNING** you MAY find this piece upsetting!….on the other hand, if you agree with the guy’s actions, you MAY need help! So…SO….all members of the L/A Fire Department (and no doubt most/all other firefighters in America) have been ‘mandated’ (the ‘m’ word) to receive two vaccine shots….L/A firefighters were each handed their letter of notification by the L/AFD. One ‘cheeky’ member apparently disagreed with the mandate, dropped his drawers right on the spot, and wiped the crack of his ass (behind if you wish) with it. The letter that is. Then dropped it to the floor….’dirty’ side up (*I’m not making this s–t up)….THIS is how far some anti-vaccers will go. But they/we DO have our rights….right? I know not if he’s still employed by the L/A FD? Sorry….’nuff said.

BGG Goings-On
a fine/well attended gathering for the Brantford Guy Group last Friday at The Navy Club….where, it has been said in last week’s minutes, we might ‘dry dock’ for the rest of the winter. They certainly do look after us, even opening an hour earlier than usual to accommodate the BGG. Meanwhile, most of the membership….which “F/N” is told now numbers 42(!)….has Rotzy convinced just about ALL of them/us carry  the ‘Presidential’ title….altho it does make for some difficulty when you want to raise a point/speak directly to one at a given tyme. I’m also thinking yours truly is still the club’s ‘most senior member. Anyway, we’re managing fine, but when it comes to ‘issues’, for some reason we’re definitely hung up when it comes to Johnny Stickshift’s real name…which, after three meetings, still hasn’t been found out. Well, an ‘expert’ has been named and will be brought to next Friday’s meeting to ‘put a proper name’ to The Sticker, then probably join the Club…another (round buying) President to be sure! *The COVID booster shot….the 3rd….was brought up in conversation in the early going Friday afternoon….when there were maybe ten members present….and it became VERY clear to Rotzy that in all likelihood there are few….if ANY….COVID Anti-Vaccers in our group….and if there are any, they’re keeping it to themselves. I’m sure it’s the former, because the olde guy got a few ‘looks’ when I said Miz. Jo and I hadn’t/haven’t had our #3 yet….however, I quickly ‘splained ‘our 158 days aren’t up yet’, but not to worry….we’ll get them. Why? Because we have the RIGHT to the booster shots! (*see below)

Readers Write
    This one is in response to last week’s TOTD….(Thought Of The Day). At least, it starts out that way. Check it out: *Of course ‘the first sheet of toilet paper on the roll is always glued down’. It has to be…..by the machine that sets them in rows and columns tightly. So they do not roll away. Only to be wrapped by another machine in various sizes packaging. Still another machine with robotic arms carefully staggers the bundles on a skid for shrink wrapping….by another machine. With precision. Scary. **Also….to be added to the “From Nakina” item last week, listing the ‘things that will disappear during our lifespan’, the reader says you/we need to add; People….1/The Middle Man (Middle Woman) 2/The Middle Class. As in GONE. HISTORY. See….I told you’ll last week! No Books, No Music, No Bud Light Tall Boys, no way!! Happy Trails!

Watch out folks….Scrooge may have taken on another form this year but he’s as ornery as ever, if not more so.

”Some Assembly Required”(*see below)
It’s been awhile since Miz. Jo and Rotzy joined forces to ‘build’ anything, but last Friday we ‘came out of semi-retirement’ to construct a shelving unit….black metal, lightweight but sturdy….on which to pile an accute overabundance of books, as well as other stuff that needs a ‘home’. The new unit is from CTC*tm….knowingly sayeth Miz. Jo, ”because that’s where the other one came from’….the store-wide search, plus the waiting in the ‘real/live cashier’ check-out line took an hour or more. Sorry but Rotzy will NOT use those ‘automated/U-Do-It’ cash registers….anywhere!! So….SO….this unit is identical to the one already here, which also ‘required some assembly'(*see above)….but one doesn’t need tools to put them together and Miz. Jo has the instructions in hand….but uses both of her hands to help when needed….which is often because of yours truly’s paws, which function not unlike a couple Scarfe*tm ‘4 inch paint brushes. Methinks we picked up the original one at Can Tyre two or three years ago, hence recalling HOW we did it is a lost cause, altho stealing the odd glance at it did help. Anyway, who says we gotta have them ‘exactly identical’??!! They’re close enough, and within five minutes of its’ completion, Miz. Jo had it loaded up….arranged!….in a manner that didn’t just look ‘like a bunch of books piled on a shelf’. Imagine.

You May Have Seen This….
….before on your I/B email….it’s not brand new/been around awhile….a list, apparently put together by a bunch of ‘very smart/MENSA-type people’….not unlike BGG members….consisting of ”Ten Things That Will DISAPPEAR In Our Lifetyme”. GONE….for good. Now, there is a rather long ‘explanation of why and how’ after each ‘thing’….don’t you worry about that, yours truly’s not going to put you through all that s–t, so just check this out, OK? Here’s what’s gonna VANISH, for good: *1/ The Post Office 2/ The Newspaper 3/ The Cheque 4/ The Book 5/  Land Line Phones 6/ Music 7/ TV Revenues 8/ Things You Own (say what?) 9/  Cursive Writing (Letters Joined) 10/ Privacy.* Well, well, well….won’t that just be lovely? Anyway, I could care less about some of them, but when I saw 4 and 6, well sir/m’am, colour me gone! Of course, it only stands to reason Bud Light Tall Boys*tm in all likelihood are next, hence, my point being exactly that….what’s the point? Y’all have yourself a lovely day.

Readers Write
Need a little humour after that last item, so here’s some tidbits from a ‘certified oldster’ who’s quite willing to share a laugh. Check ’em out: *I just ordered a Life Bracelet, so IF I get a life I’ll be notified immediately! **I made a huge To-Do List today. I just can’t figure WHO in hell is going to do all that s–t? ***ME: I am surprised at how winded I am by this exercise. PERSONAL TRAINER: This was the tour of the gym. ****It helps if you imagine a tiny little elf in your fone who’s trying to be helpful, but is, in fact, quite drunk. Thanks ‘Weiner’ (not his real name) and keep ’em coming folks!

Holy Cow
    And before you can say Bealzabub, it’s gonna be Holy Night! Or is it? I’ve heard it said several tymes now on Fight Back, the fone show in on Zoomer Radio by people who you’d think are knowing what they’re talking about. Well, THEY seem to know….and they get it on good authority. What they’re talking about. And do YOU know what that might be? Yuletide! Noel! Yes….Christmas!! But not the olde-fashioned, happy banter such as ‘be of good cheer’/’God rest ye merry gentlemen’ Christmas….a COVID-ized Chistmas. AGAIN! Still! Hey….Rotzy doesn’t want to sound like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. No, No, No! Not me. No way. But, “From Nakina” is giving odds that Xmas 2021 isn’t gonna be like Xmas….let’s say Xmas 2019…or 2018….or 1985, just to be safe. Not at all. Far from it in fact….and it will follow it’s current WORLD WIDE pattern like that until….until….well, you know….until the anti-vaccers become Wise Men. And women. As it stands these days, their camels are smarter! Speaking of which, and by the bye, Rotzy just meandered down to Edna in the parking lot for a puff….Miz. Jo still ‘rations’ them out, six a day….and who do I run into in the elevator lobby but Don The Dink (not his real name)….you may recall him as the MAJOR ‘anti-vaccine guy’ from a couple weeks back and he axed me ‘where are your shorts’? (like everybody else here at #555) so I told him ‘done for the year’ as of last Wednesday and yours truly switched to a pair of Windy River*tm blue jeans….first tyme for full-length strides since late April, and they’re rather complicated, what with belt, zipper, more pockets, sox and something other than flip-flops on my feet! Anyway, rather than have another go-round with Don by axing ”you get your vaccine shots yet”? I steered clear of that so as to avoid another vitriolic dose of nonsense more suited to a yappy, little, five-yr old brat. Anyway, IF this Christmas does become COVID-ized methinks I’ll have to invite Don The Dink up for a Xmas Toast. Stay tuned. ***Monday 6:00AM Update***Zoomer 740AM News….2.9 Million Units of Pfizer Vaccine arrived late yesterday at Hamilton International Airport….for availability/dispensing this week….CHILDREN 5-12 the target. Unless Mummy and Daddy are part of the Anti-Vaccers movement. And they DO have their rights, Mummy and Daddy do, right? ‘Nuff said.

Tis The Season To Rage
    Altho Rotzy sees myself as a Christmas Person, in spite of, or perhaps because of, an ‘advanced age’, for the last few decades it all starts ‘way too soon’.,,,jeez, the Halloween stuff gets put away and out comes Santa Claus and his elves….along with the gleeful, cheerful, seasonal music. Over and over and over, like I said, too much/too soon, altho, mercifully, some stores/businesses hold off until November 12th. Maybe that’s why a lot of Brant’s Ford drivers were operating on a short wick last couple weeks and the rage was all around the city….the north end at least. Lots of HORNS and Rotzy’s best/worst was a woman following me out of Zehr’s Thursday just after noon hour….I’m on Fairview approaching a RED light at Park Rd North….apparently not quickly enough for a young lady behind me in an expensive looking vehicle, hence I get a toot and a hand gesture. Whatever. Heading north on P/RN with too much traffic for her to pass and she’s ‘right on my ass-end’….all I can see in my rear-view is REVOR EGNAR, if you get my drift….as we approach another RED light at Dunsdon…3 lanes at the light….thru/left/right and I need the thru, so I signal, give Edna Equinox some pedal, and slide into the middle lane…she LEANS on the horn but she’s SO “F/N” close I can’t see in her cab to see if I’m getting more hand signals. Then, she’s out and around me and hammers on her brakes….in the thru lane….and her tailgate tells/shows me she’s in a RANGE ROVER. And stopped. Then….she ‘had a change of mind'(?) and basically ‘jumped’ from our lane to the left turn lane….the rear half of the R/R right on the pedestrian walkway and her front half out into the intersection. Rotzy was gonna honk but I know not how to work Edna’s horn just yet, so I rolled my window down to tell her ‘seasons wishes’….but it came out as a cough…. a ‘far’ cough. So Felice Navidad, ma’am.

*Thought Of The Day…Is it really necessary for the first sheet of toilet paper to be glued down?

The year’s winding down but Rotzy’s just winding up with opinions about Doug Ford and school discipline. Tying students to a desk? The new norm in classroom discipline? Pretty sad state of affairs in the field of education and it isn’t a criticism of the teacher but of the lack of education on the homefront.

2021 Gardens Pulled Off
       Yours truly got the balance of stuff hat was still growing in our plot of the Commune Garden down front dug/pulled/removed last mid-week….which meant some of our neighbours had a feed of carrots and/or beets, along with some leeks….the Horn of Plenty was pretty full, and it’s funn to share some fresh veggies. That little plot has offered up a nice ‘bounty’ for three years now….but I can’t say the same thing for my 10×10 ‘Garden of Hope’ over at Hope C/R Church. Call it what I may….keeping in mind that it IS a CHURCH that supplies the land, tap water, hose, watering cans and cetera….and my garden was a disappointment/disaster/total waste of tyme. A ‘bounty’? Coulda/shoulda/woulda been….but NO on all counts. ‘Next year’? you ask? Nope. At least not anywhere near plot #58. Lesson(s) learned, got burned, even spurned….but I’m not as dumb as I look, so if it’s gonna happen it’ll be ME….without any ‘help’ from anyone….thanks anyway.

I’m Still Chortling….
       at the item Miz. Jo and I heard on the Kitchener 6:00PM CTV News last Wed or Thurs. An elementary school teacher from the area (Guelph seems to ring a bell) is ‘up to her ass in alligators in the swamp’….that’s just a figure of speech….because she (yes, they said SHE) taped a student (8 or 9 yrs old) to the student’s desk. I guess I must say ‘allegedly’ at this point. For behaving poorly….very ‘poorly’ apparently….but also ‘allegedly’. So I found/find it so funny methinks ’cause there was more than one taping. Next we hear from one (or both?) of the terribly distraught mothers (no ‘allegedly’ on their part!) going on about how their sweet/dear/precious little one always gets/deserves an A+ in Classroom Politeness/Manners….and why/how in the heck is her little ‘princess’ DUCT TAPED to her desk???!!! Has the teacher completely lost her mind ??!! Well….she will pay for this. The teacher, that is. So will the Principal…..’I’ve already had a go ’round with Him’! sayeth Mommie Dearest. Without even once thinking that just perhaps little Precious has the vocabulary of a Drill Sgt….that she’s called Garbage Mouth by the older kids. And/or she’s prone to come-out-swinging when she doesn’t get her way. Hey. this s–t isn’t new….teachers as ‘THE disciplinarians’….because at home there is little to none. Hence, in THIS case, we have a teacher who has either ‘completely lost it’ on the job and crossed a line that shouldn’t have been crossed….OR….she should’ve taped the kid to her desk long before she did. Anyway….I’m taking bets on this one!!…..so stay tuned. By the bye, if Miz. Jo’s Dad, the late Sidney B. Rutherford, was still teaching in this day and age, he’d need one of Eddie Greenspan’s top ‘suits’ kept handy….maybe Eddie himself….seeing as S.B. was always from the ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ school of thinking.

Telephone Salesmen/Women
       This segment of people is really the heck of me….and Miz. Jo. Especially Miz. Jo. Seeing as she answers our fone 96.5% of the tyme….likely 97%. And….if you’re not aware….they’re always….I mean ALWAYS!….offering a Duct Cleaning Service, or a Credit Card promo. Right? And it’s the same s–t. Always. We’re usually in the bathroom, or going there, or coming from there. Or working on/eating lunch or supper. If we DO make it to the fone on tyme, we pick it up and say ‘hello’….then there’s nothing on the other end….then there is. Or not. Now, Rotzy tries to be patient….because as I tell myself “Hey Toad, at least they’re WORKING, and not on the dole, eh?” Which is true….but they’re doing it all wrong. Miz. Jo is handling it best she can, with her standard response and yours truly has found that ‘coughs’ are pretty effective, especially ‘far coughs’….until a week or so ago when some olde lady (probably about my age) fired off a ‘far cough’ at yours truly! directly followed by a second one!! Back to back ‘far coughs’….leaving me somewhat deflated….and then she hung up on me!! B–ch!! But I DID have some funn with one of them about a month back. A fellow who was obviously from some distant land and not great with the Queen’s English. I tried to sound VERY interested, told him I live in a HUGE mansion with 150 rooms….that’s approx. how many units there are here at #555 Harris Place, and THAT is a LOT of DUCTS! He got REALLY excited at the thought of some ridiculously large commission cheque….like, I’m sure he was singing ”we’re in the money” in some undistinguishable foreign language. Of course, he eventually realized I was ‘rattling his chain’, so his immediate ‘far cough’ response made him sound like he was born and raised in The Telephone City.  Another thing….we’re even getting some of ‘those’ calls on our cell fones!….and Miz. Jo tells me that was/is NOT supposed to happen. Whatever. With Mr, Ford (*see below) bumping the Minimum Wage to $15 even on Jan 1st, I’m sure you fone sales people can find another/better line of work….like actually CLEANING the ducts!!

Let Somebody Else Do It….
       is clearly the stance….’STANCE’?!….taken by our Premier as to making vaccine shots mandatory for health care workers/care givers and cetera….clearly a ‘no balls’ decision with Ford leaving it up to individual hospitals to decide ‘yay’ or ‘nay’. Like an afterthought to his ‘Ontarians have rights’ (re masques and needles) bulls–t a couple months back. Seems most hosp CEO’s are saying/have already said ‘yay’….proving somebody’s got more ‘cajones’ than Doug has. Alas….everybody and their brother/sister has got it on for the Preem nowadays….doctors, nurses, unions and cetera! It’s like somebody stuck a ‘Kick Me’ sign on his back…right over top of his BLUE suit’. Andrea Horwath is gunning for big Doug with a renewed vigour….going right for the throat….and the worst part of this saga/debacle?….for Rotzy? THIS tyme she’s RIGHT!! Whoa! That’s almost as hard a pill to swallow for yours truly as Ford’s ‘no balls screw-up’. Almost.

In The Hall/On The Floor/At The Door….
       is where our mail from Skyline Living lands….pamphlets, flyers, newspapers only make it as far as the Mailbox Lobby on the Ground Floor….and yesterday aft we got a letter telling/warning of another Bi-Annual Inspection Monday Nov 8th, between 9:00 and 5:00….smoke detectors and a quick walk around/through. Like the monthly fire alarm checks, a small ‘pain in the butt’….however it’s for own safety, hence no big deal. Well, folded up and lying right beside the Skyline communique was another note….also 8×11 paper, lettering printed by hand, perhaps using a Sharpie*tm pen urging Miz. Jo and yours truly to see a ”YouTube video with Rocco Galati talking about Ontario Rights concerning vaccine and masks”. Yes indeed….I’ll get right to it, Rocco. Gracia. *Mon AM Update….did a very quick Google*tm peek. Rocco is a lawyer…..and lawyers are going to cash in on this ‘Rights thingy’…big tyme! By the bye, he was born in Calabria, Italy, leaving Rotzy wondering if Rocco has any Cosa Nostra ties….and one “F/N” reader is betting Rocco ‘knows Tony Soprano’. Quite well in fact.

*Thought Of The Day….My parents spanked me as a child. As a result, I now suffer from a condition known as ‘respect for others’. This condition is VERY rare these days, most often is ‘terminal’….and sadly/obviously has all but disappeared.

Rotzy’s gettin’s healthier each day…pretty soon he’s going to be born again !

Healthy, Wealthy And Wise
Rotzy is under no delusions that the latter two descriptions are, in any way, shape or form, connected to yours truly, but after last week….which included my ongoing twice-a-week appointments at the V.O.N., not to mention a real, live (not-virtual), in-person visit to see our family doctor….I’d give my current overall health a definite ‘thumbs up’. Not necessarily a 9 out of 10, which would/could call for a cartwheel or two, but surely a ‘passing grade’ (like a 7?) which might be accompanied by a couple ‘fist punches’ or a ‘high five’. As to the V.O.N., they been bandaging and compressing ‘drainage spots’ mostly on my lower legs since May, until last Friday which meant I’d been over a week with no patches, hence I’m finished with them and they with me! As to Dr. S. (not his real name), Oct 18 was the first we’d been face to face in almost two years, hence he gave me a pretty thorough going-over, stethoscope and cetera. So….SO…. Rotzy got kudos on what the ticker and the lung-sounding told him, and he said the latest results from my recent blood-work at Life Labs indicated my quarterly average sugar numbers were down a tad (good), with liver, kidneys, etc. functioning fine. Plus my weight’s down 7 or 8 lbs from normal. He’s also going along with Miz. Jo ‘rationing out’ a meagre SIX smokes a day….then he says to me “What would Santa (that would be ME) like at Xmas”? I replied ”a carton of Marlboroughs”? ”NO! How about telling your wife you’re quitting altogether”?! I said ”Leave that one with me, OK Doctor”? Then he mentioned possibly switching me off my long-tyme diabetes pill Metformin*tm to a different/new med which also benefits one’s heart….after checking with my cardiologist. It also tends to make one pee more! I said “Holy s–t doctor, I’m already on TWO ‘pee pills’ a day, could ‘out-piss a race-horse’….and you wanna give me more”??!! So he says ”no problem, we can get around that by cutting out one of your current ‘pee pills’. Anyway, stay tuned….and Rotzy is pretty happy with my mark…even tho I gave it to myself. Maybe people will stop looking at me like I’m not supposed to be here?

Readers Write
Well….this fellow seems not in the least supportive towards the ‘non-vaccine bunch’, as his following four points will clearly reveal….check ’em out! *Ever look at someone and think ”Why hasn’t anyone hit you with a shovel yet”?!(*see below) **If common sense was lard, most of you A-V (Anti-Vaccine) people wouldn’t be able to grease a pan!! (*see below) ***It’s easier to fool people than it is to convince them that they have been fooled. (Mark Twain) ****Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people. *Thanks, and keep on sending em.

More Readers Write
I got a Jim dandy email last Thurs that started off as a reply to an item in last week’s “F/N” column/rant on road rage and yours truly’s upset and just how rude and ignorant stupid people can be….then the letter tied that to the question of ‘masques’, how, where and when they should be worn….with a nearby eatery as the location of what was close to a ‘confrontation’ between Moe (not his real name) and another customer, who ‘qualifies’ for BOTH of the (*see below)’s just above here. Anyway, to his credit our reader put 2 and 2 together, saw what he was dealing with, and common sense said ‘let it ride….not worth it”. Good move. But there was an underlying problem that was/is certainly tied to masques and the overall upset caused by the COVID-19 situation, in particular, Vaccine….which we actually spoke about the next day….and the fact that Rotzy comes away with after our chat is how COVID gets SO damned much ‘coverage, conversation and cetera’ we have FORGOTTEN about things like the FLU. And SHINGLES. Imagine. You know, insignificant little diseases like that. So Rotzy poked my head in at my doctor’s receptionist whilst leaving the pharmacy Friday to axe about it, and guess what? Nope….they don’t have any….either one. No more Fall Flu Shots needed anymore? Shingles is gone? Imagine. Well, that’s a damned good thing….Miz. Jo suffered through a bout of shingles about 30 years ago. And Moe (not his real name) showed me some pix of HIS Shingles….whoa! Rotzy wouldn’t even wish that stuff on an anti-vaccine crusader. Nope. Meanwhile I suppose I’ll wait for my doctor’s office to call….so get your COVID shot(s), OK?! note* if this item makes no sense to you I’m sure you’re not alone, you can colour me there too….we’re SO wrapped up in/with COVID we can’t think straight anymore. And normal?….as in ‘back to normal’? That’s a pipedream.

Rotzy’s ‘Keyboard Comeback’….
took place last week at ‘Heron Head’, down in the Holmedale ward of Brant’s Ford. For those not in the know, ‘Heron Head’ is not a pub/club/bar or any such type of establishment. It’s a bicycle shop. Brand new shiny, pastel-coloured bicycles, used bicycles….and altho I didn’t see any ‘penny farthings’ on display, I’m sure Stan would be pleased to get one for you….it appears he has anything/everything that moves on spoke-ed wheels. So….SO….you’re asking,…”why is there a piano in Heron Head Bicycles and why were YOU playing it”? Well, because Stan bought it…a beautiful Heintzman*tm upright grand!!….and he invited me and anyone else who read the piece on Facebook*tm to stop by the shop on Morrell St and try it out, no strings attached and you don’t HAVE to buy a bike….or anything else he has for sale. Miz. Jo told me about the offer….adding that her cousin Sylvia (not her real name) had been there and played it….and she knew I would like to give the Heintzman a try as it’s been a couple decades for yours truly since playing piano, or ANY type of keyboard for that matter….and, at a tyme when I had some feeling in my paws, along with better flexibility. ”Hey Toad” I said (to myself) “Nike tyme”, ”Just Do It”! for crissakes, you’re not auditioning for Massey Hall”!! And Stan The Bike Guy added “I can only play Chopsticks” as I tried to recall MY ‘repertoire’, then how to play it. Long story short, Stan did say he ‘recognized a Beatle’s song’ but Rotzy’s ‘2021 Pianoman Fall Tour’ is ‘on hold’. So, you wanna tickle the ivories on a Heintzman? Drop by Heron Head Bicycles at 120 Morrell St. Stan sells AND rents bikes as well!! Tell him Rotzy says ‘Hi’.

BGG Update
The Brantford Guy Group had a well-attended meeting at The Navy Club last Friday….not sure on the actual attendance but there were nearly 20 of us! Most of the recently named Presidents For Life ‘got mention’, altho I’m only aware of one (or perhaps two) getting nailed for a ’round for the table’, which I’d calculate to be in the $70 range, with tip. Whoa!! that’s beyond Rotzy’s means. And one non-thinking member (in the DENSA sector, rather than MENSA) almost was hit with the ’round for the House’ for his ‘hat removal upon entry’ infraction, which is applicable in legions and ex-servicemen’s clubs and coulda/woulda been $100+….but methinks the barkeep took pity on him. Or he bribed her. Word’s getting around about the BGG and the ‘newest president’ came all the way from Vancouver! The Sgt-At-Arms is still talking about a ‘permanent location’ for meetings, altho I know not if all 7 Presidents are in agreement….so stay tuned.

*Thought Of The Day…Once you hit a certain age you become permanently unimpressed by a lot of s–t.  (Morgan Freeman)

As his hearing is still pretty good, Rotzy’s good at identifying all the “HORNy” people.

Long Tyme Coming….
….and I’m talking about my foot care appointment with Chris (not his real name) at what is called ‘Feet First’, located in what was McCutcheon Bakery, across the street from what was Colborne United Church, where Rotzy was confirmed about 62 years ago. Anyway, my foot care is part of my overall diabetic care plan….and….when COVID doesn’t interfere, I go there quarterly for a very thorough check-up, including ‘loss of feeling’ (which I don’t have much left), removal of dead skin and/or anything that shouldn’t be there, and a pulse. Yes….a pulse! in your feet! and I DO have one!….I’ve even heard it via an electronic stethoscope thingamabob!! But the best part….aside from having a pulse, of course….is getting my toe nails cut! I’ve been using this service for 20 years now (here and up north) and even with my limited feeling, it’s like walking on a cloud when they’re done and yours truly has been known to give it my best Rudolph Nureyev impression when departing the clinic. I’m not actually sure just WHAT the little lady at the reception desk was thinking as Rotzy went flitting by her on my tippy-toes last Wednesday ayem. ‘You see, that facility is used for any number of ‘health issues,’ including ‘mental health’….so you can take it from there. Actually, I asked my foot guy about the ‘new’ sign I spotted on my way in at the entrance….”No Guns, Knives Or Weapons Allowed On The Premises”….and it surely ‘caught my eye’!! It was ‘new to him’ also so I told him I grew up (to age 15) in a house just one block away from there, where people left the milk bottles and money outside their door for the milkman, and I’m pretty sure nobody ever locked their door. So, I did a drive-through….and in truth, the olde neighbourhood still looks pretty good, and I didn’t spot anybody brandishing any sort of weaponry. Hopefully, I’ll be back for a toenail tuneup in January.

Readers Write
    The following came in from a guy called Eric (that’s not his real name, but I almost always call him that by mistake) and methinks it’s some pretty funny stuff. Check ’em out: *Laughter is the best medicine. Or wine. It might be wine. **It’s a good day. The dashboard ‘Check Engine’ light finally burned out in my car. ***Two to three glasses of wine per day reduces your risk of giving a s–t. ****Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are. *****No, I can’t do Snap Chat or Tik Toc or Zoom, but I CAN write in cursive, do math without a calculator and tell tyme on a clock with hands. Imagine. (Thanks Eric, and keep ’em coming folks.)

Road Rage….Bad Week
    The olde guy had a couple of beauties last week….BOTH of which I was on the receiving end of some yappy, horn-happy SOB that I’d really like to have another crack at. Honker #1 was at Zehr’s parking lot Tuesday or Wednesday just before noon. I was slowly inching my way forward, at least halfway out of my spot in the lineup. I spotted a light blue Honda (or Hyundai, I can’t tell them apart) coming from my right side, not fast, but clearly NOT slowing down, and NOT one of the 4 out of 5 drivers who woulda let the black Nissan Frontier pick-up out of its’ spot. I stopped and for some reason she got on her horn, making hand gestures at me whilst hanging off the end of her ‘Benson and Hedges 100’, I’m thinking. “Hey lady, I’m stopped, OK? and I really don’t need a lecture from you, OK? And, thanks”!! If she had any thoughts of continuing a back and forth, they ended with a barrage of ‘coughs’ from Rotzy. Yes indeed, there was enough room between us they were ‘far’ ‘coughs’. Damn….I hate horns! Did I ever mention that before? No matter….the second one….yesterday (Friday)….took place as I was enroute to the weekly Friday afternoon Brantford Guy Group meeting at 3:00 PM (*see below). I had missed last week, hence I made sure I was in plenty of tyme and I’m going south on the WGP, stopping for a red light at the #403 overpass. Well, the ****ing jerk behind me was in one LARGE hurry to take the on-ramp for the #403 to London, was RIGHT BESIDE ME as he kicked up his KIA into passing mode, and then laid on his horn. (*KIA’s have very loud/rude horns) Don’t know if he flipped me the bird or not due to the dark tinted window….it didn’t matter/I didn’t care….or retaliate. Rotzy just sat there like a dink….not even mad/pissed off, yet so scared/shook I was wondering if I’d had another ****ing heart attack, then realized ”Green light Toad, better get moving lest somebody else honks at me”. I made it down to the Gunners Club and just sat back in Norm for 10 or 15 minutes, finally realizing the bus hadn’t come for me. Wish people would stop with the horns at me because I KNOW one of these tymes Rotzy’s ‘really gonna lose it’….’ pull a Kevin Harvick’ or a ‘Joey Logano NASCAR-style takeout’!!

BGG Meeting’s And Stuff
    The Brantford Guy Group is still in its infancy….unlike the Lions, Knights of Columbus or Kiwanis, the BGG was just formed a couple of months ago, tho they have made use of the K of C’s outdoor patio for a couple of meetings. So here’s Rotzy downstairs in the Gunner’s Club….still at 115 Henry St….I’ve shown my wallet-size COVID Vaccine Passport to the Barkeep (I can’t even read the small print but he managed) and signed the register, like we used to have to do in the Nakina Branch #116, and took a Bud Light to a table that could seat lots of BGG’s….AND….near the bar! Methinks it was 3:15 when the first couple of members sauntered in, (apparently, we’re up to 23 or 24) two guys I coached in football in the ’60s, not at all concerned about their tardiness. Then (I think) next was the sec/treas/sgt-at-arms, then 3 or 4 more in rapid succession. I’d forgotten I’d been made President For Life, but no one bowed or offered congrats! then I recalled SEVEN of us were ‘inaugurated’ altogether, then there was some chatter about ‘new Presidents For Life buying rounds’. Hence, the bulls–tting had begun….aimed more at some members than others. In truth, as the ‘oldest of the oldsters’ Rotzy doesn’t get targeted that badly, but I gotta say that ”If bulls–t was brass, our BGG group would be John Philip Sousa’s Band”!! Anyway, when you stop and think for a minute, it IS quite amazing that twenty-some olde guys get back together with friends they played sports with/against, went to school with, and cetera. Also, we have our own motto written in Latin, meaning ”Meeting Friends Now, Not at Funerals”.  By the bye, the Brantford Guy Group has established ties with MENSA, DENSA as well as RENSA, yet the ONLY definite requirement, if you were interested in joining the club, is that you MUST have an IQ! High, low, or in between….but you MUST have one!

*Thought  Of The Day…There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity; intelligence has its’ limits. (Albert Einstein)

Turkeys are renowned for being with low IQ’s. But Rotzy thinks they might be outdone by a lot of turkeys in Ottawa, Hamilton, Kitchener-Waterloo and other turkey growing regions.

Infringing On Rights?
    This next piece came from a reader, it caught my eye/attention, so I’m passing it on to you….word for word. *How about this, eh? Prof Deoanandan was asked by a student journalist what he would say to the 20% of polled University of Ottawa students who complain that the campus vaccine requirements are an ”infringement on their rights of free movement”. His response was: We already infringe on your movements. You can’t cross a border without a passport. You can’t drive a car without a licence. You can’t ride the bus without a pass. You can’t cross the bloody street unless the light is green. You can’t enter the nightclub unless your ID says you’re over 18. You can’t enter private property….and the university is private property…unless the owners give you permission. Moreover, you can’t inject heroin into your veins because that’s against the public good. You can’t drive your car as fast as you want because that’s against the public good. You can’t defecate on the sidewalk because that’s against the public good.  And you can’t come to campus without being vaccinated because that’s against the public good. A free society is not an anarchic society. So wake up you junkies, if you don’t want to be vaccinated, you have the freedom not to come to campus.* (Well said, Professor! altho yours truly might have gone with ‘flunkies’ in place of ‘junkies’ in the last sentence….but no matter how you address them, they’re not hearing you. Why? Because they know. Everything. All that knowledge is packaged up in 19 or 20-yr old brain (*see below). And it’s not only good olde Ottawa U ruled by an ‘an archaic system’ that DO require vaccinations, so last weekend student riots took place at McMaster, Wilfred Laurier, Waterloo U….and maybe Guelph? Whoever has ‘Homecoming Weekend’ it seems….it’s chug-a-lug a few Corona’s*tm….lime please….and let’s go out on the street, set some fires, and tip some cars over, people and all. Meanwhile, the Deans of these bastions of Excellence in Education are looking for places to hide, wondering WTF??!! Hey gentlemen/women, do not despair, latest figures show that all but about 5% of Ontarians have been FULLY VACCINATED!….do you hear me???? that’s 95% of us!! Sadly, the 5% are the ones on your front lawn, smearing the good name of your schools. ‘Tomorrow’s leaders’ they’re referred to by many…but in truth, they’re ‘children’ (*see above)….and poorly behaved children at that. Hey kids, go on home to mummy and daddy and have them sign you up for a school that is not so archaic as to require students be vaccinated! And good luck.

Too Much On My Plate….
….last Friday, including two buckboard, runs and including two plates of Chinese Phood for ‘Order In/Takeout Friday’, so Rotzy missed Friday’s BGG Meeting. S–t. Oh sure, I could have rolled into the K of C Hall ‘fashionably late’ at 3:30 or quarter to four, but seeing as, to my knowledge, I’m the ‘senior’ member on the roster, methinks it would set a rather poor example….you know, for the younger members. Nonetheless and notwithstanding, it was a bad week to miss with a very promising/thought-provoking agenda lined up. ”Alas, Toad” I said (to myself), “I’ll make everything right next week by getting the first round”. And all is not lost for this week as Miz. Jo had suggested….and I accepted….’let’s go to the Dunsdon Legion Saturday afternoon (today) for a drink’. And yes, in full compliance with the laws, we both have our Vaccine Passports….from Staples*tm via our Health Cards, tho the print is SO damned small I can’t read nary a word. Never mind, we’re legal and good to go….and we’ll surely be showing off our Nakina Wm. Grant Branch #116 RCL Membership Cards. Not sure, but methinks we have our 20-year pins. Should be a funn tyme. (*see below)

Thanksgiving And Stuff(ing)
    Well, Dr. Theresa Tam and her provincial co-horts have made their ‘recommendations’ for Thanksgiving gatherings….no point of me listing them here as you won’t read this until after Turkey/Ham Day….and you just know we’ll all be looking at a definite spike in daily counts (over 5-600 in Ont alone) 2 weeks after the fact. And considerably worse than that if the anti-vaccine-ers really cut loose….which they no doubt will. I’m thinking yesterday or the day before, so what DO we have to be thankful for THIS year? Well, very obviously it’s that the number of ‘non-vaccine-ers’ is ONLY in the 5% range, which, by the bye, includes that sorry-ass bunch of wannabe university students who are being ‘infringed upon’ like there’s no tomorrow. Interesting that such a small percentage of the populous gets so much airtyme on the CTV Kitchener station. Hey, ’nuff said about the kids. Miz. Jo and Rotzy will be going ‘traditional’ on Sunday….hey! that’s tomorrow! And Jo Ann will tear up the Dempsters 100% Whole Wheat bread for my favourite stuffing; a Heinz Tomato Juice toast for starters; Swift Butterball*tm Turkey; gravy; cranberries; potatoes; turnip; brussels sprouts; and dinner rolls! Mmmm! Monday the leftovers ‘will become’ Turkey Pot Pie with Miz. Jo covering it with layers of phyllo pastry. Mmmm again! Jeez…..I’m starting to drool. Anyway, we hope you have/had a Happy Thanksgiving….and a COVID-safe one as well!

No Funn At  All (*see above)
    The Dunsdon Legion website said Open from 3:00 to 11:00PM, but they weren’t. Open. And there was a wedding going on….not a reception but two people getting married just inside the rear doors the wheelchair ramp led up to. This was pointed out to us by a somewhat dishevelled-looking fellow whom we took to be part of the proceedings, altho he was in no rush to enter and more into helping us find the bar. Miz. Jo wondered if he was a reluctant groom? We eventually went to the front door to learn they were indeed closed….so we said ”thanks, we’ll try again another day”. 

The  Jury’s Still Out….
    On whether Junior Trudeau gets the “F/N” Jerk Of The Month or Jerk Of The Year for his snub of the BC Indian Chiefs invitation for the FIRST Celebration of September 30th, and his follow-up reply of ‘I made a mistake’ and ‘I’m sorry’. The thing is, when someone apologizes as often he does….and from the heart/with or without crocodile tears….people tend to tune him out. But hold on just a second…J/T’s not alone in “F/N”JOTY voting….no, no, no, no….Jason Kenney, Alberta Premier (last tyme we checked) has doled out hollow ‘sorry’s’ by the bunch since he lowered his province into a COVID-19 sink-hole by dismissing most of the rules and regulations that were in place for public safety. They are in a mess! And 70% of Alberta’s ICU patients are UN-vaccinated! But….Jason is ‘sorry’. Hello?

*Thought Of The Day…Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men had an omelette.

Rotzy laments the end of gardening season as well as lamenting about our less-than-prime minister, Junior.

Garden Update
    Well, my patch down front here in the commune garden isn’t a whole lot different than Nakina at this tyme of year….waiting on the carrots, beets, a handful of Spanish onions to mature….and two part rows of leeks, no frost to worry about here yet, tho the same can’t be said up there. As to my Hope(less) plot over at the CRC, I pulled off the tomato plants Wed along with a dozen pathetic-looking/growth-stunted ‘Lincoln Homestead’ peas which bore not one single pod!….in a growing season that most gardeners who would know call ‘the best in decades’. Whatever. Anyway, the removal of said tomato plants will finally allow some sunshine at the green cabbages, however methinks it’s too little/too late. The poor cabbages (I forget their name and can’t find the plastic name tabs) have had a helluva year…..a LATE planting, then a strong ‘comeback’ before being chomped down to ground level by a bunch of hungry hares….another short/courageous attempt at survival only to be ‘overshadowed’ by the damn tomatoes. And NO….Rotzy didn’t plant the tomatoes….I ‘lent’ a piece of garden to a ‘neighbour/gardener’ who had ‘a FEW tomato plants’ left and no space in her own garden. OK I said, altho I knew not where they would/could go without checking things out. Which I did the next day. And lo, there they were….already planted. Thirteen tomato plants!…..three varieties!….took up a row and a half! Lovely! Especially seeing as we’ve got four tomato pots growing on our balcony! By the bye, whilst the tomatoes were being planted the rest of my garden….a row of Spanish onions, buttercup squash (*see below), and cukes plus the aforementioned pea seeds….got trampled big tyme. Lovelier!! Next year? I don’t think so.

Readers Write
    These observations come from an oldster who clearly has been around for seven or eight decades….check ’em out. *The best thing about being over 70 is that we did our stupid stuff before there was such a thing as ‘social media’. ** If you can’t look back at your former self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot. (*note….I do believe this reader is making some sense here….you think?)

Elections and Stuff
    My ‘Voter Information Card’ is still sitting here on my desk, one corner stuck under my ASUS*tm, and of course it went unused because on Sept 20th yours truly was incarcerated on the fifth floor of BGH….Day 5 of my Nine Day All-Inclusive Healthy Heart Package Plan. You may recall me making considerable noise in “From Nakina” about NOT voting/intentionally spoiling my ballot in protest to Junior Trudeau’s calling of a completely unwanted/unneeded election that would set taxpayers back over half a Billion dollars (Cdn). So here I sit looking at my Elections Canada ticket, and for some strange reason finding myself wishing I HAD exercised my democratic authority. I know not why?! It wouldna made one lick of difference in the outcome, and the outcome was right about Rotzy said it would be, and thereby, settling absolutely dick-all. Which I also stated. That said, I’ll just hang onto the E/C card for now, as sure as shootin’ there’ll be another vote in the next 12-18 months! You can bet your diddy-bag on it!! And next tyme, Rotzy WILL be marking my ‘X’ on a ballot!

The Vultures Are Circling…..
    here at 555 Park Rd North. “And there are more than usual” it was pointed out to me by another oldster the other day. I’ve made mention of these large, graceful, yet ugly as hell feathered friends….a permanent fixture here at the Skyline Compound and hinted that the large number of oldsters….around 75%….find that ‘olde age factor’ as somewhat of an attraction/drawing card as to the reason for them being here. Makes sense. Well dont’cha know that after our chat I went outside to check out the vultures, and damn! Where there are usually a couple or three of them circling/cruising about 75 feet overhead, the count had increased to 6 or maybe 7! S–t! So….SO….I said (to myself) “Well Toad, this is not a particularly good omen, if you know what I’m sayin’ here, and just maybe/perhaps a cough or two is required? Like, right NOW?! I mean, they’re far enough overhead to qualify as ‘far coughs’, so let’s get tuit”!!! So…SO…I did….gave it to them but good!! To the point that I’m relatively sure that one, or possibly two of the critters veered off their circular pattern directly overhead and coasted down to the wooded gulch just to the north. I was about to apologize to the gathering in front of #575 just in case they witnessed my outburst, but I said (to myself) “Hell Toad, ain’t but none of them folks are spring chickens either, so they stand to benefit from fewer vultures just like you do….so forget it”! Anyway, Miz. Jo has told me to squash (*see below) the bird patrols and get on with living. So I did. Get on with living and stuff. OK, OK, OK….I’ll admit to the odd glance skyward, but maybe only a couple tymes a day. And there’s nothing requiring a cough….near or far.

A New Recipe….
    for squash (*see above) from the Fall issue of ‘Food And Drink’, free/gratis at the In And Out Store, caught Miz. Jo’s eye last week….’buttercup’, two of which I had pulled from my Hopeless patch on Tuesday. The F&D magazine has new idea recipes as well as classics and their photographers are second to none, hence we figured the squash would go well with the peameal roast and Jo Ann’s new beet and horseradish salad….tho my ‘finished product’ never resembles the F&D picture….until yesterday! And it tasted fantastic….3/4 inch slices that she drizzled with maple syrple and extra virgin olive oyl….flip ’em half way through. Mmmmm! I’d never eaten the skin of a squash….until yesterday. Another Mmmmm! And tonight? More Food And Drink….a new/different take on ‘lemony chicken breasts’….and we still have more of the beet/horseradish salad! More Mmmm’s.

Mr. Sorry
    Here he goes again….offering up yet another ”I’m truly sorry. Yes I am”. From our First Minister. It just never stops….and you just know they all come right from his heart, yes indeed. You could be a famous person, an unknown person, a rocket scientist, or a moron. A saint or a thief….hell even a terrorist, as we have duly noted. Well, it says here Justin blew it big tyme last week when he tried his ‘sorry’ on a BC Indian Chief for choosing NOT to attend the FIRST big national reflection day September 30th….and ‘do it virtually’ as he chose to spend the day with his family in the very fashionable, expensive, holidaying area of Tofino!!  Rotzy is trying (unsuccessfully) to figure how anybody….let alone our head of government…could be SO ****ing stupid!!!??? No, that is beyond stupid…bordering ‘suicidal’ to a politician. Anyway, not surprisingly methinks it was yesterday (Sun) the Chief has flat out refused to accept the apology. Look out Junior….you’re gonna have more than egg on your face. Stay tuned.

*Thought Of The Day…As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th season, I would like to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.

It was a louse week last week, if you count a heart attack as being a lousy week. Rotzy’s back thanks to great hospital care in Hamilton and every efficient EMT service in Brantford. 

Way to go Rotzy…now take greater self care fella !!

Most Of The Contents….
….of THIS week’s “F/N” column were supposed to go in LAST week’s “F/N” column, but unfortunately there WASN’T a “F/N” column last week as Rotzy was being held captive in room 558-2 (and 562-1) on Brantford General’s 5th floor, Cardiac Wing, whilst dealing with ‘heart issues’ (*see below) . (**note**no apologies from this end, but if you’d prefer NOT to read about ‘hospitals/medical stuff, that kind of s–t, etc’., skip the first couple items, or maybe skip the “F/N” column completely and go to the next page, but yours truly is gonna inform the readership on what’s going on here at “F/N”HQ, regardless. OK? Good. Rotzy had a heart attack. OK? Got it? On Thursday (the 16th) as I was doing my part of getting supper ready Miz.Jo axed me ‘what’s wrong?” then informed me I was REALLY ‘looking like a wilted lily’, altho in terms a little more ‘attention-getting’, then my rather odd/kinda confusing reply….or lack thereof….prompted a fone call to 9-1-1/EMS, quoting Jackie Gleason’s line ”and away we go”! Not unlike my ride with them down to BGH back in March when the ‘heart issues’ (*see above) turned out to be ‘congestive heart failure’. So….SO….let’s get things in order here, OK? That was THEN….this is NOW….OK? Good. And firstly, Rotzy wants to thank the dozens of people/friends for their kind words/get well soon wishes that Miz Jo relayed to me regularly, even before the olde guy was actually diagnosed! S–t!!  I could’ve come down with COVID-19 for all they knew! NOT!!! Anybody and everybody who knows Rotzy (and Miz. Jo) is aware I’m not some dumb-ass, olde phool rocking the ‘vaccine boat’ along with a number (in truth, not all THAT many) of band waggoners who make statements and such that only very stupid people would make….as they continue painting their sorry-asses into ‘non-COVID vaccine’ corners. You see, when one is THAT deaf/dumb/blind toward reality, it takes them tyme to catch on…however, being ‘shunned’ by everybody/everything/everywhere seems to be working. “Whoa there, Toad”!!! I said (to myself) “What the **** are you thinking/writing/worrying about THEM for??!! YOU have just had a heart attack”! (*see below) “OK, OK, OK….’nuff said”! 

In The Beat Of A Heart
    “A little heart attack” sayeth the doctor who released me from BGH on Sat (the 25th), as he demonstrated with his thumb and forefinger about 1/2 an inch apart, NINE days(?) after my arrival, hence I imagined (to myself) “That’s not TOO severe, Toad….perhaps a 4 or a 5 outta 10, you think”? and ‘much better than the alternative’ as my pal Ollie (*(not his real name) would add. ‘No sharp/stabbing pain at all’ and Miz Jo. (thankfully I hope) pointed out ‘and it wasn’t The Widowmaker’!! Anyway, Rotzy sends out ‘merci’ to EMS for getting me down to BGH, and VOYAGO for my excursion to Hamilton Gen. and back….Wed was a VERY long day! The nurses and doctors at BGH were/still are amazing, as is the rest of their staff too! I’ve no idea how they pull it off day after day in these ”crazy/COVID tymes”, but very thankfully, THEY DO!!! Then, they come back for more. So here’s a very heartfelt ”THANKS” from Rotzy!!

Meetings And Stuff
    Jeez….I had forgotten to tell the “F/M” readership that I’ve started attending meetings….on Fridays at 3:00 in the afternoon. Well, I WAS attending them, but missed out on the last two, for reasons you just read about. I found them quite interesting/informative/very ‘open minded’ and an opportunity to see other people in a light/from an angle you may not have seen them previously, and it can be quite revealing/an eye-opener. As it sits currently, the group doesn’t have a ‘permanent’ address, hence the meetings take place at various/suitable spots.

Rotzy’s back…we are all grateful, but he is likely even more grateful. Bravo Rotz…watch that diet, give up those ‘coffin nails,’ get out there each day for some walkin’, and pass on the pizza…aint that good anyway 1

Rotzy’s another Canadian who is not happy with the campaign protests and justifiably so. But he’s also displeased with other things about the campaigners too. Read how he’s planning to vote though it may not be a very agreeable strategy for many voters. In any case, VOTE as it is a protected right for every Canadian citizen.

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Please Say It Ain’t So!
    Back about six months or so….CVST (Covid Standard Time)….I mentioned right here in this space the ‘soon-to-be-opening’ Denny’s Restaurant over on the Wayne Gretzky Parkway….DENNY’S….that long-tyme ‘American institution of restaurants’. THEE place to eat for one and/or all. That’s all phine and dandy, but for yours truly the ‘drawing card’ was/is ‘Chicken Fried Steak’….w/ mashed potatoes, gravy and corn. Mmmmmm! Makes Rotzy’s mouth water just thinking about it. ‘Chicken Fried Steak’ is popular in the southern states, especially in Texas, altho it’s not really chicken at all, but ‘tenderized’ beef, quite often ground beef…and the golden, crispy, chickeny-seasoned coating is incredible!! (*I’m starting to drool) Anyway, I (quite accidentally) ‘found it’ at the Denny’s in upstate New York on the last day of a trip Miz. Jo and I made 25 or 30 years ago….with another couple through Vermont, New Hampshire and cetera to see the fall colours and we pulled off I-81 at Watertown, landing at Denny’s. I was going to have a steak…..likely sirloin….when suddenly I spotted ‘Country Fried Steak’ on their menu!….well, the accompanying picture said Chicken Fried Steak all over it, even tho we were well north of the Mason-Dixon Line and three days from Amarillo. I asked the waitress and she said ‘yes sir’! Bingo!!! Hence, that, and that alone is why Rotzy has been keeping an eye on the progress of Denny’s ‘debut’ in Brant’s Ford….s–t….for all I know, their first in Ontario (*see below), or even in Canada??!! Well folks….’twas like the movie ‘Bad Day At Black Rock’ yesterday (Fri), as I drove Norm The Truck southbound on the WGP, noticing the Denny’s signs were/are GONE! I got off the gas and craned my wretched neck backward until I damned near drove into the clotch/gulch. ”THIS is no “F/N” good, Toad”, I growled (to myself) “And what WILL they put in there now? Another Timmy’s? That’ll make it 196 or 97 Hortons in Btfd! Well, maybe a ‘new’ pizza joint….to fit in with 23 ‘chains’ and 122 ‘independents’….or ‘indies’ if you prefer. Wait…..Burger King!!….there are zero Burger Kings in  The Telephone City! Go figure. Sorry, but a bagfull of Whoppers with cheese don’t replace a Denny’s Country Fried Steak! Poop/s–t on Denny’s….they’re the heck of me!! (*UPDATE*….our #2 “F/N” Proof Reader tells me there is a Denny’s at Whitby….but Whitby’s likely outta Rotzy’s driving range, and I don’t mean golf. Stay tuned. [There’s a Denny’s in the heart of Pickering too.]

Readers Write
    And this one has some COVID-related points that get right to the point….check ’em out. *Do you think that we’re living in a generation that would ‘unplug your life-support just to charge their cellphone’?! (LOL?!) Yeah right!….that’s about as funny as syphyllis. I mean HAVING it, not GETTING it!! **I can’t believe I’m living in a world that is ‘reassigning’ the gender of a plastic potato! You think? ***Why don’t the 99% of us who don’t get offended by EVERYTHING quit ‘catering to/kissing the collective asses of’ those who do??!! (*note* by the bye, the whining/crying/bitching by that 1% is gonna go up a notch or ten as they’re gonna be outta ‘bounds’ for more and more ‘daily routine living stuff’ that those of us who have been vaccinated call normal. But as we’ve been told (for FAR too long now) they DO have their rights (*see below), you know. I heard a woman interviewed on radio the other day whining about how she’s been labelled ‘anti-vaccie’ by others and how tough it is for her these days! Imagine. I can’t know how people know WHAT she is…..’pro’ or ‘anti’??!! Yours truly can’t tell the difference either way from a mere glance. Suppose she’s toting a big ‘I Have Rights’ sign around all day with her? Thanks for your emails and keep ’em coming.

Elections….And Other Stupid Stuff
    Let’s make this right clear right here and now…to those anti-vaccine protesting morons who ‘have rights’….that you’re so ****ed up over Rights you don’t know HOW to protest! or that you have NO RIGHTS (*see above) to throw gravel or anything else at a P/M, MP or MP wannabe, AND a group of health workers (a vaccine crew?) The fact you weren’t jailed is a sad-as statement as to how people’s RIGHTS have clouded up Rights from Wrongs. Anyway, back to the election, and I regret to say my feelings/opinion/stance on it, which, by the bye, and today being Sun Sept 12th, is ONE “F/N” week from tomorrow, so….SO….Rotzy gets even more upset/angrier/steamed/pissed every tyme I hear the words election OR any ‘derivates’ thereof. Also, I’m seeing clear as day how Junior Trudeau has made this fiasco all about ‘ME’! (that’s him, not me, if you get my drift.) His larger than ever pumpkin swept the $2 Billion dollar ‘WE’ Mistake/Blunder/Carcass under the carpet in The House, with the most sorry-ass ‘apology’ Rotzy’s ever heard. Hey….only $2 B’s….of course Mom Maggie, J.T et la famille made mega bucks from ‘WE’ before it went tits-up. OK, OK, OK, OK….that’s enough of that s–t….yours truly and Miz. Jo gotta decide SOON whether we’re gonna vote or boycott….the latter would/will happen in the form of an intentionally spoiled ballot. A vote/votes would go toward Erin O’Toole, but right now I’m thinking MY rights are leaning toward the ruined ballot….and any little ‘pangs of guilt’ I was dealing with a week ago have slip-slided away. So….SO….usually at this point in a pre-election “From Nakina” column I’d offer up a “vote as you like, but VOTE”. But not so in 2021. It’s tyme to say ‘goodbye to’ The ME-ME-ME Guy’. ‘Nuff said!

Whatever Happened To….?
    We’re trying something new/different in this week’s “F/N” column….perhaps follow up next week and after with stuff the readership sends in, whether you’re asking and/or telling….because most, if not all of my subjects, are not in the limelight any more, in fact possibly on the wrong side of the lawn. Yes I know I could Google*tm them, but better to hear it from y’all! So for starters here we go! *(1/ Whatever happened to Mike Duffy? and does ANYBODY care? Rotzy’s ‘favourite’ senator (with a smallish Beluga Head had to be the best ‘Double Dipper’ ever to grace the Red Chamber. And ”if bulls–t was brass, good olde Mike would be John Philip Sousa”!! **2/ What ever happened to Tiny Tim? No, not the little crippled kid in Dickens ‘A Christmas Carol’, the ukelele strumming, whistling, and singing voice like no other (thankfully) putting out several ‘hit songs’ like Tip Toe Through The Tulips! Perhaps he’s tip-toeing at the Pearly Gates. ***3/ Whatever happened to Chief Theresa Spence the ex-Chief at Attawapiskat Reserve in Northern Ontario….NOT the most Honest In’jun when it came to handling her Band’s finances!! (along with her ‘boyfriend’). Whoa! Bet’cha she could show Beluga Head a trick or two! Everybody ‘tired of her’ and her starvation diet on an island they ‘claimed’ in the Ottawa River right near Parliament Hill. She got a ‘FAIL’ for the diet as she was surely near 200. Has anybody spotted her? And let us know for next week’s edition who/whom you are wondering about. Send comments to jbrotz@bell.net.

*Thought Of The Day…Word has it that NBC has pulled the fall showing of The Wizard Of Oz….yes, the one with Judy Garland, Ray Milland et al….from their lineup as it is offensive to people without a brain.

***UPDATE***Mon 13th….5:30AM Jane Brown on Zoomer News….’Protests’ planned today by the ‘anti-vaccies’ group at hospitals, focus on Tor. General Hosp. about their ‘rights’ no doubt. I said they’d be ‘kicking it up a notch’ last week but this tyme they’ve been told flat out to keep their unruly shouting matches away from Tor. Gen….and all hospitals! Stay tuned!! 

 

….and this one got Rotzy’s attention….and then some! So I’m sending it out especially for what I call the ‘Hybrid Bunch’, that new, slowly growing part of the car-buying public who want to rid the world of fossil fuels, at all costs. And these hybrids DO cost! A lot. Check it out….*With electrical grid systems that already become ‘challenged’ (or ‘overworked’ if you prefer) by a temperature of, say, -20C….or ‘at the other end of the thermometer’ and +30C with the oft accompanying ‘brownouts’ over LARGE areas, how in the hell is it gonna handle 100 Million cars being plugged up each and every night??!!*

Smart… I Know Not…
….how nor why this came to me the other day….the word SMART….and its’ numerous meanings/applications/uses. As an adjective in ‘That’s a ‘smart’ new suit you’ve got’. That guy’s not very ‘smart’….(another adjective)….he’s only got Grade 9….phlunked out after 1 2/3 years in Grade 10. That’s a nasty scrape on your knee….does it ‘smart’? (a verb?) C’mon man, ‘smarten’ up. (definitely a verb) Or, ‘he’s got a case of the ‘smarts’.(noun) And/or even ‘she’s a real ‘smart’-ass’. (adjective; noun, if you wish). Anyway, methinks it was re-triggered this morning about 9:00 on the way home from my twice-weekly appointment at the VON to have my leg bandages checked and re-wrapped when I stopped for a red light on the Wayne Gretzky Parkway behind a car that read ‘SMART’ on the back of it. Sorry, but it wasn’t. Smart. At all. In any way, shape or form. It was stupid/not sporty/very ugly in fact. The makers (Mercedes????) no doubt sell it as being ‘practical’. Sorry. Rotzy sees it as ‘practically’/absolutely unsafe. And I rather doubt my 220 lb frame (I actually ‘dipped’ to 216 last Wed!) would fit even remotely comfortably into one! There was a guy who owned a black and grey ‘Smartmobile’ up in Geraldton….an area where moose, black bear and cetera abound, hence , here we go. Again. I wouldn’t want to take on anything bigger/meaner than a Monarch Butterfly in one of them….you think? I didn’t believe they have a ‘hybrid’ model, but no doubt they are popular because they likely get 3000 miles to the gallon. It reminds me of a ‘car’ a buddy of mine owned about 50 years ago…an Isetta, which opened from the front and methinks ran on a Lawn Boy mower engine. It ‘calfed on him’ within a few months. So….SO….y’all can have your ‘mowers’, your Smart cars, your ‘Hybrids’ and cetera….I’ll stick with Norm The Nissan Truck….with a cruise in Edna the Equinox now and then….whilst the rest of them are ‘saving the planet’. Al Gore and David Suzuki will love ya! 

Voting….or not?
    Is it just ‘the nature of the beast’? (*I refer to politics in general as ‘the beast’) Is it ‘smart’? Is it stupid? Have other parties/governments done this? Is it a waste of tyme/money? I’m guessing the answer could be/is ‘YES’ to those five questions….but with an *asterisk beside it, because WW I and WW II aside, Canada (and everybody else) has never been in such a dreadful mess before….yet, in two weeks we’re going to vote in a Federal Election!!?? Hell….it seems like we just had one, does it not? The first tyme I was allowed to vote (the age limit was 21) was in 1968, the year Trudeau Mania swept the entire country. Pierre Trudeau. I went with the new NDP guy, Derek Blackburn, who woulda/coulda/shoulda won, but finished up as one of many ‘victims of the Mania’. Anyway, that evening I ended up going with a pal down to the NDP HQ at the UAW Local 458 Union Hall to watch the results come in and have some brown pops, finding the process quite interesting because of the very CLOSE race between Derek and the Liberal candidate (Dick Beckett?), who eventually squeaked out the win. If I remember correctly, it was close enough to require a re-count, altho the initial results stood. By the bye, in the NEXT fed election PET Mania had flown the coop, Blackburn won and became MP for Brant for several terms. So….SO….it was likely that nite at the #458 Hall that sparked an interest (*see below) that would become Federal, Provincial and Municipal and when I started doing newspaper items/columns (Orono Times Weekly/Bowmanmville Statesman, even the Toronto Sun) three decades ago, politics often surfaced. Obviously, they still do, ending up in a Rotzy Rant. By the bye, Miz Jo and Rotzy aren’t Liberals….and we aren’t Conservatives…altho we’ve been BOTH, but not at the same tyme. Back in 2001 or ’02 we hurriedly became ‘card carrying Fed Liberals’, brought on board by our MP Joe Comuzzi, in an effort by Paul Martin to ‘remove’ Jean Cretien as Leader….which they did, quickly….and Martin became #1. Soon after that, the ‘Right of Choice’ bill (abortion or no) came forward, and Joe being a good Dogan had only ONE way to go, so Martin ‘removed’ him from the Lib Caucus and within a week Stephen Harper welcomed Comuzzi with open arms to the PC’s at a small ceremony in Thunder Bay Miz. Jo and yours truly were invited to0….Joe also became Min Of Fednor. We were also card carriers for the  (Provincial) NOP….that’s not a ‘typo’, it is/was The Northern Ontario Party….and there was some talk at one tyme of Rotzy becoming their candidate for T.Bay/Superior North, our riding when we were in Nakina, so I would have been running against our olde friend, long-tyme Lib MPP Michael Gravelle! (*Michael told me “(I) want no part of THAT”! , but he was breathing easier when I advised him we were already in the planning stage of moving south….and the ‘commute’ between Brant’s Ford and that HUGE riding, not to mention Queens Park trips, would be absolutely brutal!! “Hey Toad”, I said (to myself), ”what is all this s–t about? You’re really rambling on here”! “I don’t really know….but methinks I’m trying to come up with a reason as to whether or not to vote on Sept 20th. (What are you talking about, Toad?….NOT VOTING”?!) “That’s what I said stupid! The majority of Canadians (70-75%) clearly don’t want an election”! “But you’ve NEVER missed out on voting, because as you say, ‘that’s ‘democracy”.(*see above) Well, if I DO vote, it’ll be AGAINST the arrogant, little Dick-head that had/has the balls/is stupide enough to try and pull this off, and not so much a vote FOR the PC’s….if you get my drift? You know….you walk into the polling station….announce your intentions of ‘intentionally ‘spoiling’ your ballot’ to the ladies….and you walk outta there feeling  ‘good’….or  ‘relieved’….in spite of ‘NOT doing your democratic duty’. S–t. That is the heck of me! I do believe I just felt ‘a little ting-a-ling of guilt’, The “F/N” readership got any thoughts on this Rotzy dilemma?

*Thought Of The Day…”PAYDAY”….a popular caramel and peanut chocolate bar is changing its name because it’s offensive to those who don’t work.  (thanks Billy….not his real name)

The election campaign may have inspired Rotzy, kicked him up a notch, ‘cuz he’s back to his finest form…ever !

Rotzy ‘Took A Good Run’….

….at a couple of Cdn politicos last week….the P/M and the P/O (Premier of Ont)….and their ‘lack of fortitude’ in handling ‘vaccine issues’ that are in dire need of being handled….significantly better than they are. To make my point (*see below), in last week’s Times-Star I said ‘they have no balls….or cajones if you prefer. OK? Now, I know not what “From Nakina” looks like in the Times-Star finished product….in fact, I haven’t seen but one in almost three years, relying on the ’email/pre-print version’ since Miz. Jo and yours truly migrated south to the Banana Belt….among other things, to see if Eric K. actually lets me say/write ‘balls’….(‘cajones’) or is it like my ‘watered down/G-rated version’ of s–t? No matter, just the olde guy ‘making my point’ (*see above), OK? OK.  Well, I gotta tell the “F/N” readership that in one “F/N” week BOTH of these guys underwent some kind of ‘semi-magical transformation’ seldom seen in politics….or anywhere else for that matter….whereby Trudeau and Ford suddenly have ‘balls galore’ and immediately put their ‘new-found characteristic’ to the test. In Junior’s case he has ordered, yes, ORDERED all govt employees to be fully vaccinated by October the ? I gotta check on the date, but does it matter? And if you don’t concur with The Big Guy, you are among the unemployed. To hell with ‘your rights’! Let’s face it, there are few if any gov’t employees making anywhere near minimum wage; some jobs pay really BIG bucks; and some jobs are real ‘plumbs’, Do YOU want to throw THAT away? Plus your 23 years seniority?! OK, OK, OK, so Rotzy will admit that J/T has a rather ‘captive audience’ to deal with, but don’t you see it as so ‘out of character’ for Junior, the way he just zoned in on them to become, if you will, ‘the canaries in the mine’….probably telling himself ‘we get this bunch needled, then teachers, nurses, LTC staffers and the rest will follow like sheep’! *And, if that isn’t ‘ballsy’ enough for you, did you catch what Ford has done? Each and every MPP sitting on the PC side of Queens Park had, like, about 2 1/2 days to show proof of vaccination(s)…..or you can hit the road, Jack!  Jill too! You’re off the PC Team; any and all of the numerous perq’s the Team offers are gone; you will now sit on the other side of QP; you’ll NEVER run under the Blue Banner again; in fact, you may find yourself on a boat to Botany Bay. Aaarrrrrrrr!! Holy s–t….talk about having a ‘captive audience’! So….SO….the way Rotzy sees it, Dougie is phailing (absolutely and miserably) in his vaccine dealings with the nurses, teachers and cetera….’NO BALLS AT ALL’ it says here….looking like a phool with his phoot in his mouth….and if I hear Ford ever-staunchly defending people’s ‘rights’ one more tyme, I’ll ‘toss my “F/N” cookies’….however, for some reason, all of his VERY OWN PEOPLE can go to hell….in a hurry. I’m gonna be honest here….s–t, when am I not honest?….and admit yours truly figured Ford was doing a decent job (overall) with the Pandemic, especially in the phirst year….but now?….I wouldn’t ‘ride the river’ with him, no thanks!!

Buying Votes….What Timing!
    The caller on the line to Libby Znaimer on Zoomer’s Radio’s Fight Back fone-in show at noon was a 92-yr olde lady from Vancouver, who was obviously very much ‘with it’, commenting on P/M Trudeau calling a federal election the VERY NEXT DAY after handing all Canadian oldsters 75 and over $500. For what, I’m not sure….for lasting that long?….but who cares? Anybody with an IQ higher than that of Cheerios*tm knows full well what it’s for!! C’mon man. So Miz. Jo and I put a G-Note in our account. Anyway, the caller was all over Trudeau for having ‘promised’ the same thing two years ago, then, of course, we never did see the $500….hence she’s calling this one ‘retroactive. Hey, call it what you want….it was/is meant to BUY your vote in September….plain and simple. As to the G-Note for Jo Ann and Rotzy….of course, we accepted it….I’m not as dumb as I look….but I would much prefer a 25% increase on OAS and CPP!….whereas methinks we’re getting 10%….and I’ve spoken with all our various MP’s for 20 years now, Liberal, PC, NDP and Green asking for 15 to 25% because the amounts are SO badly outdated, it’s damned near laughable. *memo to the P/M*….Here’s another point that’s gonna come back and haunt you….you’ve now hurt the feelings of all the oldsters in the 65 to 75 age bracket, and it’s gonna cost you. We don’t want an election, don’t need an election, but you want a majority, hence YOU are rolling the dice….and WE will pay the bill for your little gambit. As to the $500….once more….didn’t votre pere ever tell you ”You can’t BUY votes”?! Stupide!!  Not mine to be sure…..but ‘merci’ anyway. I’m not sure about Erin O’Toole….but I am sure of you….you’re done. Toast. NDP’s not gonna do it, so the only thing I know about the PC boss is that he used to splash around in the shallow end of the pool during ‘laps’ when his Dad (John, former MPP for Clarington) was a Coach in the competitive swimming class our kids swam in. S..t, Justin,….your idiotic/poorly tymed ‘bribe’ is of the magnitude that Erin still comes in ahead of you. I can see a number of your own Liberal caucus deciding not to run this tyme because of your decision….you know, the olde ”I want to spend more tyme with my family” and other such ‘reasons’. One or two have already signed off. Imagine.

Updates And Stuff
    I was reasonably sure I saw my life flash before me as my Samsung Galaxy Cell Phone fell to the pavement down by the Skyline Living Commune Garden early last week….I was just switching it from one of my 4-inch paint brushes to the other (aka my partially functioning hands) to do another call to Miz. Jo….a ‘daily’ routine in my Cell Fone 101 Course. S–t! No, no, no….it was MUCH worse than a few ‘No’s….Rotzy came right undone…..blew a gasket….major nervous breakdown….totally lost it….the whole “F/N” works! Lots of coughs and ‘far coughs’ a-plenty. Sorry to say that my pals Wheelchair Bobber and Radman (not their real names) took the brunt of the explosion, tho they knew not why. Neither did Helene (not her real name either) who picked a BAD tyme to come and ask ”how’s your garden Bob”? ‘No good for s–t, Helene’ I growled, or something like that, at which point she hastily departed. So….SO….I carefully retrieved Sammy Samsung, whose face now resembles a road map of New Jersey with cracks going everywhere, and somehow I called Jo Ann, who actually answered….so Rotzy turned the air blue again, Miz. Jo quickly settled me down by saying ‘you don’t have to move out’, ‘the fone still works phine’. Anyway, I was afraid to even touch Sammy for a phew days….OK, OK, OK, OK I lied, and I’m STILL scared of/by it!!!….so I’m lagging behind a tad in my lessons. Stay tuned. AS to Health And Wellness….still visiting the VON twice weekly for leg bandaging and pressure ‘tensor socks applied….maybe a couple more weeks to get bandage-free. And no other appointments in the immediate future. Oh yes…..trying not to do a complete melt-down and become a large puddle of perspiration….holy s–t, is this HOT or what? but still no hose/tap for us olde guys to play ‘Barney Bad-Ass’ under! I’ll see if we can use the other tap here at #555….Rotzy will will be The Hoser!

*Thought Of The Day…Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. (Miz. Jo)

Lots of good jabs, and not vaccine ones either.

Here’s A Big Tip….
….of the “F/N” hat here at the “F/N”HQ to ‘The Boss’ and ‘Slowhand’ (not their real names)! Bruce Springsteen and Eric Clapton have both in the last couple weeks announced big tours….methinks starting in September….and as always for them, in large venues. Immediately/right from the get-go they made it VERY clear that fans must be fully vaccinated to get in….no if’s, and’s or buts, otherwise, keep your money in your pocket!! Well, good on them, a couple 70-something rockers showing more cojones than a number of politicians, especially those of the Canadian variety (*see below). So, rock on guys, and thanks for showing what some ‘common sense’ will do. It says here that their shows WILL sell out and there won’t likely be any placard-waving anti-vaccers (*see below) standing around outside the arena/stadium, telling anybody that cares to listen to them all about ‘their rights’….but being drowned out by the amps/speakers inside blasting out ‘Born In The USA’ or ‘Layla’.

COVID-19 Vaccines….
….the ‘yays’ and ‘nays’ of it. Well, Doug Ford continues to meander his way along (*see above) cow-towing to any group who demands ‘their rights’ prohibit anybody and everybody to ‘force them’ to be vaccinated. Of course, Dougie has been advocating/agreeing right alongside them and ‘their rights’. That’s not hardly ‘PROgressive’, and for sure not ‘AGGressive’ Mr Premier….in fact it sounds like something a ‘Liberal-leaning’ Premier might come up with….you think. But then last week Junior Trudeau decides to give it his best Mr. Tough Guy imitation and orders ”all government employees’ to be fully vaccinated….like, right now? Meanwhile, Ford doesn’t know whether to s–t or wind his watch as he gets set to take on the province’s teachers before school opens, altho I’m betting he’ll recognize that THEY have rights too! Well, to hell with the ”rights”. This coronavirus is eating up the world! Canada is ONE of a FEW countries that has enough vaccine to cover its entire population. SO DO IT! Never mind ”rights”! EVERYBODY gets two shots! Young people, olde people and all the people in between! ASAP! By the bye, up to recently I’ve just been of the thinking that ”Miz. Jo and yours truly have had ours, yours is your own businesss”….until Rotzy spoke with an ‘anti-vaccine guy’ last week….I’ll call him ‘Dick’….(not his real name, but it seems to fit) OK? If his thinking/reasoning/train of thought is similar to others of the same not-for-me persuasion, they’re in trouble because that train has done run outta coal!! And Dick’s ‘argument’ didn’t seem to have anything to do with his ‘rights’ at all. It was all about ‘wrong’. Like, it’s wrong to have him become a ‘guinea pig’ for some huge, money-grubbing lab; ‘wrong to put that s–t into (his) body’….I LOVED that one!!; then he comes up with ‘that stuff (the corona-virus) didn’t come from bats, it was ‘manufactured’ (by China, USA and cetera). Anyway, if this is the line of thinking for many/most anti-vaccers, COVID may never disappear. Also, if you’re in the ‘roll up your sleeves group’ save your breath and tyme rather than try to talk the ‘Dicks’ out of their stance. By the bye, yours truly has always used the daily count of ‘new COVID cases reported in Ontario’ as to noting whether it’s bad/badder or worse/worser than the day before….OK?….hence, as of today (Sun 15th) Ontario is back up over 500 a day! And climbing, in fact when school goes back….if it does….they say we’re looking at 1200 cases a day….or more. Lovely. Meanwhile, the Alberta Gov’t had some kind of brain fart last week and put the ‘we’re returning to normal’ rules (or lack of them) into Overdrive. Bad idea! it says here. So….SO….one of the immediate changes’ will see less money spent on COVID. Premier Whatshisname says that will free up more (former) COVID health dollars for more pressing things, like Opioid Overdosing and Syphyllis. Yes. Syphyllis! I am not making this up. Methinks the Premier has been inhaling those Tar Sands’ fumes for too long. Anyway…..be good boys and girls and get your vaccine shot(s)!!

Garden Updates And Stuff
    Well, the boss….Miz. Jo, not Springsteen this tyme….accompanied me to the Garden of Hope last Monday for her first inspection of our patch, also known as #58 over there, and also, by my unbiased thinking, as quite likely one of ‘the top three’ plots over there….hey, ‘top five’ for sure….when it comes to layout, plant spacing, cultivating, weeding, and cetera….and Judge Jo agreed. Aside from a late start and FINALLY getting word to go ahead, that it was/is ours, after an initial (almost) ‘devastating set-back’, then the attack on the cabbages by Buggs and his rabbit-pack, all looks well….except for the Lincoln Homesteader Peas…they were part of the ‘set-back’ and got tromped on pretty good, but here’s hoping! Plus the vine plants Rotzy ‘found’ in Plot #48, which is the assigned place for mulch and weeds….I seriously de-weeded the entire plot (with help from two neighbour ladies) and now we wait to see what variety of squash we’re getting. I’ve pulled the beans off our Commune Garden….still carrots, beets, leeks and onions in there, all doing well. Don’t tell anybody, but we’re investigating rumours that somebody might be ‘helping themselves’ to the garden and raised boxes down there. Stay tuned on that. As to my Cell Fones 101 Course…..’doing good’ to quote Boog (not his real name). Well, perhaps a little better….and thankfully, ‘John the mystery man’ hasn’t foned back to rattle my chain again.

Let Me Get This Straight….
….a couple weeks ago now, Canada opened it’s borders to foreign travellers…no ‘holing up’ for fourteen days any more….including (just for the sake of comparison, if not in the name of ‘fairness’) Americans and British. Alas….Canadians are NOT welcomed in those two countries….which happen to be our closest ‘allies’ in the world. So, while the Lord Mayor of Niagara Falls Ontario can’t stop smiling these days…..Joe Biden and the English P/M, the guy with worse hair than the Trumpster, aren’t acting very ‘allied-like’ at all. ‘Unfair. They’re being rude to us’! Cries Erin O’Toole from the other side of The House. ‘Imagine….the gall of it all’ lies Rotzy. ‘They’ve got more balls than brains….let alone totally lacking the standard Diplomacy we three share….our favourite next door neighbour AND our beloved Motherland!!!  Why’? And ‘where in hell is our Prime Minister’? Well, Junior Trudeau….aka Fluffy by a couple “F/N” readers (I can’t write some of his other names) doesn’t have any balls….cajones if you wish….to ‘retaliate’ against this Yankee/Brits snub. Then it was as if he ‘went into hiding’ the last couple days…and so “F/N” went digging’. I couldn’t get anything from ‘our olde friend from The Big Turnip, the Min Of Health, Patty Hajdu as she’s ‘ignored us’ for several years now, the last chat being during her visit to Notre Dame Des Ecoles in Nakina where I was helping her ‘learn francais’. But, if I could find her, she’d surely tell me her Boss was enroute to the new Governor General’s house to have her ‘dissolve parliamentt’….and voila, an election. *It’s Sun 15th 11:24AM….and instead of using my regular Deadline of Sunday Noon-ish….I’m gonna back it of to ‘Early Monday AM….so I’ll be in the know. I’m hoping the new lady G/G does ‘have cajones’ and says ‘No’. What’s ‘Fluff’y going to do, fire her?! NOT!! Stay tuned. *more to come….

**Update…’early Monday AM’….7:30 in fact. No surprise(s)….guess the new lady didn’t want to rock the P/M’s boat?….even tho some 70% of Canadians DON’T want an election….and maybe we’ll sink J/T’s Good Ship Lollipop.

*Thought Of The Day…No mask on your face….you big disgrace….spreading your germs all over the place……..(thanks Freddie)